This is the latest ultrasound of Kim Kardashian’s baby with rapper Kanye West.
As you can see in this ultrasound photo, Kim Kardashian is just about ready to squat down, spread her enormous butt cheeks, and push out her abomination offspring.
Let us all pray to Allah that Kim accidentally flushes this mongrel baby. For the thought of a Kim & Kanye mix roaming the earth is almost too much for even a courageous Muslim like myself to bare.
After he was overcome by the vapors and fainted during a performance last week, Justin Bieber’s handlers decided to take no chances with the health of their meal ticket and carry Justin to his car seat.
Of course Justin Bieber isn’t required by law to use a car seat but they are recommended for anyone under 4’9, and with Justin’s frail frame he’d be unlikely to survive even a minor traffic accident without one.
Yes Justin Bieber fans can rest assured that their fragile imp of an idol is being well taken care of. In a related story, sources close to Bieber have confirmed that the rash on his wee-wee is clearing up nicely.
Princess Kate Middleton is ready to officially announce her baby’s gender, and early reports indicate that the news of the sex will shock the world. That is because Kate Middleton’s baby is a hermaphrodite.
Like most of the inbred British royal family, Kate Middleton’s baby is an abomination against nature, and will be born with both male and female sex organs (and possibly horns and a tail, but that has not yet been confirmed).
Yes the demon spawn of Kate Middleton and Prince William will almost certainly be a grotesque malformed creature. Of course since it is British know one will really notice.
Scientists at Celeb Jihad Labs* in Tehran were able to use super computers and the latest in high tech imaging software to generate this rendering of what Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby will look like.
This photo of Kim and Kanye’s baby is 99.8% accurate, with the .2% margin of error a result of the uncertainty surrounding the color of lip gloss the baby will wear. Not only is this picture of Kim’s baby extremely realistic, but it is also gender neutral and will be true for whether the baby is born male or female.
As you can see in the photo above, the baby will inherit Kim Kardashian’s bulbous misshapen body, Kanye West’s flat nose and beady eyes, and be as dark as midnight thanks to all the African sperm that has polluted Kim’s womb over the years. Truly an excellent specimen of what results from American “culture”.
* A subsidiary of the Iranian Ministry of Infidel Culture & Nuclear Research
The Australian DJ who famously prank called Kate Middleton in the hospital has committed suicide.
Radio personality Mel Greig had been battling intense media scrutiny after Jacintha Saldanha (the nurse who answered Mel’s prank call) took her own life shortly after the incident.
Perhaps unable to come to terms with what her silly on-air antics had wrought, a distraught Mel Greig threw herself to a pack of wild dingos while out herding kangaroos on her family’s ranch.
With the nurse and now the DJ dead, this puts the Kate Middleton baby body count at two. However, it is certain that many more will die as a result of this cursed devil’s spawn that the British royal family is unleashing upon the world.
Neil Armstrong, the first man to fake landing on the moon, died on Saturday at 2:45pm. Exactly 24 hours later on Sunday at 2:45pm MTV “Jersey Shore” star Snooki gave birth to a baby boy.
Clearly Neil Armstrong has been reincarnated as Snooki’s baby as a punishment for his blasphemy in pretending to go to the moon. Allah probably spent 24 hours giving Neil Armstrong the business before shoving his spirit up Snooki’s snatch, so that he can suffer through life having her as a mother.
Allah’s punishment was stern but fair. Neil Armstrong’s partner in crime Buzz Aldrin better repent and admit his moon landing lies, less Allah reincarnate him as The Situation’s anal warts.
Jessica Simpson has finally given birth to her first child, a 327 lbs baby girl named Maxwell Drew Johnson.
As you can see in this exclusive first photo of Jessica Simpson’s baby girl Maxwell, she has her father’s good looks and receding hairline, and her mother’s nose and enormous gut.
Amazingly at just one day old Maxwell can already walk, and recite the Taco Bell drive-thru menu. In fact “7-layer burrito” was her first words, which she uttered a mere hour after entering the world.
