What Celebrity Dick Tastes Like!
It’s Gay Pride Week, or at least that’s what my dad told me. In honor of this momentous occasion the boys at CelebJihad have gone a little gay and compiled the following list of what celebrity dick tastes like!
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Mike Myers’ dick tastes like it’s been fucking the same dead horse since 1997. |
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Pete Wentz’s dick tastes like it wishes it was Tony Romo’s dick. |
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Tony Romo’s dick tastes like Joe Simpson’s breath mints. |
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Guy Richie’s dick tastes like buyer’s remorse and dusty sardines. |
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Bill Engvall’s dick tasted so mind-numbing trite that I would’ve gladly taken it out of my mouth and replaced it with a loaded shotgun. |
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Tom Cruise’s dick will taste like my ass if his lawyers find out I’ve implied it tastes like anything other than his beautiful wife’s vagina. |
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Randy Jackson’s dick tastes like flop sweat and bacon. |
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George Carlin’s dick tastes like 3 of the 7 words you can’t use on television…and formaldehyde. |
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I thought that Alan Greenspan’s dick tasted like pickled herring, but it may have been Barbara Walters. |
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R. Kelly’s dick tastes like our judicial system’s torn and bloodied asshole…and piss-covered Thin Mints. |
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J. Alexander’s dick…I’m not even going to bother with a joke. Just fucking look at him, for fuck’s sake. What the fuck, man? What the fuck? |
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Bill Clinton’s dick tastes like a bitter, angry cunt. Just kidding! It hasn’t tasted like that since the night Chelsea was conceived. These days it tastes like various hotel maids and a certain Laker Girl who’d better know how to keep her mouth shut. |
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Barrack Obama’s dick tastes completely overrated, but at least he has one (ZING!)! Besides, it was a nice change of pace from having George Bush’s dick in my ass. |
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The Dalai Lama’s dick tastes like it’s been in some sort of gerbil nest. |
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Chris Hanson’s dick tastes like cookies and lemonade. |
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Big Brown’s dick tastes like it’s been in an ass. GET IT?! |
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Perez Hilton’s dick tastes like it’s been in an ass. GET IT?! |
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Charlton Heston’s dick tastes like his cold, dead hand. |
Not a gay dude? Don’t feel left out! Lesbians can check out our Pulitzer-Prize winning article on celebrity vagina. Bisexual? Read both. Transgender? Go fuck yourself (ZING!)!
Chuck Norrises dick tastes like a Fist!
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and vengance….
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Michael Jacksons dick tastes like Pokemon Cards, Chicken Nuggets, and Ruffies..
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AAnarch_EE’s dick tastes like pure testosterone, a T-bone.e steak, Dynamite, and the power of love.
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and ham lots and lots of ham… spiral cut, glazed..with brown sugar…MMMMMmmmmmmm
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will ferrells dick tastes like your ass because your dumb enough to watch his movies
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Chris Hanson’s dick also tastes like justice.
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Barack Obama’s dick tastes like American tax payers
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No, Obama’s dick tastes like Karl Marx, Mao, Stalin & a bit of Hitler. Lots of Carter, but it can be perfected with another Reagan.
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Macaulay Culkin, Webster, and Bubble’s Dick tastes like a Jehovah Witness turned Islam and Plastic Surgery…Get it!?
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Kevin Bacon’s dick tastes like…bacon.
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WRONG!
Tony Romo’s dick tastes like jasmine, roses, jock-itch, Bengay, and the Dallas Cheerleaders.
Ok, that explains the jasmine and roses.
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Man, you are weird. You should just go out, suck someone’s dick, and get over hiding your secret desire for man meat.
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This is one of the biggest wayste of my lif. wy wuld u publisch this?
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