Selena Gomez Finally Pregnant

Selena Gomez pregnant



At 18 years old, Selena Gomez was always looked at as an “old maid” in the Mexican community for not having birthed at least one child. However, after years of perseverance having anonymous sex whenever she could get it, all that is about to change because Selena Gomez is pregnant!


Last night Selena was taken to the hospital complaining of headaches, nausea, and exceptionally smelly taco farts. After running some routine tests doctors determined that Selena Gomez is pregnant.


This is great news for the Gomez family as the baby is due to arrive around the time of the next lettuce harvest, and they could certainly use all the hands they can get. Selena Gomez’s mother, Consuela Gomez (who had Selena at 15 years of age) had this to say,


“I am extremely proudo of my little chalupa Selena for finally getting el prego. We hopeo that the baby is a boyo. Gracias!”


While speculation is rampant that Justin Bieber is the father of Selena’s baby we find that highly unlikely considering he is a homo and has tiny mouse balls. We’ll have more on this story as it develops.

 

  • Abdullah The Butcher

    Mexican girls are in a race with their biological clocks. They try and have their first baby, before getting their first mustache, which usually comes in when they are 11 or 12.

    Selena cheated. She has been waxing her upper lip for about 5 years.

    I hope the sneaky wet-back gets deported, before joe jonas jr. pops out.
    I’d also hate to see that kid. It will look like a vampire with a dirty sanchez.

    • Cool Story, bro

      Wow, you must really hate mexicans and americans. I just hope you don’t hate fillipino’s . Anyways, Cool Story, bro

  • theheadchimp

    I just read last week that Justine went home to meet her family. That included 17 brothers, 11 sisters, 49 cousins and her parents all in the back of a 57 chebby………

    • Jihad Shah

      I believe Selena may be birthing the baby of the Quran-loving Taco Bell owner she sold her self to for 50 chalupas. I would’ve only given her ten.

  • Westside willy

    I guess it is just easier to make fun of hot girls when you have absolutely no hope in getting one. And it sounds like someone is jelous about not being able to grow facial hair, don’t worry lil guy, puberty isn’t for everyone. You fucking tards are such pussy ass bitches that even little Bieber could whoop your ass, make fun all you want he actually gets pussy and could buy and sell your asses

    • theheadchimp

      Backdoor up the ass WIlly
      These two no talent lesbo dykes are why your society is so fucked up. What parent in their right mind would let their daughters watch such filth…..and assholes like you brag how rich he is. Get real you fucking moron, you sound like a 12 year old Belieber.

    • Noel

      If you are insinuating Arab men cannot get hot women then you are wrong. Arabs are the absolute most attractive ethnic group. I am a white female and I only date Arab men.

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        noel

        You have class and are a true lady.

        If any infidels call you a worthless, money grubbing whore, just let us jihadists know and we will slaughter them.

        ALLAHU AKBAR

  • .:.

    You do know this is a “Gag” site, so all of this are just “Gags”

    • Prophet Mohammed

      Homo

      The only thing that’s a gag around here is you, or I should say that is what you do best. The time for you homos is running out, but don’t choke on a cock quite yet, I still have plenty I want to ram down your throat, that being my shiny gold AK-47. I think you will find that it is perfect size.

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!

      • .:.

        War-Freak Much

  • this is the dumbest website ever

    selena’s dad is mexican not her mom

  • Osama Bin laden JR

    i am the father , i fuckd her last friday ,without a condom , i am great man

  • .:.

    It was just food poisoning
    She’s not pregnant

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      dumbass

      Food poisoning! What a crock.

      She had too much “man buritto” and now she’s as Allah would say…”big time prego.”

      • .:.

        Those are just rumors, she’s not prenant

  • itookashitonyourmother

    may all your mothers eat shit in hell …

    • theheadchimp

      Now now now……just because your mother is too old and std ridden to fuck shines for money anymore doesn’t mean you have to be so ignorant.

      • Lynne Vanity

        that is epic lmfao

  • ace

    she has more money than any of you asshole posting negative comments about her. LMAO!!!!

    • theheadchimp

      Acehole
      What the fuck does money have to do with anything? Its dumb assholes like you why this talentless wetback has money, or she’d still be picking lettuce out in California.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      ass pounder ace

      If that’s the case, she should spend some of it, and buy a set of tits and get that flat ass fixed.

  • regio

    God kill all Americans born in the usa. that would be fair. to tell lies and racist.

  • Way better than you

    If that is what Selena’s mom would have said it would be in Spanish and what you p

    • Way better than you

      If that is what Selena’s mom would have said it would be in Spanish and what you posted would not even pass as Spanglish. She would have said, “Estoy muy orgulloso de mi pequeña Selena para finalmente quedar embarazada. esperamos que el bebé es un niño. ¡Gracias!”
      DUH!!!!!!

  • FUCK U ALL

    god damn this is fake. you dont add o to the word boy to make it spanish god damn fakeres

  • hailsatan93

    you people are fucking retarded. you all need to crawl back to the aids infested twat you came out of.
    hail satan

  • dj

    Shame on Justin Bieber

  • Danny Wong

    I See this as Sexual Haressment

  • Not Racist

    You fucking muslims are racist! Stop sucking Osama Bin Laden’s tiny balls, and quivering for the ol’ Muhammad to squeeze your balls, and act like a normal person. Not a racist douchebag race that disgraces all races.

  • Not Racist

    You fucking muslims are racist! Stop sucking Osama Bin Laden’s tiny balls, and quivering for the ol’ Muhammad to squeeze your balls, and act like a normal person. Not a racist douchebag race that disgraces all races.

  • Lynne Vanity

    lmfao zing!