Noah Cyrus Is Too Damn Sexy!

Jimmy Jihad — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:11:26 +0000

Miley Cyrus is about to turn 17, and frankly, it’s showing. Age is taking its toll on her once perfect body. She’s clearly hit the wall, and in another year or two she’ll be an old hag like Lindsay Lohan.

But luckily for us, help is on the way! Meet Noah Cyrus, Miley’s sexy 9-year-old sister. This past weekend Noah was driving all the boys wild with not one, but two sexy Halloween costumes, both of which featured trashy makeup and black leather knee-high boots!

Clearly, Noah is comfortable in her sexuality. That come-hither smile and those knowing glances show that she’s not afraid to use her raw sexuality to her advantage.

I predict she’ll have photo spread in Maxim sometime next year. Unfortunately we’ll have to wait for her to appear in Playboy and Hustler thanks to this country’s ridiculous child-pornography laws. American’s will let a woman vote, but they won’t let a nine-year girl take her top off? You’re all a bunch of hypocrites!

What’s the big deal? Mohammed had a 9-year-old wife, and he turned out pretty damn good. As my uncle Ali back Saudi Arabia used to say, “if there’s grass on the field, play ball…provided she is a virgin from a respectable klan and her clitoris has been removed.”

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Noah Cyrus Is Too Damn Sexy!