This video of celebrities like Jessica Alba and Katy Perry reading mean tweets is the best video of infidels reading things against their will I’ve ever seen… that doesn’t end with a beheading.

Twitter is a vital tool in the jihad against the infidel celebrities as it provides a direct line of communication to the PR intern hired to run the celebrity’s account, and is the perfect medium for conveying colorful insults and physical threats.

I urge all celebrity jihadists to take to Twitter and let these Zionist tools know that they are the scum of the earth, and us Muslims will soon have their heads on a pike.

The greatest scientific minds in the world at Celeb Jihad labs in Tehran have finally proven what many of us have long suspected… which is of course that all celebrities are in reality ugly shape-shifting reptiles used by the Jews to enslave humanity.

As you can see in the damning video above, the true form of celebrities is finally revealed. Truly a magnificent discovery and one that will strengthen our numbers and resolve in our epic Jihad against Zionist controlled Hollywood. Allahu Akbar!

What would celebrities look like if they were Pokemon? It is not something I would ever wonder, because I am a virile Muslim man not some degenerate Jap. However, I did find this image on the matter somewhat entertaining.

With a complete disregard for Islam and the holy Muslim holiday of September 11th, Zionists in Hollywood have released a video featuring the top 10 naked celebrity movie actresses of all time.

As a proud Muslim I demand retribution for this heinous act that has been perpetrated against my people. I will not be satisfied until these nude scenes are destroyed, and the actresses who participated in them are brought to justice in Sharia court. Unless my demands are met in the next 48 hours, a fatwa will be issued! Allahu Akbar!

Scientists at the Iranian Institute of Beautology have done it! Using super computers and a program known as “The Photoshop” they were able to construct what the world’s most beautiful woman will look like. Praise be to Allah!

The scientists using science took pictures of all the most beautiful female celebrities and then started combining them scientifically until they were left with one perfect face. Then they each took turns using the picture of the final woman in the bathroom. See the pictures below for how the experiment unfolded.

The first group of women includes actresses Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron, and Elisha Cuthbert.

Group 1 combined to make these 2 women. Very beautiful but we can do better.

Here is the final result from Group 1.

The second group consisted of Hilary Duff, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Alba, and Jessica Biel.

Group 2 combined to make these to sluts. Maybe it is just me but they look c*ck hungry. Definitely an attractive group.

Here is the final result from Group 2.

The third group is the sweetheart group. We got Keira Knightley, Kate Bosworth, Kristin Kreuk, and Mandy Moore.

Group 3 came out looking a little funny, but still very bangable.

Here is the final result from Group 3.

The fourth and final group of the experiment consists of Megan Fox, Monica Bellucci, Natalie Portman, and Scarlett Johansson.

What we learned from Group 4 is that Megan Fox would be slightly hotter if she combined with Monica Bellucci. She should get on that.

Here is the final result from Group 4.

Now we take the final results from the 4 groups and combine them. Group 1 with Group 2 and Group 3 with Group 4.

Here is our results. We just need to combine these and we’ll have the world’s most beautiful woman.

This is our final result. The world’s most beautiful woman. Now we just have to stop her from looking like a complete gutter skank whore by adding a burka and we’ll be done.

Beautiful!

Usually when you hear about celebrity plastic surgery the story involves some image obsessed celeb who went crazy and had their body and face mutilated. However, there are some celebs that go under the knife and actually come out looking better. Here is our list of the top celebrity plastic surgeries.

Name: Heidi Klum
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Although from an aesthetic standpoint the operation was a success. The doctors mistakenly removed Heidi’s taste in men resulting in her marrying the mutant singer known as “Seal”.

Name: Holly Madison
What she had done: Lots
Interesting fact: Holly paid for her surgery with the money she earned giving old men handjobs in the VIP room at “Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club” (a skill she famously capitalized on later in life).

Name: Kate Beckinsale
What she had done: Dental veneers
Interesting fact: Kate demanded that her new teeth be sculpted from the ivory of baby elephants.

Name: Ryan Gosling
What she had done: Nose job
Interesting fact: Besides the nose job Ryan also received a series of injections to his face to increase the appearance of smugness.

Name: Giselle Bundchen
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: The surgery resulted in a free Tom Brady penis implant.

Name: Adrianna Lima
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: After the surgery her boobs were bigger.

Name: Marisa Miller
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Marisa’s doctors admired her vagina while she was under anesthesia.

Name: Heather Locklear
What she had done: Boob job
Interesting fact: Even with big boobs Heather has not been attractive since the late 80′s.

Find out more about getting a nose job here.

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and “give thanks” for our many blessings.  We asked several of today’s hottest celebrities what they were thankful for….

	Britney Spears is thankful for her two wonderful children…and Roe v. Wade…in no particular order.
	Guy Ritchie is thankful to be over his debilitating eight-year case of dry twat.
	Perez Hilton is thankful for Paris Hilton, a generation of celebrity-obsessed retards, and assless chaps.
	Oscar the Grouch – “I’m thankful that Jim Henson is still dead.”
	Kirk Cameron – “I’m thankful that my role of Mike Seaver in Growing Pains allows me to spread the word of God to lost souls watching A&E at 4:00 am. I’m also thankful that so many of those lost souls have bought my book, Still Growing, in stores now.”
	Twilight star Robert Patterson is thankful that teenaged girls are so god damn stupid.
	Dr. Phil is thankful that middle aged women are so god damn stupid.
	Leonard Nemoy – “I’m thankful that JJ Abrams found a way to bring my only chance of working back from the dead…again.  Not even Jesus of Nazareth has topped that.” (Writer’s Commentary – “That’s my fave because I took a shot at Spock and Jesus.”)
	Gary Busey – “I’m thankful that the recent economic downturn hasn’t affected the quality or quantity of delicious honey produced by my ant farm.”
	Richard Gere is thankful that everyone forgot about “the whole gerbil thing.”  We didn’t.
	Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is thankful that Biggie Smalls took those potentially embarrassing rumors about bedwetting to the grave.
	Rosie O’Donnell is thankful to live in a culture where being an ignorant loud-mouthed muff diver gets you on television rather than stoned to death in the town square.