Rachel Bilson Tries To Attract A Husband

Rachel Bilson

At 29 years old actress Rachel Bilson is in frantic search to find a husband.

Rachel Bilson thought she had a husband when she got engaged to actor Hayden Christensen, but the marriage never materialized. Rumor has it that there was a break down in the dowry negotiations between the clans over how many goat skins Rachel Bilson is worth (in my opinion it is 5, but that is only if she has maintained her maidenhead of course).

So now that Rachel Bilson is almost 30 and still unwed she is desperate to attract a husband before her ovaries dry up, and she becomes just another old Hollywood shrew like Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jennifer Aniston.

As you can see in the pictures below Rachel Bilson’s strategy for attracting a man is the same as all Western women. She is going to dress like a whore and then pretend to drop things and pick them up.

I guess if it works in the West then that is what Rachel has got to do, but in a civilized country like Iran Rachel Bilson would be more likely to find a rock to the face then a husband going about like this. I hope Rachel keeps that in mind if she ever hopes of landing a virile Muslim man.


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  • Fat Housewife

    These people have it all wrong. Dropping things and picking them up doesn’t get you any real attention. As a matter of fact, every time I tried it, everyone seemed to run away. My luck was in blind dating, because on a blind date they can’t leave until they get to know you. Rachel Bilson should give that a shot. I’m sure that, like all the great actresses and entertainers out there, she has a magnificent personality and more people would like her for her than for what she looks like bent over. I mean, how many times have you ever heard about a celebrity doing something mean? None! So they must all be nice, right? Yeah, Rachel should lean on her personality because that’s where celebrities are really great. What we see on television is just their bad side; I’ll bet they just wake up and haven’t even done their hair when they go on camera.

    • Reton Axwell

      Yeah, thats one point of view, but… do you know Axwin?

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        To the both of you
        Shut up, arrogant infidels, before you further contaminate this site with your filth. When Jihad is “no longer on TV, but in the streets outside, and coming in through the windows”, then and only then will you begin to understand the mistakes and corruption of your immoral western society. And Fat Housewife, back in Iran I know of a merchant who trades in burkas of all sizes and for an extra two dinars will even custom tailor one for you, so don’t think that your size is an adequate excuse for your decadent ways.


        • Fat Housewife

          You’re really unkind and way too impolite. Who’s to say I’m a “large” housewife? I can’t just be a “fat housewife” without being having my size ridiculed? I never said that I was huge and it’s very rude of you to assume that I’m some Rosie O’Donnell. I’m not even dyke-curious, I’ll have you know, let alone a whale like her.
          But for all your rudeness, you post more comments than anyone I’ve ever seen. Do you get paid or do you just really enjoy insulting people?

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            Reton, your name says it all. I will not waste my time here and anyway, I cannot speak googleese.
            Now I must deal with the next in this sadly long line (are the mental clinics closed today?): Fat Housewife. Just like Reton here, your name says it all. How can you admit that you are a bloated American, and then behave as if I am making ridiculous assumptions when I refer to you being large? Sometimes I wonder if these people are even WORTH a Jihad.

            As for my payment, and whether or not I enjoy insulting people, I can tell you that insulting the arrogant, socially incompetent and just generally brain-damaged (from drugs maybe?) infidels that can be found on this site is almost as enjoyable as the 72 virgins that I will recieve when I squeeze this detonator for the last time.

            ALLAHU AKBAR, and prepare for Jihad in the near future!

  • Reton Axwell

    fuckin terrorists these days….