We all know Kendra Wilkinson from her days as a high-class prostitute to the sultan of skanks, Hugh Hefner, but did you know that she also dances for money on the show Dancing with the Stars?

Correction: danced for money, because last night the judges wisely kicked her off the show.

You see, Kendra is married to Hank Baskett who is a “free agent” in the NFL, aka unemployed. And even though we all know it is a man’s duty to support his wives, he chose to force Kendra into slave labor rather than get a real job. Pathetic.

The 25-year-old told People magazine about her disappointment in having to go back to her lazy husband. “I’m going to miss the glamorous life – the best hair and makeup, the best costumes, the best partner.”

Things that she should have been provided by her husband. But when asked for a response, Hank replied that he is proud of his wife and her strength— dangerous accolades to give any woman, as they should remain humble and loyal. “I give her props,” he explained. “I told her that the best thing about it is she showed the world how incredible of a woman she is.”

Let this be a lesson ladies: If you want a husband who will provide for you, make sure you don’t choose one who is as much of a pussy as Hank Baskett.

Further proving that Americans use God only as a springboard for reality television success and McRib coupons, pagan soul Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaskan mannequin Sarah Palin, recently told People Magazine that “faith and prayer” helped her get through a reality show in which Americans dance to fun music for money.

It is shameful to use any God, even the crappy American one, for help with personal, trivial issues. In our bunker outside of Kabul, we rely on God for food, and to quell the infections in our feet. Yes, we hold dance contests, but we would never use Allah to see us through them. For dancing success, we rely on Usher videos, and early-period Christina Aguilera routines. Perhaps if Ms. Palin had been granted the strength of Twinkie refusal, she would not have needed divine intervention to swing dance for three minutes.

Once, I was walking down a street in Islamabad, and I swear to Allah I heard an American journalist asking for help fixing a flat tire. American’s are so weak. Praise be to A-to-the-H.

Joanna Krupa loves a good laugh, which is important now that everyone will be laughing at her. Apparently she’s been whoring herself out for some disgusting, low budget exploitation flicks. But enough about Dancing with the Stars! She’s also done Tickle Porn!

Apparently, some guys get their kicks by watching two hot girls tickle each other, and Joanna needed money, so she was more than happy to oblige. I’m not going to say that I don’t enjoy two hotties having a tickle fight, but I’m not 13-years old anymore. These days it takes a lot more than that to get me going. Then again, most of my genitals were burned off in that bomb-making accident, so maybe that has something to do with it as well.

Here’s the tickle video. Thanks, Jonna Krupa.

Joanna Krupa is going to win “Dancing With The Stars”. How do I know this? Just look at the pics below.

She is ridiculously hot and she isn’t afraid to show T & A. What more could America ask for? Not to mention she is up against the likes of Kelly Osbourne and Macy Gray. The disparity in looks could not be greater.

Naysayers will point out that Joanna Krupa is exceptionally annoying as a person. Every time Joanna opens her beautiful mouth I want to punch her in the throat, but that doesn’t mean she won’t win. Just look at Megan Fox. She is an insufferable twit as well, but I’d still pay good money to drink her bath water.