Rihanna Risks Ultimate Beating
Less than one year after getting beat down by Chris Brown, Rihanna is dating again. Her choice? Somewhat curious considering it is a man who makes his living swinging a baseball bat – Dodgers slugger Matt Kemp.
Standing at 6’3, 230 pounds Kemp is equipped to throttle the obviously masochistic Rihanna in a way that she never imagined possible. Nicknamed “The Bison” for both his size, aggressiveness, and raw style of play, Kemp is capable of a Rihanna ass-whooping that would make Chris Brown’s handiwork look like a scraped knee in comparison.
While the relationship is still in the honeymoon period, it is only a matter of time until the man MLB scouts call “the NFL’s loss” gets sick of Rihanna refusing to shut her man pleaser and uses her for a little late-night batting practice. Below are a few photos of the pre-Rihanna Matt Kemp moments of rage:
Kemp practices a chokehold guaranteed to “shut that bitch up”
Kemp throws a rage-filled right hook while “blacking out and seeing red,” testimony he will draw upon in open court six-months from now
Kemp works on his “What the f*ck?!” face when the jury convicts him of aggravated assault in court
Kemp practices being restrained after beating Rihanna within an inch of her life
Kemp goes into “Beast Mode” (as his T-shirt states) and practices “blasting that bitch with a bottle of champagne”
Seriously? Just because a man is strong and aggressive on the baseball field doesn’t mean he’s abusive. It’s like you’re blaming Rihanna for her choice in men. In a year if he does beat her, you’ll just say “well what did she expect? He’s a baseball player!”
*rolleyes*
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This entire article is in extraordinarily poor taste. Domestic violence is not subject matter for humor. The author should be ashamed.
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Don’t worry, I’m sure he is. Moron.
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I LOVE CHRIS BROWN ;) LEAVE MY BABY ALONE
TEAM CHRIS BREEZY FOREVER AND FOREVER (:
MOVING ONN
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How about this….if you feel old enough to pass a lick, then be old enough to expect a lick!
You can’t go around hitting ANYBODY and not expect to get hit back. No I am not saying that Chris Brown was right, but neither was Rhianna. Keep your hands to your self!!!! Bottom Line
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I saw Matt Kemp at a Dodger once and he ‘hit’ a baseball, ‘backhanded’ a line drive and ‘stole’ a base. Not only is he violent, but he’s a crook too!
The Ultimate Homo strikes again!
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The problem is the emphasis on teaching boys not to hit girls. Children should be taught not to hit, period. Boy or girl. Regardless of societal acceptance, if you hit someone, expect to be hit back. Regardless of sex. When’s the last time you were slapped in the face? There is an immediate reflex to slap back.
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She will get her ass beat lulz
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what a ridiculous article. Matt Kemp is an amazing baseball player with incredible raw skills, but he is also reported to be one of the nicest guys on the field and off the field. What a stupid thing to write. It is crap like this that makes me feel bad for the attention celebrities get. Let them date in peace.
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Almost certainly there will be a drunken altercation after the ESPYs, the details of which will remain hazy, but will result in a 6 week suspension for Kemp during the crucial July/August stretch and will involve him reading tearfully from a prepared statement where he laments letting down “the fans, my teammates, my family and my god.”
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If he does beat the crap out of her, I hope he doesn’t use a bat… or his fists, like Chris Brown did.
No. Not at all.
I hope he uses an umbrella. THEN I’ll understand!
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Anyway, I thought Rihanna was reportedly dating Los Angeles Clippers point guard Baron Davis. He would be PERFECT. He’s on the Clippers, they don’t beat anybody.
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If he hit a girl his dad would kick is behind. She’s in no danger.
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This is entirely offensive and inappropriate. I don’t care about Rihanna, Chris Brown or this baseball dude but the physical abuse of anyone, man or woman, is nothing to joke about. So, if she happens to get beaten up again, we are just to say, “you had it coming”? WTF?
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i beat myself over her
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Rihanna has insisted that all umbrellas be confiscated from fans, in case they injure themselves trying to copy the dance to her song “Umbrella.” In a related story, Tool will stop playing ‘Aenima’ live.
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