My girlfriend’s pussy tastes like a 9-volt battery

Your moms pussy tastes like fish tank water and mildew.

Oprah Winfrey’s tastes like Soul Glo, while Betty White’s tastes like drywall

My pussy tastes like my dick.

Sharon Stone’s pussy tastes like balls after a 1-mile summer jog

Amy Winehouse’s pussy taste like rotten possum dick……

Mariah Carey’s pussy tastes like horse dick and Nick Cannon

Kate Beckinsale’s pussy tastes like vanilla frosting, pixie dust, and sweet whiskey!

Kristin Bell’s pussy tastes like hand cream and plants (cause she’s a germ-a-phobe and veggie).

Ali Larter’s Pussy tastes like whipped creme and tanning lotion

Ellen DeGeneres pussy tastes like tears, wet animal dander, desperation for effeminent Emo males.

Sharon Stone’s pussy tastes like Chinese Karma and dried blood (cause the last guy who was there probably slit his throat while doing it)

Mandy Moore’s pussy tastes like gumdrops, body oil, and raindows

Nicole Kidman’s pussy tastes like her Tom Cruise’s ass, old records, and some boogers from my ass.

Mick Jagger’s pussy smells like Keith Richards, a cotton ball drenched in gasoline, and grapefruits from my Grandmother’s basement.

My pussy tastes like my girlfriend’s cock and dead bugs.

what is pussy

Nate? Local H Nate?

Julianne Moore’s pussy tastes like paint thinner

Uma Thurman’s pussy tastes like clove cigarettes and vodka

Delta Burke’s pussy tastes like country fried steak and collard greens

Courtney Love’s pussy tastes like gunpowder, gin, and syphilis

Vanna White’s pussy tastes like coconut oil, mothballs, and Fiber One cereal

my boyfriends pussy tastes like his best friends dick

I like to eat pussy, but after fucking Amanda Bynes one night, I don’t think I will ever venture my tongue south again…her pussy tasted like ketchup, blood, old sweat, dog shit, and lead.

The thought of Rosie O’Donnell’s pussy made me throw up a little in my mouth which coincidentally tastes a lot like Drew Barrymore’s pussy.

My brother’s pussy tastes like wheelchair parts, old photographs, bat dick, and Hayleaf Musial…

My beat-up, thrashed pussy tastes like tires, strawberries, old yearbooks, cow utters, semen, Stevie Wonder’s diapers, cock juice, lemons, shoes, dirty underwear, sweaty bras, and breast milk.

Justin Drake from Hammond sucks his brother’s dick…

old batteries? cow udders? mothballs? geez people…lol

Anne Coultier’s pussy tastes like old election punch cards, secret deodorant, and shame.

Juliette Lewis’ pussy tastes like a used microphone and Glycyrrhiza glabra (black licorice).

My pussy tastes like my brother farted on it.

Hillary Clinton’s pussy tastes like Bill Clinton’s semen, New York sewage, sweat, and tears from losing to black guy. WHAT NOW BITCH!!!!

My vag tastes like hair gel, film strips, dusty old records, cheap booze, marijuana residue, my brother’s hair in his asshole, my dad’s ball sweat, and my mom’s pink cotton panties.

My old lady’s pussy feels almost as good as the fish I catch then fuck in their gills.

My lady parts taste like my boyfriend farted into my mouth, then I burped it back into his ass, then he puked it into my mouth, then I swallowed the farty-burpy vomit, then shit it back into my boyfriend’s mouth, where he poured it from his mouth into my vagina while I was pissing when I was on my rag.

Sometimes I spread my legs open and my boyfriend puts his ass between my thighs and on my pussy. Then I stretch my pussy hole as wide as I can and he farts in it. The vibration from his fart makes me have an orgasm and my pussy juices drip all over his asshole. After that, my bf eats me out. That’s what my pussy tastes like.

Martha Stewart’s pussy taste like a flower pot: Let me explain the flowerpot. I shit in her vagina, fill it up, and then plant my seed. So there, Martha’s pussy taste like a flower pot…and that’s a good thing.

My cunt (and by “cunt,” I mean asshole) tastes like me jacking off in my mother’s panties to Johnny Wave.

Angelina Jolie’s pussy tastes like impovershed African orphans, her brother, placenta juice, collagen, AIDS, Bill Bob Thorton residue, and Brad Pitt’s man juices.

My aunt Bridget’s pussy tastes like a bomb that just went off and claimed the lives of all the animals in the house, old floppy computer discs, my Dad’s boyfriend, three bears fucking in the woods, Justin Allen Drake, and the door stop in my bathroom that looks like a giant cock with a curly pubic hair.

Tool Times pussy taste like Al, Wilson, and two of the three Taylor children (Oh, I love J.T.T.’s cock in my mouth).
p.s. I wish I had a time machine that could bring me back to the good ole days, like 1994.
p.s.s. I wish I had a time machine that was a gnarly car, like the one I had in my garage on the show…you know, the one me and the kids were building.
p.s.s.s. If I find the gun that my wife hid on me, I am going to fucking kill myself, and then all the cats.

So I told Tim where the gun was, and part of his brains are in my cunt. Hence forthwith therefore where art thou, my cunt tastes like Tim Allen’s brains.

