Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob At The Mall

Selena Gomez fans

Ever since we broke the story that Selena Gomez is a lesbian, teenage girls all over the country have been converting to the “dyke side”. This wave of newly transformed lesbians descended upon a mall were Selena Gomez was doing a Q&A (and probably some light fingering) for a radio station.

As soon as the cunt hungry mob got a whiff of Selena Gomez’s muff they were whipped into a feeding frenzy and charged towards the Disney star. Selena looked on and laughed as her fans were badly injured trampling over each other trying to get a piece of her sweet cherry pie. Police and firefighters had to be called in to control the mob and extract the wounded.

When asked for a comment about this horrific incident mall event coordinator Carol Barkley said “This is tragic. I haven’t seen this many lesbians go down on each other since I was invited to a party at Ellen’s.”