Sandra Bullock is a disloyal wife. Even after Jesse James was guilted by the Zionist media into issuing that ridiculous public apology for exercising his Allah given right as a man to pillage any woman’s vijeen he wants, Sandra still has not resumed her role at his side and instead moved out of his house in Long Beach.

When Jesse purchased Sandra from her father for a dowry I imagine consisted of a fair amount of goats since she is a useful working woman in the movies, she swore to be his loyal servant for all his days and then when he passes to take her own life on top of his grave so that her body will decompose and serve as fertilizer for the flowers placed there.

However, now Sandra Bullock is using this Jesse James plowing some whore story to forsake her wifely obligations. I don’t see why Sandra should be upset at all. Last time I checked she was the only wife in Jesse James harem. How much attention does one woman need!?!

I think it is about time Jesse James maned up and tracked down Sandra, smacked her around, and dragged her back to his home. He may also considering taking her clit for humiliating him with this public temper tantrum.

Jessica Alba proves once again that motherhood has not changed her whore like ways, and its only impact on her has been saggier breasts.

How I pity Jessica Alba’s child. Imagine having a mother that walked around in a revealing top like that, bent over so her bosom dangles for all to see. How much shame must that child feel? How much happier would he be if Jessica wore a motherly burka instead of dressing like a street walker?

Jessica Alba has got to realize that now that her loins have been soiled by birthing a non Muslim child, no one is interested in what little sex appeal she has left no matter much cleavage she sticks in our face. She is just bringing shame to her family with these pathetic attempts to draw attention to herself.

Tiger Woods’ mistress Joslyn James has made headlines today by releasing a series of very graphic text messages that Tiger allegedly sent her during their relationship. Here is a sample of the ones released that got my loins burning.

- OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust.
- I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you
- Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? … just morbid curiosity.
- You are my f**king whore. Hold you down while I choke you

However, Celeb Jihad has learned that these texts are just the tip of the iceberg, and that Joslyn has been saving the really dirty stuff for later. We were able to get our hands on some more alleged Tiger Woods text messages, and lets just say I haven’t masturbated this vigorously since I heard Farrah Fawcett died of ass cancer. Don’t take my word for it see for yourself:

- OK lets go to the Olive Garden. You can order the pasta primavera and I’ll take it into the bathroom, jerk off into it, then watch you eat it.
- I want to suck a fart out of your a**hole and hold it in my mouth like a bong hit.
- Have you ever eaten another girl’s sh*t out of a cup, then vomited it back into the cup, then watched as she drank the sh*t vomit, then tongue kissed her? … just morbid curiosity.
- You are my disgusting AIDS ridden c*ckgobbling c*m dumpster. I want to take a blowtorch to your nipples.

What did I tell you hot stuff!

Like most of the nation I have been in tears for most of the day today after finding out that Jesse James has been having an affair behind Sandra Bullock’s back with some girl named Michelle “Bombshell” McGee. This news is so devastating that I, like most of you, will probably be forced to take my own life from the grief sometime later today.

Until then I’d like to cast a light on the home wrecker who ruined the Sandra Bullock Jesse James marriage. As you can see in the picture above she has that girl next door look that men find irresistible. Apparently her affair with Jesse James started when she friend requested him on Facebook. Everyone knows a friend request from a girl on Facebook is an open invitation to pillage her stink hole. Poor Jesse James was unable to resist the allure of this fresh faced vixen and succumbed to her brazen advances by inviting her up to LA to stay with him while Sandra was away filming “The Blind Side”.

I can only pray that Sandra Bullock finds it in her heart to forgive Jesse for this small indiscretion. Hopefully she can realize how lucky she is to have a man like him for her husband. It is so rare to find a tattooed wannabe tough guy in LA that if you are fortunate enough to get one you damn well better hold on to him.

After months of negotiations Joe Jonas has appeared to finally come to an agreement with Demi Lovato to be her “beard”. A beard is someone of the opposite sex who dates an obvious homosexual to help them hide the fact that they are gay.

Gay celebrities often use beards to mask their true sexual preferences *cough *cough Tom Cruise. Being a celebrity’s beard can be quite lucrative. No word yet on how much Joe Jonas stands to clear for pretending to date Demi Lovato though. Of course it is entirely possible that this is a mutually beneficial relationship in which both Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas are acting as each others’ beards a la the infamous Taylor Swift Taylor Lautner relationship.

One thing is abundantly clear though, there is absolutely no chemistry or sexual attraction between Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato. Just look at the photo above and tell me which one is the real couple?

Tiger Woods made headlines today when he announced that his return to golf will take place at something called “The Masters”. That sounds like a pretty racist tournament to me, but what do you expect from a self-loathing black guy like Woods.

More importantly though we have heard from a very reliable source (who may or may not be a carnival psychic) that Tiger will make his triumphant return to banging whores behind his wife’s back sometime in early May. After a long period away from the game Tiger has decided he is ready to get back out there and get his golf club wet.

No one knows for sure how Tiger’s sex game will be affected by his extended absence from f*cking, but his fellow adulterers don’t seem to concerned. When asked how Tiger’s layoff may affect his laying ability, long time friend and former President Bill Clinton said, “Tiger is a once in a generation type of cocksman. I don’t see him having any problem getting back out there. His whore wrangling may be a little down at first, but once he gets back inside some stink he should be fine. It is just like riding a bike.”

So skanks of America start doing your stretches and waxing your naughty bits because one of the greatest man whores of our era will be back on the prowl in a matter of weeks.

Emma Watson has finally wised up and dumped her long time boyfriend 28-year-old financier Jew Jay Barrymore.

Emma’s split with Jay comes just days after Israel announced the expansion of settlements in the West Bank. Coincidence? I think not!

Emma Watson has obviously finally seen the truth about the Zionist cabal that is hell bent on ruling the world and enslaving humanity. She must have realized that they were just using her for her looks, and would have most certainly sacrificed her to their Gods and harvested her organs for profit.

Now Emma will no doubt want to be an obedient Muslim wife to a freedom fighting Jihadist. Of course the obvious match for her is noted terrorist Raheim Abdullah Jafer, but I could just as easily see her settling down with someone like Sheik Muhammed Karsal Muswali.