Mila Kunis Is Back on the Market

Talk about buying low and selling high. Mila Kunis and her boyfriend of eight years, Macauley “Remember Me?” Culkin have split up, reports every gossip site on the internet.

The timing is conspicuous considering Kunis just recently starred in the critically acclaimed Black Swan, and subsequently, starred in every man and most women’s sexual fantasies.

Many believe the couple actually broke up a while ago, but kept it hidden so that Kunis wouldn’t be assaulted with personal questions during her Black Swan publicity tour. Probably a good idea. This frees up Kunis to date readers like you, so go brush your teeth and keep an eye out for her.

No word on this from Culkin’s camp, but the former child star is rumored to be home alone. (Count it!)

  • theheadchimp

    She’s telling Macauley with her hands that I met a real man with a penis this big…………….
    Macauley is telling himself that Mikey didn’t care if he was hung like a cashew.

  • Mushraf Islam

    Mila has obviously seen my penis

    • theheadchimp

      No I think Macauley has seen it by the look on his face.

    • Dr. Litton

      You have a penis? Oh, yeah. The one between your shoulders you mean?

      Admiral Akbar! (It’s a trap!)

  • theheadchimp

    Dr. LittleDick
    I see you are a penis expert, you get that from prowling glory holes?