Robert Pattinson Blames Earthquake on Pact Haitians Made with Satan
Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson (pictured above) went on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s “700 Club” today, and shared some controversial thoughts as to why the earthquake struck Haiti:
“And you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it.
“They were under the heel of the French, uh, you know Napoleon the 3rd and whatever, and they got together and swore a pact to the Devil.
“They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’
“True story.
“And so the Devil said, ‘Okay, it’s a deal.’
“And, uh, they kicked the French out, you know, with Haitians revolted and got themselves free, but ever since they have been cursed”
Despite his rapid aging Robert Pattinson is finally starting to think with a clear head, and understand how the greatness that is Allah works. Allah is a vengeful God. If there is one thing he hates (besides American freedom) it is Haitians. Allah will not rest until every Haitian on earth suffers a horrible death. Praise be to his name!
I sure hope -Pat Robertson- isn’t a twilight hunk! The movie is frightening enough as it is…
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That’s his true vampire form, don’t you know?
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Anybody seen the “before” and “after” satelite pics on googleearth?
The “before” and “after” pictures of Haiti look the same…
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China is giving $1 million to Haiti relief.
India $1 million.
United States $100 million (tax payer money), $400 million (through private charitable Americans).
And we’re hated why?
This is everytime there’s a disaster. The United States is ALWAYS there, and NEVER asking for anything in return.
Why is the United States hated?
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If you want to understand the effect the earthquake had on the people of Haiti…
Try shaking a packet of Revels.
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Obama asks Bush 43 to help front Hatian relief effort. Apparently, Bush cares about black people. Kanye West: what does he know?
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In honor of the amputees in Haiti, Disney have announced that they will be taking their touring to the Hatians of their musical version of their hit film… “Happy Foot”.
It went well when Pixar & Disney took their show to cancer patients based on the hit animated movie… “Finding Chemo”.
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Yo, idk what’s going on but it seems like this website is f#@$% up! None of it is true, it’s all tabloid bs! I’m haitian and this is definitely not something they taught you in History class. Haitians also like to pass down stories and that was not one of them. So who ever is trying to find something to bring the haitian people down, well stop being haters and F#@$% OFF!!!
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I think you may possibly be a retarded
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if all haitian are as ugly as you ….then gooood fuckin riddens…to all of them
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I don’t get this, I guess they put Pat Robertson on their because its like Robert Pattinson backward, and shortened a little. I know all of this stuff is just fake and stuff,, but this one isn’t too funny.
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