MTV “Teen Mom” star Amber Portwood was rushed to the hospital in Indiana yesterday after she allegedly tried to commit suicide.

For those who don’t know Amber is a foul-mouthed portly whore who got knocked up in high school by some fat slob named “Gary”. So basically she is your typical American girl.

Why Amber tried to take her own life is still unknown. However, we can only assume that she finally had a moment of clarity and realized what a disgusting piece of trash she was, and decided to do the honorable thing and kill herself.

Of course being the stupid infidel that she is, she failed miserably and reportedly is not even visibly hurt. What a complete f*ck up!

This is Amber from Dallas, TX and apparently she is Kobe Bryant’s secret girlfriend. People that know her in Dallas say that Kobe has been banging her for months, sending her sexual texts, and even flew her out to LA for a few Lakers’ games.

Amber does look like Kobe’s type, that is to say a completely average looking white girl. Maybe Kobe thought if he took this frumpy girl as his mistress it would be easier to keep secret.

If this affair gets confirmed Kobe better be ready to take his wife jewelry shopping. After that whole rape thing Kobe gave his wife a 8-carat purple diamond ring worth about $4 million. I wonder how much she will charge him for Amber?