Jessica Simpson watched her dog get snatched by a coyote on Monday. Simpson still believes her beloved dog Daisy isn’t coyote food yet despite reports to the contrary.
Jessica posted this message on Twitter:
“Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.”
Well it turns out Jessica is right. The coyote who took the dog has provided Celeb Jihad with his ransom demands. We ask that everyone help make Jessica aware of these, or her dog may be killed.
The coyote’s demands are as follows:
- 10 ACME Rocket Packs
- 2 pair ACME Rocket Shoes
- 1 Oversized ACME Bear Trap
- 1 Dead Roadrunner
- And to see Jessica Simpson’s tits
Celeb Jihad has found Jessica Simpson’s missing dog “Daisy”.
Yesterday a distraught Jessica Simpson went on Twitter and posted a panicked tweet for help.
“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!”
Not one to stand ideally by while a beautiful buxom blonde is in need of assistance I immediately set out to track the dog-napping coyote.
I picked up its trail outside of Simpson’s residence and followed it out into the desert. After nearly 24-hours of pursuit, and the senseless slaughter of numerous coyotes I thought looked like they could be the one, I finally came upon the coyote that took Jessica’s dog.
Luckily I had gotten there just in time as the coyote had just released the dog. Of course I snapped its neck anyway just for causing Jessica distress.
Anyway here is a pic Jessica Simpson’s dog Daisy I rescued from the coyote. I’ll be happy to bring it back to her when I receive the reward money.
