Converted Muslimina Miley Cyrus seduces Selena Gomez’s father Paco Gomez in the photo above.
Now that Miley has Selena’s dad under her sexual spell, we can expect Paco to finally punish his daughter with either an honor killing, or by selling her off to a Syrian slave merchant.
Regardless of how it happens, Selena Gomez and her whorish antics will soon be a thing of the past, and we have committed Muslim Miley Cyrus and her irresistible sex appeal to thank. Allah truly smiles down upon on this glorious day!
Earlier this week, 2 of Robert Kardashian’s ex-wives claimed that the she-beast known as “Khloe Karadashian” was not the deceased lawyer’s biological daughter. Khloe’s mother Kris Jenner confessed that she had an affair while married to Robert, but stubbornly refuses to admit that Khloe is not his child.
However, earlier today Khloe Kardashian’s real father came forward, and he is none other than famed cereal icon Frankenberry. Of course it is not hard to believe that Frankenberry is Khloe’s real father as they have the exact same nose, eyes, forehead, chin, and insatiable appetite for sugary breakfast cereals.
By admitting to be Khloe Kardashian’s father Frankenberry is bravely shinning a light on one of the darkest periods of his life, telling reporters, “The early 1980′s were a crazy time for me. Monster-themed breakfast cereals were the rage, essentially making me a rock star and I certainly partied like one. I was doing a lot of coke and sleeping with a different woman every night. We all were Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Fruit Brute (RIP). It was the thing to do.”
Frankenberry then went on to recount the night he slept with Khloe’s mother Kris, “To be honest with you I thought she was a man. I mean she looks like a man. I was so coked out at the time I didn’t care, I was just trying to get it in. Of course if I knew then that I was creating something that looked like Khloe I would have pulled out and finished on that bitch’s man face.”
When asked if he was looking to have a relationship with his daughter Khloe Frankenberry responded, “What the hell for? I get drunk and sleep with big ugly whores, I don’t want to be a father to one.”
There has been no response yet from the Kardashians.
Pop star Justin Bieber showed why he is a sex symbol for millions of meth addicted infidel teen girls yesterday by exposing his bare concave bird chest while out on the beach with his biological father Mr J-Fed Bieber.
Much like his son, Justin Bieber’s father J-Fed is the picture of masculinity in the infidel world. Standing at 5’4, weighing nearly 180lbs, and covered in crappy looking tattoos, J-Fed embodies the image of the ideal man in the West.
Yes these Bieber boys are revered by the kuffar masses, and are allowed to breed with many a 13-year-old girl. Certainly the Bieber seed will travel far and wide creating a race of scrawny douchebags which our sons (probably our daughters too) will easily slaughter with a mighty swing of their saifs. Allahu Akbar!
Lindsay Lohan spent her Halloween assisting the elderly as part of her community service, by acting as a maid for Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner’s Halloween party.
As you can see in the photo above, Lindsay Lohan received a welcome surprise when her father Michael Lohan showed up out of the blue looking for a place to “hide from the cops”.
It is great to see the holidays bring families closer together like this.
The first Muslim Miss USA, Rima Faki is embroiled in a scandal over a picture of her in a tiny bikini sitting on her father’s lap while he lovely strokes her thigh.
What these ignorant closed-minded kuffars fail to recognize is that Rima and her father are Muslim, so there is not a damn thing wrong with him touching his daughter wherever and however he damn well pleases.
The Qur’an is very specific that daughters must honor and obey their fathers. No where does it say that father’s should not f*ck their daughters, so it must be assumed that Allah approves of the practice.
In fact there is the following verse from Achmed 7:12 that states,
“Ye do not cumeth in thy daughters for thy will birthith unto you a mongrel. Insteadeth finisheth on the faceth or titties. So sayeth Allah”
So as you can see this picture of Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih in a bikini sitting on her father’s lap is not only appropriate, it is blessed in the eyes of Allah.
Robert Johnson was your typical middle class all-American man, until the day he agreed to chaperone his 2 daughters and their best friend to a Justin Bieber concert. Little did Robert know that his life would never be the same.
The girls blasted Justin Bieber music in the car on the way to the concert. “I didn’t think it was that bad” said Robert. “I figured it was better this Justin girl than some rap music talking about sex and violence.”
Upon arriving at the Justin Bieber concert Robert and the girls hurried to take their seats. “The opening act had just come on and I was kind of enjoying myself. I had no idea of what was to come! How could I know!” Robert exclaimed.
Finally it was time for the main act. The house lights were dimmed and then a series of fireworks announced the arrival of Justin on stage and he began to perform, as you can see by Robert’s reaction in the photo above he was not prepared, “I was not prepared! That music… Justin’s voice… it haunts me until this day… What kind of loving God would allow sounds like that to exist I ask you!?”
Unfortunately when the concert ended the nightmare for Robert was just getting started. “The sounds, they haunted me.” said Robert. When Robert arrived home he experienced what his lawyer is calling a “music induced psychotic episode”.
Robert grabbed the family’s beloved pet cat and boiled it alive in front of them. “I was just hoping that the screams of my family would drive out the sounds of the Justin Bieber concert, so I murdered Mr Muff Puff right before their eyes. I was desperate!”
Robert’s wife and kids have left him and he is awaiting trial on charges of animal cruelty. Robert hopes his story serves as a lesson for others like him who may contemplate taking their daughters to a Justin Bieber concert. “If I have one piece of advice for father’s of Justin Bieber fans out there it is this. Beat them… beat them hard.”
Justin Bieber, the name strikes fear in the hearts of men, but was he always the monster despised the world over that he is today?
We ran into the man pictured above leaving a methadone clinic in Santa Clara, and we were immediately struck by his shocking resemblance to Justin Bieber. We abducted him and questioned him for hours. It wasn’t until we performed some light torture on him that he finally admitted the awful truth. He is Justin Bieber’s real father.
There have been many rumors surrounding the whereabouts of Justin Bieber’s dad. Some claim that he took his own life when he heard his only son wanted to become a singer. One of the more ridiculous rumors has Justin Bieber’s father being divorced from his mother, and living in some mythical place known as “Winnipeg”.
However, now we had uncovered the truth. Justin Bieber’s father was in our possession. As we waited for him to regain consciousness (from the light torture) we prepared ourselves to interview the man who spawned the tormentor of our world, Justin Bieber.
When Justin Bieber’s father awoke we immediately pressed him for comment on his famous son. Like a sage he began spouting fatherly wisdom to his long lost son, gems like “Boys should play baseball” and “Heroin is a hell of a drug”.
We decided not to print some of the more personal father son messages (like what to do with a dead hooker’s body) as we will be sending the full transcript to Justin Bieber. We can only hope that hearing from his real dad will make Justin Bieber rethink the destructive life choices he has made, and finally get his act together.
Allahu Akbar!
