Tom Cruise Katie Holmes To Divorce After Fulfilling Contract

Tom Cruise Katie Holmes divorce



Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have announced that they will be getting a divorce after fulfilling their 5 year marriage contract.


Katie Holmes will obviously be paid an undisclosed amount of money for completing the full 5 years of marriage, providing Tom with the contractually obligated one child, and for ignoring the continuous loud male grunting coming from Tom’s “man cave”.


Tom Cruise will be granted nothing but kind words in the press from Katie Holmes after the divorce, and according to a source is, “Extremely excited to get back out there and have all the sex with ladies in their vaginas… which he does not find gross at all.”

 

  • Tom Cruise Fan

    Tom Cruise is straight!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop spreading lies!!!!!!

    • Benniferrrrrrrrrrrr

      Yeah. He only likes John Travolta’s fat cock up his ying yang.

      • Benniferrrrrrrrrrrr

        What went wrong Tom? Wasn’t Katie’s Strap-on workins for ya’s no mores? Once a fruit always a fruit. Oh look……… Tom Cruise and John Travolta are now both single again. Coincidence? I think NOT.

  • Osama Bin Bad-Ass Motherfucker

    No mentions of Scientology? Are our legal teams not strong enough?

    • http://www.celebjihad.com Durka Durka

      I said “continuous loud male grunting” what more of a reference to Scientology do you want?

      • DArkness BURN AL towel wearing terrorist

        what about what goes on in the back room at the mosque?

        • Hashim the destroyer of Evil

          Darkness in Brain, you Ulan Bator zoo ape sibling,

          Everything you say is useless, dumb or a disgrace.
          Stop verbally provoking us, pious Muslims.
          Our patience and tolerance has its limits, do you know? One of these days you’ll run into deep troubles.

  • DArkness BURN AL towel wearing terrorist

    Yet if Tom ever decided to step in shit and go in the muddle east you sand rats would flock to see him

  • Dick Hertz

    I wonder if Tom jumped up and down on a sofa when this was announced.

  • Dick Hertz

    Who gets custody of Katie’s Ben WA balls?

    • Kahlid

      Well, we all know that Homo HONG/CELEB FAN will get custody of all of Cruise’s male slaves.

  • ObserversDickisaFatwa

    It IS possible that Katie has simply grown tired of being ass-fucked whilst wearing the Eagle Scout uniform of the infidel American Boy Scouts…….

    • Hashim the destroyer of Evil

      Naked shemales that went into a boob job and a snatch prosthetic construction should be forbidden from posting in this holy site (or even being alive).

  • Queer Pete’s Boyfriend

    I can’t wait for me and Grand Drag Queen Pete to do a 3 way with Tommy again!

  • Big penis

    big penis

    • Wise Man

      Small Penis,

      Shut up

  • Abdullah The Butcher

    tom cruise is a blatant homoqueer and a midget

    • Grand Dragon Pete

      Ass eater Abby

      If anyone knows a midget it would be you….you see one every time you take a piss or butt fuck your muslim “buds” at the mosque.

      Sick homo

      KKK

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        drag queen

        I’m no midget expert but I do know a homoqueer when I see one and you are a homoqueer.

        • Grand Dragon Pete

          Bitch boy

          That big time “homoqueer” you see in the mirror every day is one ugly mofo with a midget penis.

          KKK

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            That ain’t no mirror asshole…that’s a pic of your daddy.

  • Zapatas army

    Who chingado cares about their pinche split-up? Dont they make enough money to keep their sex life going forever.Katie needs a little salsa in her white rice.

  • Dick Hertz

    Cruise also announced today that he, John Travolta and Rachel Maddow will be staring in the film version of “Two and A-Half Men.”

  • Zapatas army

    Now all she has looking forward to is a reality show.

  • Abdul Tun Dr Ishmail

    About time,Scientologists burn, ALLAH

  • Tecumseh

    Now all Tom has to do is convert to Islam, and he will be just like the rest of you stinky gay pride A-rabs

  • CELEBS FAN

    the owner of this stupid bitch fucking asshole site is really and idiot son of a bitch. when did they announced that they are getting a divorce??? dun spread lies to ppl. did islam ask u all to spread lies????

    • CELEBS FAN

      i mean the owner of this stupid website. typo error

      • Arcachnar

        Why do not you go and look it up? They are getting divorced. Period.

        • CELEBS FAN

          that was only today (US time)

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            celebs gay

            you masturbate by shoving a rolled up peoples magazine up your ass while looking at nude pics of bea arthur

  • Abdullah The Butcher

    Which one of them scionfagtologists is tom cruise?

    • Grand Dragon Pete

      Butt pounder Butcher

      I’m not sure which Tom, but I’ve heard that he has his eye on your brown eye.

      Open the poop chute….Tom is coming in.

      KKK

  • The Guy with the EyE

    Tome Cruise is a WIERD Mother fucker ..makes every one here look normal and dull i tell you what.

  • Arcachnar

    Thats great toms free maybe he will suck my oscar mayer.

    • Arcachnar

      @Faker/./Tyron/Pete You are a waste of oxygen. Stop being an impersonator and go way. You are big loser.