I am going to kill my children with my wife’s pussy. The ole lady used to tell the chilluns that “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” So after I warsh my hands and wartch Tim Allen (my idol and inspiration for my hair for the past thirty years), I am going to rip out my wife’s vag, and beat those two shit rats to death (my sons, Joshua and Justin–also known as Stin, Stinny, or Stinalicious–respectively).

penis

Halle Berry’s pussy tastes like soot and poo

One time, I went noodling for catfish and used my dick instead of my arm. Unfortunately for all the 13-year-old virgin seventh-grade girls out there, I know longer have the right equipment necessary to deflower them.

I FUCKING HATE CATFISH!!!111 FUCK THEM!!!! I MISS THOSE DAMN 13-YEAR-OLD VIRGINS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS A DICKLESS REDHEADED PERVERT TO DO NOW???!!

Chuck Norris’ Pussy Taste Like Revenge

Katie Couric’s pussy tastes like Walter Cronkite.

Billy Mays here! You probably know me better as that annoying fat fuck who sells home and gardening products on TV. My wife’s pussy tastes like the Orange Glo and Oxy Clean cleaning products I sell on TV. However, she left me a few weeks ago and took our three kids with her. She said she was tired of being married to a man whose only worth in the world is selling shitty products in TV commercials and late-night informercials. She doesn’t even use the damn products I sell! My own mother won’t even buy them. Anyway, even my kids tell me that having me for a father is an embarrassment. My wife comforted them by telling each one that I was not their real father. I began screaming and crying hysterically, to which my wife told me to shut the fuck up, that my voice is even annoying when I cry tears of Oxy Clean. She does have a point- I can’t even go out in public without random strangers asking me if I’m “that annoying asshole selling shitty products in those stupid fucking commercials.” Random strangers sometimes don’t even bother asking me if I am him- instead, they just call me a jagoff. This lead to me drinking every night and eventually landed me in AA meetings after two DUIs. I can’t even fucking go to AA without people telling me how much I fucking suck. Now, I’m back living in my mother’s basement crying myself to sleep each night as my wife moves back into our old house with the children I thought I fathered. They are with their real daddies, who are all either a millionaire doctor, lawyer, or dentist. Those rat bastards didn’t even look like me. Why didn’t I see it before?! I should have known my wife was a whore all these years. After all, the only reason we ever got married in the first place was due to one drunken night in Vegas years ago. After all this, I decided I’m going to kill myself. First, I’m going to drink Orange Glo and Oxy Clean. If that doesn’t do the trick, then I’m going to slit my throat with the Awesome Auger. No one will give a fuck though.

Oh my God! I’m still in shock. (I feel just like one of the giddy 13-year old teenybopper girls I’m infatuated with after they just saw that fag from Fall Out Boy on TV.) None of you guys are going to believe this! Brace yourselves! Okay, here goes. I met JOHNNY WAVE last night! It was so awesome I thought I shit my pants. (As it turns out, I actually found a few turds in my tighty whities this morning.) Johnny Wave gave me his autograph, after I paid him $375.84 for it, then turned his head towards me and looked at me for almost an entire second! It was the most meaningful second I’ve ever experienced in all of my life. I knew from the moment I saw a glimpse of redheaded, freckled face in his jet-black shining sunglasses that Johnny and I were meant to be. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. We communicated on a level so abstract, but only understood by just he and I, that other humans are not even capable of fathoming it. Before our rednezvous ended, I offered my services as a penis-challenged pornographic model to Johnny for an upcoming project of his. After that, he punched me in the face! He actually touched me! I was so in shock from being touched by Johnny Wave himself that I fainted- or perhaps it was from the loss of blood and head injuries. I woke up this morning with a concussion in a hospital bed, then jacked off for many hours to my thoughts and memories with my one and only.

But I know, my girl friend taste like sweet and tasty and to be eaten again and again.

Rosario Dawson’s pussy tastes like a Blue Margarita
Sarah Michelle Gellar’s pussy tastes like garlic and Freddy Prinz Jr’s. strap-on
Jessice Biel’s pussy tastes like silk and honey
Star Jones pussy tastes like a month old fryer vat at KFC and potted meat
Bridgette Nielsen’s pussy tastes like a boxing glove, vodka, and whatever the fuck Flava Flav left in there… Is that a chicken bone?
Celine Dion’s pussy tastes like poker chips and Geritol

All I can do is laugh and add this page to my faves…

Ann Coulter’s pussy smells like a Texas Trailer…and tastes like cobwebs.

I would like to know what nicole graves pussy tastes like but I could imagine it tastes lik pure heaven

J lo’s pussy tastes like honey. I actualy fucked her at d back of my car last week. Fucking bitch.

hey bitches jessica alba and angelina jolie’s pussies taste like heaven and beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bea Arthur tastes like Powdered milk and vinegar.

Megan Fox tastes like cinnamon sugar.

Anne Coulter’s pussy tastes like haggis and lint.

Katie Holmes pussy tastes like a closet door…

Catherine Zeta-Jones pussy tastes like dust with a hint of hope and basil.

My pussy tastes like Thanksgiving Day turkey and its gizzards, bad memories of deceased friends and relatives, my disgust and loathing towards my two grandchildren (Joshua and Justin Drake of Hammond, Indiana), the irritability my daughter-in-law and son have when in my presence, and whatever outfits and little nick-nacks I find at the cheap store.