Robert Pattinson Is Pregnant
Twilight beauty Robert Pattinson is pregnant!
A month ago we received reports that the Twilight star was expecting his first child. Never one to take such serious news at face value Celeb Jihad sent our best investigative journalist to get to the bottom of this story.
OK OK maybe we just payed a bum $20 to go through Robert Pattinson’s garbage. The point is we investigated. Anyway, it is not what we found in his garbage that will shock you, but what we did not find (though some would say the sheer volume of empty lip gloss containers is a bit shocking).
After a month of going through Robert Pattinson’s garbage we found not one used tampon! This basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is preggers!
The identity of the father is still in question, but our sources tell us it is none othr than Robert’s Twilight co-star the devastatingly handsome Kristin Stewart. But it could just as easily be any of other Hollywood leading men that Robert has been romantically linked too.
No word yet if Robert Pattinson’s pregnancy will affect the filming of the 3rd Twilight film, “Twilight 3: Bella’s Backdoor Banging” which is set to start filming in January.
hahaha other rubbish about Robert got preg.. He is a man, he is not a woman.. hahah It mean to kristen stewart, humm , still not buy this story about Robert’s preg. I’m sure Robert and Kristen laugh real hard and ready pee their pants and fell on the floor real laugh so hard.. PFFFTT .. Please get your story get straighten out right..
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Why do queers with bedhead look better than MY bedhead?
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you need to get your story straight hes a guy. a sexy guy :)
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No, no. This was an ACTUAL rumor in an Austrailan rag mag.
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It’s meant to be a satire guys… you know, like haha they are making fun of all the media and twilight fans. It was a good laugh. A lot more accurate than all the other gossip.
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Ya’ll lighten up now. What difference does it make who writes what anymore. Rob and Kristen have been the brunt of some of the craziest bullshit reporting I have EVER read.
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I knew you guys would uncover the truth about Rob.
Thank you for your thorough, investigative report.
Truth at last.
Rob is just a little Ho.
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u idiots, first off rob is a BOY and kristen is a GIRL. wtf r u doin writin about him not using any tampons?? like anyone is gona believe this fukin story! u shitheads
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or get the story correct before u publish it. lol u guys r worthless
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Oh my god! Wow it’s shocking how being an obsessive little fangirl will literally block any shred of common sense one may have. This is obviously, so VERY VERY obvously meant to be a joke (and it’s very funny). Seriously, where are these “Twihards” getting educated? I know they’re 12 but you’d have to have inhaled a fucked up amount of gs to not get that this is a joke.
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geez, it’s a nice one here,, lol..
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u have got to be kidding me REALLY has the world gone crazy rob is not with child and rob is a BOy AND and yes kristen is a girl if u don’t got the truth then don’t write stories like this or u r just a plain retared idiot and and u know it….
XXOO-BREE
P.S. get sum help
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i agree this is crazy and where do they get people like u to write these stories (iDiOTs)
-sam :)
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I am a twilight fan and can not believe the absolutle dumb stupidity of some people…. and I am not talking about the writers of this amusing article. For crying out loud…. it is a joke, it isn’t even making a joke at Robert or Kirsten, it is taking the piss at the media that comes up with some wacked out story every 30 seconds about them. Seriously twihards, you are making the rest of us who enjoy the books, movies, characters and the actors who play them look like absolute idiots, so maybe you should not write in blogs if you are too young or stupid to grasp the concept of sarcasim.
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I woory about these dames with male genitalia. Dames like Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp, Val Kilmer and Leonardo DiCaprio. Anybody can just grab them in a studio backlot and rape them. Hey, CA is home of the liberal (Berkley) and gay (San Francisco) capitals. It’s possible.
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SHUT THE HECK UP PPL HES NOT PREGNANT KRISTEN/BELLA IS IN BREAKING DAWN GOD GUYS..
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