MTV’s hit series “The Jersey Shore” has begone filming in Florence, Italy, and already one of the show’s stars is in trouble with the local law enforcement.
As you can see in the video below, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was brutally arrested by Italian police earlier today. Snooki is being charged with “impersonating a meatball” a serious offense in Italy which, if convicted, carries a 12 year prison sentence.
Snooki is currently being held without bail in a vat of marinara sauce. No word yet on how MTV is going to handle the situation, or how The Situation is going to handle the situation.
Actor Nicolas Cage was arrested this weekend for something called “domestic abuse”. After reading the police report I was shocked to find out that “domestic abuse” was simply Nic Cage exercising his Allah given right to straighten out his mouthy wife with a few body blows.
By arresting Nic Cage for beating his own wife the United States has committed yet another human rights violation. In accordance with the teachings of the Qur’an, a man’s wife is his property and he has an inherent right to control her however he sees fit.
It is now more clear than ever that the Zionist controlled American government has no respect for Allah’s laws, and will continue to persecute great men like Nicolas Cage who dare to exercise their rights. The American people must rise up against these tyrants, and let them know that they will no longer stand idly by while Big Brother tells them how they can and can not discipline their women.
Tila Tequila, star of MTV’s “Shot at Love” and the 1996 blockbuster Independence Day, had her boyfriend Chargers linebacker Shawne “Roid Monkey” Merriman arrested over an altercation they had at his home this weekend.
According to Tila, the couple were arguing, then Shawne started choking her and refused to let her leave his house.
Shawne Merriman admits he did choke her but that was only because he heard she enjoyed “deep throating” and was confused about what the term meant. Also he says Tila was drunk and he did not think it was safe for her to drive, so he only restrained her to keep her from injuring herself or others.
Tila Tequila responded on Twitter today saying, “I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila ‘Tequila’ cuz the irony. I cant drink.”
I believe Tila. Of course her nickname is “Tequila” because she does not drink. She’s like my paraplegic friend “Walkie”, or that blind guy who runs a fruit stand by the freeway who I affectionately refer to as “Hawkeyes”.
