Like most of the nation I have been in tears for most of the day today after finding out that Jesse James has been having an affair behind Sandra Bullock’s back with some girl named Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. This news is so devastating that I, like most of you, will probably be forced to take my own life from the grief sometime later today.
Until then I’d like to cast a light on the home wrecker who ruined the Sandra Bullock Jesse James marriage. As you can see in the picture above she has that girl next door look that men find irresistible. Apparently her affair with Jesse James started when she friend requested him on Facebook. Everyone knows a friend request from a girl on Facebook is an open invitation to pillage her stink hole. Poor Jesse James was unable to resist the allure of this fresh faced vixen and succumbed to her brazen advances by inviting her up to LA to stay with him while Sandra was away filming “The Blind Side”.
I can only pray that Sandra Bullock finds it in her heart to forgive Jesse for this small indiscretion. Hopefully she can realize how lucky she is to have a man like him for her husband. It is so rare to find a tattooed wannabe tough guy in LA that if you are fortunate enough to get one you damn well better hold on to him.
Well the flood gates are now officially open. A new woman has come forward claiming to be Tiger Woods mistress.
Her name is Jaimee Grubbs. She claims she met Tiger in Las Vegas in 2007. She was a cocktail waitress at the time. According to Jamiee she had a long-running affair with Tiger.
If Jamiee Grubbs looks familiar that is because she is no stranger to being the other woman. On the 1st season of VH1’s “Tool Academy”, Jamiee was one of the girls who brought on her boyfriend because he acted like a tool.
Half way through the show Jaimee was shocked when another woman appeared and claimed to be her boyfriend’s real long time girlfriend. The tool confirmed that the other woman was his real girlfriend and Jaimee was just something on the side.
I have a feeling a few more women are going to come forward before this is all said and done. Tiger should have stuck with the long drive instead of trying to 2 putt.
It looks like Tiger Woods needs a new driver.
In an apologetic statement released today, Woods said that the accident he was in early Friday morning was his fault. Tiger then went on to make a startling confession.
I know there has been a lot of nasty rumors going around about me. Well as this accident plainly shows they are true. I am in fact half-asian, so I am a horrible driver.
Asians have long been known to be a scourge on our nation’s roads. For years Tiger Woods apologists have claimed that being half-black overpowered the horrible driving genes he got from his Asian mother. However after this recent incident we can see that unfortunately for Tiger this is not the case.
No word yet what other parts of Tiger are Asian, but according to sources close to the couple, Tiger and his wife have been fighting a lot recently. This will inevitably lead to further speculation that Tiger Woods is also Asian in the pants.
This is Amber from Dallas, TX and apparently she is Kobe Bryant’s secret girlfriend. People that know her in Dallas say that Kobe has been banging her for months, sending her sexual texts, and even flew her out to LA for a few Lakers’ games.
Amber does look like Kobe’s type, that is to say a completely average looking white girl. Maybe Kobe thought if he took this frumpy girl as his mistress it would be easier to keep secret.
If this affair gets confirmed Kobe better be ready to take his wife jewelry shopping. After that whole rape thing Kobe gave his wife a 8-carat purple diamond ring worth about $4 million. I wonder how much she will charge him for Amber?
