Selena Gomez Attacked By A Pack Of Wild Dykes

Tragedy was narrowly avoided earlier today when Selena Gomez was attacked by a roaming pack of cunt-hungry dykes.

The chilling scene was captured in the photo above. Selena was enjoying a leisurely stroll on the beach in Malibu with her latest lesbian lover. When all of a sudden a pack of dykes descended upon the Disney star, forcing her and her girlfriend to flee in terror. Luckily their was an indie girl band playing at a little cafe near the beach, and the pack of dykes were distracted by the music long enough for Selena to escape relatively unharmed but visibly shaken.

Authorities are still trying to figure our what set off this attack, but experts are already speculating that the wind at the beach must of carried a whiff of Selena’s snazz to the pack causing them to go into a feeding frenzy. A few members of the pack were shot and killed by hunters near the scene, but Malibu beach rangers are still suggesting that women stay away from the area or at the very least start a douching regime.