As you can see from the photo of Steve Jobs’ medical file above, the co-founder of Apple tested positive for HIV back in 2004 (for a full size version click here)
Of course the Zionist controlled mainstream media are circulating the false story that Steve Jobs died due to complications of pancreatic cancer as a smoke screen. However, Allah in his wisdom inflicts AIDS patients with something called “Kaposi’s sarcoma”, which emulate the effects of pancreatic cancer. Which would explain why Steve Jobs would use it as his cover story.
One can only speculate how Steve Jobs contracted the AIDS that killed him, but since Apple products cater almost exclusively to the AIDS ridden homosexual demographic, bareback butt sex is definitely at the top of the list of possible suspects.
Reports are just coming in confirming that former Apple CEO Steve Jobs is dead at the age of 56.
No word yet on how Steve Jobs has died, but one can only assume it was from embarrassment over Apple’s announcement earlier this week that instead of releasing the new iPhone 5 they will be releasing an “iPhone 4S”.
One thing is for certain Steve Jobs’ funeral will be sleek, well engineered, but terribly over priced.
As we reported a few years ago, the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, commonly known as HIV, was distraught when it found out that it had contracted Amy Winehouse. However, HIV received some good news this weekend when it learned that it had been completely cured, and is now 100% Amy Winehouse free!
In a press conference held at the Mayo Clinic, HIV along with fellow Amy Winehouse suffers gonorrhea, herpes, whooping cough, and gingivitis, spoke with the media about how it feels to finally be rid of Amy Winehouse.
“It is just a huge load off my chest” said HIV. “I feel like I can breathe again” added whooping cough.
While the exact cure for Amy Winehouse has not been made public yet, doctors are already speculating that it may have been a potent mixture of crack, crystal meth, boxed wine, and horse tranquillizers that finally did her in. It will be interesting to see if doctors can use this knowledge to create a vaccine to protect against other terrible diseases such as Tila Tequila and Lindsay Lohan.
Anticipating the Rapture, country music star and devout Christian Taylor Swift had her 6 month old miniature doberman named Romeo euthanized late last night.
According to a source close to Swift, she did not feel right about leaving Romeo behind with no one to take care of him when the Rapture came and she ascended to heaven, so she made the difficult decision of having him put down.
Of course the Rapture has not occurred yet, but the day is still young. Let us hope for Taylor Swift’s sake it comes soon or she is going to feel awfully silly for having her dog killed.
Wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage died a few hours ago when he suffered a heart attack while driving and crashed into a tree.
Savage was driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler and munching on a Slim Jim when he veered across a concrete median, through oncoming traffic, off a turnbuckle, and collided head-on with a tree.
Savage was transported to Largo Medical center, where he died from his injuries, and was stripped of his title.
Praise be to Allah for smiting this infidel bastard. Macho Man has long been an enemy of Islam and one of our great warriors The Iron Sheik as you can see in the video below. Hulk Hogan you are next!
As respected members of the media we have received an advanced copy of the Osama Bin Laden death picture that the White House will be releasing to the general public, and already we are ready to declare the picture a fake.
We had a team of Photoshop experts from Tehran University meticulously analyze this alleged Osama Bin Laden dead picture and they found it to be “riddled with discrepancies” and “frankly one of the worst Photoshop attempts” they have ever seen. Obviously the guy who did Obama’s birth certificate was on vacation, and like we reported earlier, Osama Bin Laden is still alive and well.
Hey but don’t take our word for it. The exclusive White House photo of Osama Bin Laden’s dead body is posted below. Warning even though it is a forgery this picture may be too graphic for some users. Viewer discretion is advised.
Well this is just pathetic. In a move that reeks of desperation, the United States is pretending that they have killed Osama Bin Laden.
Of course the USA is lying as they are completely incompetent and couldn’t kill their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone hunt down a righteous Jihadist like Osama. Obviously the United States has gotten so desperate that they are resorting to lying about Osama’s death in the hope that he will reveal himself to prove that he is still alive.
Sorry you silly American twits, but Osama is not going to fall for your little ruse. All Muslims know in our hearts that Osama Bin Laden is alive and well, and probably plotting his next masterful terrorist move while sexing a big pile of hot ladies. Allahu Akbar!
