Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with Satan’s baby



People Magazine is reporting that “Kim Kardashian is going to be an aunt,” which is a hilariously backhanded way of saying that her older sister Kourtney is expecting her first child.

What must it be like to play second fiddle to a girl who probably can’t spell “fiddle?”

If the child is a boy, Kourtney should name it “Fredo,” in honor of Fredo Corleone, Michael Corleone’s no-talent older brother in The Godfather. Kourtney is to Kim what Fredo is to Michael. It’s an analogy, people! Remember the SATs? Oh, never mind.

No word yet on who the father is, but we’re going to go out on a limb and say it’s Satan, Prince of Darkness. If you’ll remember, Satan fathered a few of Anna Nicole Smith’s kids before she decided to take a dirt nap. Here’s hoping it turns out better for Kourtney, I guess.

Note: We couldn’t fit both Kourtney’s face and chest into the picture, so we cropped out her head and placed it next to her chest. Pretty smart, huh?

 

  • P-Dogg

    *Yawn* Celebijah is only gettin more boring by time.

    • Jimmy Jihad

      Tell me about it.

      • a whitey

        it feels like they’re trying to go in a perez/tmz direction a little

  • wow

    wow atrocious news…anna nicole – dirt nap….. what a fucked up news site

    • Monika

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  • meow

    she is hot can you post more pics of her?

  • Sharon

    How writes this shit!!!!! You are talking about a helpless infant you dumb ass!!!!!!Grow a pair and pick on someone who can defend themselves, Freak!!!!!!

    • meow

      you make no sense bitch go suck a dick whore

  • kardashians are the scum of the earth

    I’ll be shocked if this baby turns out to be white.

  • Majik

    BieberFever101112nameefbbbfefbbbf is Kiki, and i was raped before i died. I use toefbbbfefbbbf enjoy painefbbbfefbbbf and now iefbbbf icnilftefbbbf itefbbbf upon people. I was tortured and rapedefbbbf untill iefbbbf couldefbbbf no longer breathe. Those meanies now suffer and die,efbbbf and thoseefbbbf who do not repost this to 5 videos will die too. i hate thisefbbbf 2 but i believeAt the strike ofefbbbf 12AM, thoseefbbbf whoefbbbf did not repost this willefbbbf die a horrible death after seeing a bloodyefbbbf face covered with long black hair. Thoseefbbbfefbbbf who repost thisefbbbf will get a kiss from theirefbbbf crush