Scrawny infidel actor Mark Wahlberg made a fool out of himself last week when he stupidly claimed he could have prevented 9/11.
The fact that this 5’8 140lbs pansy with a Jewy last name thinks that he is man enough to face off against even one Muslim man is laughable. Clearly Mark Wahlberg is deranged as a Muslim woman or child would handily kick his ass.
That is why I was not at all surprised when I stumbled upon this video recording of Mark Wahlberg making further ridiculous claims during that infamous interview. Listen for yourself in the video below.
Selena Gomez showed an unbelievable level on insensitivity yesterday by openly mocking Muslims on our holy holiday of 9/11.
As you can see in the video above Selena Gomez took to the stage dressed as some sort of glittery Arabian whore, and proceeded to seductively wiggle her hips signaling her willingness to breed for money.
How dare Selena Gomez mock Muslims by portraying our women as sparkling whores! This outrage will not stand! In response I am personally going to go out and hate f*ck every Mexican prostitute I can get my hands on, and I suggest all other pious Muslim men do the same. It is the only way Selena Gomez will learn that Islam is not to be messed with!
Like all good Muslims yesterday, Miley Cyrus partied late in to the night celebrating the 10th anniversary of Islam’s thrilling victory over the great Satan America on 9/11/2001.
Miley Cyrus was seen dancing, shouting, and firing her AK47 into the air at the “Arabian Nights” nightclub on Sunset. For Muslims around the world September 11th has become a holy holiday, and a time to celebrate while we reflect upon how much better and tougher we are then the infidels in the United States.
Of course heathen Americans try to steal our glorious 9/11 holiday by making it about them. Have they no shame? 9/11 was a victory for Islam and is thus our holiday. Leave it to the immodest yanks to even attempt to celebrate their defeats.
My fellow Jihadists we here at CelebJihad are fuming mad right now! CNN and the rest of the Zionist controlled mainstream media have just unleashed an attack against our holy site.
Watch the video below of the woman (ugh) CNN reporter slandering our good name, and referring to our site as a “joke”. At the 1:47 mark is when her heathen tongue begins to defile our noble cause.
We always knew it was just a matter of time before the Zionists unleashed their dogs (the mainstream media) against us. What they are attacking us over is this Justin Bieber ground zero mosque story we ran a few months ago.
Now we here at CelebJihad just report the facts as we see them. We don’t make any claims to being “literate” or being able to speak a word of english. In fact all my posts are dictated using crude sketches on scraps of paper to a Mexican day laborer named Manuel.
Anyway the onslaught against CelebJihad continues with the likes of Salon, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, and New York Magazine all running smear pieces against us. Some even going so far as to refer to us as a “softcore celebrity porn” site.
What these Zionists shills fail to realize is that this site has been blessed by Allah as the leading Islamic extremist celebrity gossip site. All their attacks on us are futile and we will continue to disparage their precious celebrities idols. Allahu Akbar!
There has been a lot of controversy surrounding my brother, Charlie Sheen’s (real name Carlos Estevez) recent article in which he conducts a fictional 20 minute interview with Barack Obama chastising him for not re-investigating 9/11.
As a sign of solidarity with my brother Charlie I have decided to write my own fictional interview with a political leader. I call it “10 Minutes With The Vice President”.
Emilio Estevez – Good afternoon Mr. Vice President, thank you so much for taking time out of your demanding schedule.
Vice President Joe Biden – My pleasure, the content of your request seemed like something I should give a crap about.
EE – I should point out that I voted for you, as your promise of reviving long dead acting careers of 80′s stars struck an emotional cord in me.
VPJB – Ahh I made no such promise Emilio, but I am a big fan of your work.
EE – Go on
VPJB – I really enjoyed the Breakfast Club that was a great film.
EE – Go on
VPJB – Ahmm… Those Mighty Ducks movies were great to watch with the kids.
EE – Go on
VPJB – I’m sorry I don’t really know what else you want me to say.
EE – Go on
*6 minute awkward pause
EE – 9/11!
VPJB – Yes what about it?
EE – NINE!
VPJB – Yes?
EE – ELEVEN!
VPJB – OK?
EE – September 11th 2001… where were you?
VPJB – I’ll actually never forget were I was on that sad day. I was on the floor of the Senate preparing to vote on a bill when
*Interupts
EE – Interesting
VPJB – Ahh yes. Anyway like I was saying. I remember Senator McCain came running up to me and
*Interupts
EE – Quack!
VPJB – I’m sorry did you just quack?
EE – No!
EE – Quack!
EE – Please continue
VPJB – Alright so Senator McCain came up to me
*Interupts
EE – Quack!
VPJB – I’m sorry I’m not going to sit here and be quacked at by some has been actor!
*2 minute awkward pause
EE – 9/11!
VPJB – OK I give up! I can’t take it anymore! Yes 9/11 was an inside job. Powerful forces in our government used Eastern European jackals to pack the support columns of the World Trade Center buildings with military grade explosive nano-thermite. They did this to justify spending hundreds of billions of dollars on 2 wars, to destroy American freedoms with the Patriot Act, and to advance their goals for a New World Order. And yes now President Obama and I are continuing the plan because we are just puppets to the global financial elite. Are you happy now!
*Vice President Joe Biden then storms out of the room
EE –
Fans still reeling from the shocking events of last Thursday have been shaken by the news that a second plane has just hit Michael Jackson.
The aircraft, an American Airlines Boeing 737 struck the LA County Coroner’s vehicle carrying the body of the deceased superstar, en route to the Jackson family home. First reports suggest that the plane, AA Flight 83 bound for Las Vegas, Nevada, lost contact with ground control within seconds of leaving LAX at 4.28pm.
The only subsequent communication received, seconds before the impact, was of an hysterical male voice screaming “Glory to the name of Allah! Revenge on the infidel Jackson for the blasphemy that was ‘Invincible”! Get my 72 virgins ready – I’m gonna get my freak on!”
On hearing of the latest tragedy, hysterical Jackson fans encamped at the singer’s Neverland Ranch were shocked once again into spouting inane cliches and platitudes. “This is the day the music died again, just like it died last Thursday, only it wasn’t really totally dead then, but it sure is now. But it will live on as long as it is not dead.” sobbed Lavisha Washington of Butte, Montana who has been keeping vigil at the gates of Neverland since 1992, just in case Michael died suddenly.
Shortly after news of the incident broke, Jackson’s father Joe paused from thrashing daughters Janet and LaToya to release this statement; “I ain’t surprised. That’s what that boy gets for playin’ glove puppets with those little white children.” A visibly moved Jackson then added “My record label is releasing videotapes using Blu Ray technology, or somethin’. I also have a website kinda thang.”
