Sources have confirmed that teen heartthrob Joe Jonas is dating Betty White.

Joe Jonas and Betty White were spotted getting cozy while having dinner at 4:30pm at a Cracker Barrel in Palm Springs. According to an eye witness “They seemed really into each other. Betty was rubbing her wool stockings up and down Joe’s leg, I thought it was going to start a fire. She kept hand feeding him hard candies from her purse, and he was licking them up. It was disturbing”

Joe Jonas and Betty White met through mutual friends of his grandmother. Apparently there was an instant attraction when Betty White offered to take Joe Jonas’ temperature rectally. She then regaled him with the tale of how back in St. Olaf, she was the deepthroat champion 5 years running. They have been inseparable ever since.

Audrina Patridge and Kirk Douglas are Hollywood’s newest item according to a source close to the couple. The pair was spotted on a date at the Garden of Palms Assisted Living Center Tuesday night alongside friends.

“They were at a table with friends, but Kirk and Audrina, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours,” the sources said. “They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together on Kirk’s Rascal.”

In response to this shocking pairing Audrina’s ex-boyfriend “Justin Bobby” is said to be actively pursuing Liz Taylor to, “go for a ride on his motorcycle”.

Former American Idol finalist, Kellie Pickler, has revealed that she has been dating Kid Rock for more than a year, but the couple have managed to keep their relationship a secret from the media.

The romance between Kid Rock and Pickler is “the worst kept secret in Nashville” according to a country music insider. Yet their fans were completely unaware, and many have expressed shock about what they consider an odd couple.

“I would have never guess these two would hook up in a million years” said JoAnna Lee Dean of Huntington, Ala. JoAnna went on to say, “I mean he is poor white trash from Michigan and she is poor white trash from North Carolina. What could they possibly have in common? For their sake I hope they can overcome their vast cultural differences, but I don’t see it working out.”