Selena Gomez Finally Pregnant
At 18 years old, Selena Gomez was always looked at as an “old maid” in the Mexican community for not having birthed at least one child. However, after years of perseverance having anonymous sex whenever she could get it, all that is about to change because Selena Gomez is pregnant!
Last night Selena was taken to the hospital complaining of headaches, nausea, and exceptionally smelly taco farts. After running some routine tests doctors determined that Selena Gomez is pregnant.
This is great news for the Gomez family as the baby is due to arrive around the time of the next lettuce harvest, and they could certainly use all the hands they can get. Selena Gomez’s mother, Consuela Gomez (who had Selena at 15 years of age) had this to say,
“I am extremely proudo of my little chalupa Selena for finally getting el prego. We hopeo that the baby is a boyo. Gracias!”
While speculation is rampant that Justin Bieber is the father of Selena’s baby we find that highly unlikely considering he is a homo and has tiny mouse balls. We’ll have more on this story as it develops.
Mexican girls are in a race with their biological clocks. They try and have their first baby, before getting their first mustache, which usually comes in when they are 11 or 12.
Selena cheated. She has been waxing her upper lip for about 5 years.
I hope the sneaky wet-back gets deported, before joe jonas jr. pops out.
I’d also hate to see that kid. It will look like a vampire with a dirty sanchez.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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Wow, you must really hate mexicans and americans. I just hope you don’t hate fillipino’s . Anyways, Cool Story, bro
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I just read last week that Justine went home to meet her family. That included 17 brothers, 11 sisters, 49 cousins and her parents all in the back of a 57 chebby………
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I believe Selena may be birthing the baby of the Quran-loving Taco Bell owner she sold her self to for 50 chalupas. I would’ve only given her ten.
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I guess it is just easier to make fun of hot girls when you have absolutely no hope in getting one. And it sounds like someone is jelous about not being able to grow facial hair, don’t worry lil guy, puberty isn’t for everyone. You fucking tards are such pussy ass bitches that even little Bieber could whoop your ass, make fun all you want he actually gets pussy and could buy and sell your asses
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Backdoor up the ass WIlly
These two no talent lesbo dykes are why your society is so fucked up. What parent in their right mind would let their daughters watch such filth…..and assholes like you brag how rich he is. Get real you fucking moron, you sound like a 12 year old Belieber.
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If you are insinuating Arab men cannot get hot women then you are wrong. Arabs are the absolute most attractive ethnic group. I am a white female and I only date Arab men.
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noel
You have class and are a true lady.
If any infidels call you a worthless, money grubbing whore, just let us jihadists know and we will slaughter them.
ALLAHU AKBAR
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You do know this is a “Gag” site, so all of this are just “Gags”
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Homo
The only thing that’s a gag around here is you, or I should say that is what you do best. The time for you homos is running out, but don’t choke on a cock quite yet, I still have plenty I want to ram down your throat, that being my shiny gold AK-47. I think you will find that it is perfect size.
ALLAHU AKBAR!!
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War-Freak Much
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selena’s dad is mexican not her mom
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i am the father , i fuckd her last friday ,without a condom , i am great man
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It was just food poisoning
She’s not pregnant
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dumbass
Food poisoning! What a crock.
She had too much “man buritto” and now she’s as Allah would say…”big time prego.”
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Those are just rumors, she’s not prenant
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may all your mothers eat shit in hell …
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Now now now……just because your mother is too old and std ridden to fuck shines for money anymore doesn’t mean you have to be so ignorant.
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she has more money than any of you asshole posting negative comments about her. LMAO!!!!
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Acehole
What the fuck does money have to do with anything? Its dumb assholes like you why this talentless wetback has money, or she’d still be picking lettuce out in California.
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ass pounder ace
If that’s the case, she should spend some of it, and buy a set of tits and get that flat ass fixed.
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God kill all Americans born in the usa. that would be fair. to tell lies and racist.
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