Rihanna was viciously and righteously attacked by former boyfriend Chris Brown while filming the music video for her hit song “Gang Bang Diva”.
As you can see in the video below, Rihanna was mounting one of her dancers for her patented dry hump dance move, when out of nowhere Chris Brown appears and attacks the singer with an open hand punch to the face.
It is nice to see Chris Brown stepping up and finally putting Rihanna in her place. There is no doubt that Rihanna, after being straightened out by Chris Brown in such a masculine manner, is now uncontrollably attracted to him and will try to seduce him. However, Chris must resist Rihanna’s advances and treat her as the gutter skank she is.
Tragedy was narrowly avoided earlier today when Selena Gomez was attacked by a roaming pack of cunt-hungry dykes.
The chilling scene was captured in the photo above. Selena was enjoying a leisurely stroll on the beach in Malibu with her latest lesbian lover. When all of a sudden a pack of dykes descended upon the Disney star, forcing her and her girlfriend to flee in terror. Luckily their was an indie girl band playing at a little cafe near the beach, and the pack of dykes were distracted by the music long enough for Selena to escape relatively unharmed but visibly shaken.
Authorities are still trying to figure our what set off this attack, but experts are already speculating that the wind at the beach must of carried a whiff of Selena’s snazz to the pack causing them to go into a feeding frenzy. A few members of the pack were shot and killed by hunters near the scene, but Malibu beach rangers are still suggesting that women stay away from the area or at the very least start a douching regime.
More on this story as it develops.
Allah be praised! We have just received video from a Celeb Jihad sleeper cell in Spain that brings great news for our battle with the infidels in Hollywood.
Our brothers in Spain have trained a cat to viciously attack Justin Bieber! Soon Justin Bieber’s precious face will be mauled by this cat and the Zionist Hollywood machine will begin to crumble.
The video below demonstrates the cat’s amazing Justin Bieber attack ability. As everyone knows Justin Bieber is a tremendous pussy so of course he loves cats. When the cat is introduced to Justin Bieber his sissy instincts will kick in and he will try to cuddle with the cat. That is when the cat will strike!
Allah be with you cat on your righteous mission! Your martyrdom will be an inspiration to us all. Allahu Akbar!
Michael Lohan, father of hell beast Lindsay Lohan, was attacked outside of his Santa Monica home late last night, and I was no where near the area at the time.
A currently unidentified assailant allegedly assaulted Michael Lohan, slashing his neck and arm with what police believe was a knife, but it was actually more like a filed down screwdriver I found behind the dumpster of a 7/11.
Obviously when an important celebrity like Michael Lohan gets attacked like this the police are under tremendous pressure to solve the case quickly. I fear they may try to pin it on a patsy. Probably some handsome Arab celeb Jihadist, who just so happened to have been sending Michael Lohan threatening letters for the past couple months. You know typical racist LAPD police work.
The important thing for Michael Lohan to remember is that whoever did this is obviously a very dangerous person who would probably not take kindly to him snitching to the police. I think if Michael thinks about it hard enough he’ll remember that his attacker was actually a black male about 6’0 wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans.
Yep that is who the police should be looking for. Allahu Akbar!
For years, we’ve been calling for the stoning of Tila Tequila. It seems Allah, most merciful, finally answered our pleas!
While performing at the Gathering of the Juggalo, a pagan festival in Illinois celebrating the false idols known as the Insane Clown Posse, Tila was finally punished for her wicked sexual exploits. The crowd of infidels was whipped into a righteous frenzy by the power of Islam, and attempted to stone the harlot!
“I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face,” the singer said. “These people were trying to kill me.”
Allahu Akbar! America is normally so squeamish when it comes dispensing Islamic style justice. It’s nice to see such a progressive streak developing right in America’s heartland. And even though Tila managed to escape, I’m sure with a little practice the crowd will be more successful next time. (TMZ)
Breaking News: Justin Bieber has been attacked at a concert in Atlanta, CelebJihad has confirmed. (Scroll down for the shocking video!)
Bieber had just finished a song and was addressing the crowd when a deranged fan lobbed what appeared to be a Molotov Cocktail at the popstar. Miraculously, the explosive did not detonate, but Bieber was struck in the head by the device and had to be rushed to a nearby hospital.
An 11-year-old girl was taken into custody after the attack. Police have not released the suspect’s name, citing her status as a minor. But a source close to the department informed us that she was dressed head-to-toe in Jonas Brothers gear, and was also sporting a red bandanna. Red is the color of the Bloods, a notorious LA street gang who have long been associated with the Jonas Brothers. Bieber is a known associate of their arch rivals, the Crips.
Reports indicated that Bieber is in stable condition, and sustained only non-life threatening injuries. However, doctors fear Justin may have injured her uterus during the attack, which could seriously hinder her ability to have children. Such an injury would make her unsuitable for marriage, thereby invalidating her as a person.
Does Chris Brown want to repeatedly hit Rihanna in the face with a hammer until her skin falls off and she looks like the corpse of Michael Jackson? Surprisingly, the singer says no.
In his first radio interview since assaulting Rihanna, Brown said he wants a second chance. At no time did the singer make any comments about his unquenchable desire to pound Rihanna’s face into a bloody mess with the closest blunt object at hand.
“At the end of the day, I’m human,” said Brown, who was probably thinking about smashing Rihanna’s eye socket with a brick during the whole interview. “Of course you’re gonna have your thoughts and opinions. I’m not gonna say they’re wrong. But at the end of the day, it’s not right to judge someone,” Brown said.
We assume that is code for, “God I wish Rihanna was here right now so I could use this chair to knock out all of her god damn teeth.”
