Tiger Woods Breaks Silence About Accident
It looks like Tiger Woods needs a new driver.
In an apologetic statement released today, Woods said that the accident he was in early Friday morning was his fault. Tiger then went on to make a startling confession.
I know there has been a lot of nasty rumors going around about me. Well as this accident plainly shows they are true. I am in fact half-asian, so I am a horrible driver.
Asians have long been known to be a scourge on our nation’s roads. For years Tiger Woods apologists have claimed that being half-black overpowered the horrible driving genes he got from his Asian mother. However after this recent incident we can see that unfortunately for Tiger this is not the case.
No word yet what other parts of Tiger are Asian, but according to sources close to the couple, Tiger and his wife have been fighting a lot recently. This will inevitably lead to further speculation that Tiger Woods is also Asian in the pants.
Tiger Woods’ serious car accident was so funny (guess wifey caught up with his lies). It was reported that Woods went for a drive after having a fight with wife Elin Nordegren over an alleged affair the golfer had with Rachel Uchitel prior to the accident. But what I’d really want to know, who exactly is Rachel Uchitel and is she Tiger Woods’ mistress??
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shut up, lidya
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all i can say is: HAHAHAHAHAHA! (REFERRING TO THE LAS PARAGRAPH)
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He has a small PEE PEE.
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The alledged mistress has lawyered up.
You know what’s really funny? A guy who can avoid hitting trees on any golf course, can not avoid hitting them with a 2 ton Escalade.
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After crashing his car into a tree and fire hydrant, Tiger Woods has now came out and said “Crash was my fault”
Thanks so much for clearing that up, I was under the impression that it was the trees fault.
Stupid Cunt.
Tiger Woods. Brilliant putter, not such a great driver.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball more than 200 meters.
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