Serious Repercussions For Taylor Swift And Her Fans

We here at Celeb Jihad vow that there will be serious repercussions for Taylor Swift if she dares to follow through on her threat of a lawsuit against us.
We have already reached out to the Iranian embassy to see about filing charges in Sharia Court against Taylor Swift for her egregious crimes against Islam and morality. Of course as everyone knows Sharia law is the one true law, and it trumps any sort of silly civil action Taylor Swift may take in an American court.
Furthermore, we pay good money for a special Internet filter to keep women, Jews, and homosexuals off our holy Muslim website. But in the past few days we have received such an influx of traffic from perverted Taylor Swift fans that it has overwhelmed our filter and interrupted service for dedicated Jihadists looking for the latest celebrity gossip.
So we demand that all Taylor Swift fans leave our site at once and never return! Taylor Swift’s fans are foul-mouthed and ill-mannered (much like their idol), and their taste in music and role models leave little doubt that they are beyond redemption. If Taylor Swift’s fans do not leave soon we will be left with no choice but to issue fatwas against each and everyone of them.
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