After being rushed to the hospital and finding out she was pregnant just a few days ago, Selena Gomez is apparently now “all better” and “not pregnant” according to her rep.
Did Selena Gomez lose the baby? Doubtful considering she is a Mexican woman and they are as fertile as they come. Could it be that Justin Bieber bullied Selena Gomez into getting an abortion?
According to a source, after hearing of Selena Gomez’s pregnancy Justin Bieber showed up at her house with what appeared to be a wire hanger, latex gloves, and a roll of paper towels. However, he stormed out a few minutes later reportedly shouting, “All right princess I’ll pay for it! Geez!”
The next day an annoyed Justin took a distraught Selena out to a clinic for a “check up” (see picture above). One can only speculate as to the nature of this check up.
CelebJihad has learned that teen singing sensation Justin Bieber recently had a secret abortion at a private medical facility in Malibu. Bieber, who hit puberty just a few weeks ago, discovered she was pregnant after missing her period. She immediately flew to Los Angeles for the secret procedure.
An unwed pregnancy had the potential to destroy Bieber’s good-girl image. It would have also strained relations with Justin’s father, who has gone to great lengths to protect his daughter’s virginity. Because of this, Justin made the painful decision to terminate her pregnancy.
While the identity of the father is unknown, Bieber was recently seen cavorting with singer Sean Kingston in Miami. If Kingston was in fact the father, a great shame is now upon his clan. His family has been denied a child that could have been put to use herding animals or sewing rugs to sell at the local bazaar. To regain his pride, Kingston will no doubt be forced to commit an honor killing by throwing sulfuric acid on Justin’s face while she sleeps.
After a disastrous performance by Tim Tebow at the Senior Bowl on Saturday, the group behind his controversial Super Bowl ad says it is changing its’ message.
Originally the ad was supposed to feature a Pro-Life message with Tim Tebow’s mom Pam Tebow reciting the story how she ignored her doctor’s suggestion to terminate her pregnancy of Tim. However the theme of the ad has now changed according to Mitch Adel, the CEO of the group who payed for the Super Bowl spot. He released this statement earlier today:
“After watching Tim Tebow’s sub-par performance at the Senior Bowl yesterday we have decided to change the message of our Super Bowl ad featuring Tim and his mom Pam. I think it was pretty obvious to anyone who watched that game that Tim is a 3rd to 5th round draft pick at best, and probably should have just been aborted.
You could say it was kind of a road to Damascus moment for me. I now see that we need abortions, and hope that our commercial, featuring a guy who will never make it as a starting QB in the NFL, will help young mother’s out there to do the right thing, and throw themselves down the nearest stairwell.”
Dr Ching the OB/GYN who originally suggested to Pam Tebow that she should terminate her pregnancy of Tim has been staunchly defending his medical recommendation for years, saying:
“Looking at Pam’s ultrasound and watching Tim’s movements and brain development in the womb I could tell he would have an elongated throwing motion, and would have trouble taking snaps under center as well as reading through progressions against an NFL defense. That is why I suggested to Pam that she terminate the pregnancy immediately less she give birth to a disappointment. Sadly she didn’t listen.”
The debate on whether Tim Tebow is an NFL quarterback or if he should have just been aborted 22 years ago will rage on. However, if Tim’s fundamentals do not start improving by the NFL combine I wouldn’t be at all surprised if his mom Pam just goes ahead and has him aborted before the NFL draft to save herself the embarrassment.
Remember Lisa Loeb? Us either, but I guess she’s been knocked up by her husband, Roey Hershkovitz (I think he’s Italian).
“They’re excited to welcome their first child this winter,” Loeb’s manager told People Magazine.
We here at CelebJihad would like to congratulate the happy couple. We’re glad they decided to waive their legal right to an abortion and let the child “Stay.” Get it?! Ha!
