Justin Bieber’s Tips for Surviving Puberty

Puberty is a difficult time for most teens. Acne, cracked voices, and strange new feelings can make life extremely awkward. But at the end of the day, puberty is simply your body’s way of growing from a child to an adult. Besides, it happens to everyone….even teen heartthrob Justin Bieber!

That’s right, even Justin faces the challenges associated with puberty. And he wants to let all his fans know that if he can get through it, so can you. That’s why Justin sat down with us to share his wisdom on the subject! So, without further ado, here are Justin Bieber’s tips for surviving puberty.

1. Your balls are gonna grow all big and shit, so make sure to buy yourself some bigger drawers, yo.

2. Your pits are gonna stink like my manager’s finger after one of our “coaching sessions.” So be sure to get some Axe for your pits.

3. If you start having a wet dream, ride that shit out. I had a wet dream with Usher in it and it was fantastic!

4. When dating a girl, the urge to explore her body is perfectly natural. I recommend using a hunting knife for exploring those hard to reach places, like the spleen.

5. It’s not a good idea to squeeze or pick at pimples. This practice only makes the acne worse. Try willing them away with the healing power of Kabalah.

6. Sometimes, for no reason, your penis will get hard. Just think about girls and it will go away.

7. During puberty, it’s important to develop your own look. Keep up with the latest fashions and hairstyles by checking magazines like Cosmo and Ranger Rick.

8. Girls who are on their periods should stay within an airtight container for the duration of their menstruation. Vampires can smell that shit a mile away.

9. A girl’s breasts will begin to develop generally between the ages of 8 and 11, so make sure to tap that ass before then. Titties be gross.

10. It’s completely normal to have homosexual thoughts during puberty…at least that’s what Nick Jonas told me during that unforgettable night in Orlando.

  • Lissa

    Ya right Justin bieber wud never say that shit .

    • 91846

      Sure he will! He pushed my daoghter down when she ran up to hug him. I kicked his balls and ran, fearing him and usher would catch me and rape me! … So I poisoned his food :3

  • Mamma Lee

    Oh my goodness, I can’t believe Justin would sink so low! And the mouth on him. Goodness gracious, who taught him to speak like that.

    Well, that’s it. I am going to instruct my girls to tear down the posters of him off their bedroom walls. This is NOT the type of example Mamma Lee wants teen pop stars to set for my girls.

    Once again, Mamma Lee said there’d be days like these but nobody listened. Now look what went and happened :(

  • Gash

    We all knew Justin was a homo but I certainly didn’t know he started puberty.

  • vonnea249

    jb will never say that crap

  • lol

    this site is crap. stop making lies

    • Sammy

      “Really Good” and “Justin Bieber” shouldn’t be in the same tsceenne, let alone a few exceptions such as: “Justin Bieber deserves a Really Good beating.”Anyways, what are you thinking? You can’t solicit people on the internet by asking them to write something that’s YOUR responsibility, or that you just want to have written. I.E. an essay, SONG LYRICS, etc. etc But if you REALLY want Justin Bieber-type lyrics, try:Oh, baby, I love youYou don’t love meI’m brokenI’m brokenOh, baby, baby, baby, ohI love youI love youYet I’ve got no conceptionOf what love really is Cuz I’m Just a BeaverYeah, Just a WeinerOh, baby

  • jb killer

    every word is so true yea!

  • Larry

    Ever since he did a header into that glass door, I’m starting to like the little fuck.

  • chris

    yeah, like he’s even started puberty.

  • Homer Simpson

    What will Lisa think when he goes through puberty! My little girl loves him!!!!!

  • merlin3000

    Don’t you have to go THROUGH puberty to give tips on how to survive???

  • Usher

    I didn’t finger fuck this little faggot! He lies! It was his dad, Richard Simmons.

  • Joe Jonas’s Girl

    Lol this articl is so funny. I know he wouln’t say those words I can’t stand him.

  • loub

    lol thats wassup

  • The smart ass boy

    Hahaha soooo true i love this gay ass faggot so funny!

  • 91846

    Justin Beiber is gay! Eeeeeewwwww! I don’t even want to think about what he does in his free time. Oh crap, I think I’m gonna hurl! BBllllllllleeeeeaaahhhh!