Actor Shia LaBeouf messed with the wrong woman last night, when he and Islamic sex symbol Chaz Bono got into a fight outside a bar.
The fight started when Chaz Bono confronted Shia LaBeouf about his shitty movies, demanding her ticket money back for “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”. Shia, who is still under the delusion that his movies don’t suck, took exception to this and challenged the lovely Chaz Bono to “step outside and settle this like men”.
As you can see in the video below Chaz, being a woman not just of considerable beauty but of brawn as well, easily beat down the limp-wristed half Jew actor Shia LaBeouf. A hilarious video and truly a great day for Islam!
Pop diva Justin Bieber got beaten up pretty bad by none other than Disney star and mental patient Demi Lovato! As you can see Justin Bieber’s face is badly bruised and he reportedly also suffered a slightly torn labia after a confrontation with Lovato outside a Santa Monica nail salon. Frankly, he is lucky to be alive.
Demi Lovato was recently committed to a mental health facilily for various severe mental health issues after she assaulted one of her backup dancers in early November. Demi obviously targeted Bieber because of his alleged relationship with her ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez.
Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez had a well documented hot teen lesbian affair, and when the relationship deteriorated so did Demi’s mental health. Recently pictures of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber getting cozy have surfaced which is probably what caused Demi to snap and attack Justin Bieber.
I could always sense that the Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato lesbian love triangle was going to end in violence. There is little doubt that Selena will answer this attack against Justin Bieber, and the violence will continue escalating. Let us hope no innocent Muslims get caught in the crossfire.
Demi Lovato was admitted to a hospital last night with two black eyes, cracked ribs, scratches on her arms and face, and a torn labia. Did her boyfriend Joe Jonas go all Chris Brown on her and beat her up? Of course not!
According to the hospital report when Demi was asked how she got hurt her eyes filled with tears and she exclaimed “He didn’t mean it… I fell down some stairs.” Luckily for Demi her boyfriend Joe Jonas found her after her fall and brought her to the hospital, but not before scrapping his knuckles while lifting her up.
Demi Lovato needs to be more careful. Next time she falls down some steps her amazing boyfriend Joe Jonas might not be there to rescue her. Maybe she can take a dance class or something to improve her balance.
Robert Pattinson wants to teach you how to beat up dogs! “It is surprisingly easy” says the actor.
What started as a hobby for Pattinson has turned into a full grown obsession.
“Let’s be honest I’m cowardly and feeble, I don’t stand a chance in a fight with most humans. That is why I just love beating up dogs! They are so small and trusting, and they know very little about modern fighting techniques and weapons. After mopping the floor with a mangy mutt I finally feel like a big man.” said RPatz.
Now Robert Pattinson wants to share his love with the world, by teaching everyone about the joys of dog ass-kicking. And what better way to reach the people then a late night infomercial! The infomercial for Robert Pattinson’s “How To Beat Up Dogs” DVD will start airing in early November in select local markets.
“We are concentrating our marketing efforts in the suburbs of Fort Wayne, IN and Great Falls, MO, because we’ve heard that they have some real sass-mouthed canines there that need to be put in their place. But we hope to expand to larger markets like Baton Rogue and Sacramento by Christmas time.”
The Twilight star concluded by saying, “Don’t take guff from dogs like a chump. Buy my DVD today!”
Girls Gone Wild founder and tremendous douchebag Joe Francis took hitting on the ladies to the next level last night when he beat up fellow douchebag Brody Jenner’s girlfriend, Playboy Playmate Jayde Nicole.
According to Jayde Nicole, Francis was hitting on and harassing one of her girl friends so she did what any sane person would do, she threw her drink in his face. That’s when Joe punched Jayde in the face, threw her to the ground by her hair, and kicked her in the ribs. Apparently Jayde’s friend tried to come to her defense and she got punched too.
Joe Francis then fleed from the club. Brody claims to have chased him, but was tasered by some mystery person (yeah right wuss).
Being the man that Brody is though he didn’t let the tasing stop him from talking smack on Twitter about the incident saying, “Joe Francis beat up my lady this morning for no reason! Pulled her to the ground, punched & kicked her..what does that say about him. How can you call yourself a man when you beat up a girl?? Joe Francis is a piece of sh*t. Joe Francis needs to be in jail!!!”
Notice the extra exclamation points at the end he obviously means business!!!
Police are looking for Joe Francis to question him about the assault. Hopefully they can find him before he hangs himself in a hotel room in Canada.
