Justin Bieber has Sex with a Manatee



Pop sensation Justin Bieber has been caught up in a bizarre sex scandal involving a manatee, CelebJihad has confirmed. The singer was photographed off the coast of Florida earlier this month frolicking and ultimately fornicating with the rotund aquatic beast.

According to witnesses, the manatee approached Bieber while he was swimming alone after shooting a video near Miami. After some initial flirting, and a playful chase, the bulbous creature flipped onto its stomach and presented its gigantic backside to the singer, signaling him to penetrate. Bieber obliged, and mounted the animal. The entire exchange lasted about two minutes.

Known for their friendly nature and their large size, curious manatees have often been spotted approaching beach goers. However, this is the first known case of human/manatee copulation. The animal involved was particularity large and dimwitted, leading experts to speculate that it may been have suffering from mental retardation, which could have caused the inter-species confusion.

 

  • hro262

    ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  • Ali bin-Fuqrab

    *vomits*

    You vile westerners sicken me.

    • blakXrat

      actually man. whoever wrote this is wrong. Sailors lost at sea would often have sex with manatees and tell stories about sleeping with a “mermaid” and it wasn’t only western sailors it was pretty much all of them so thanks for bashing but look up your shit next time.

      • Ali bin-Fuqrab

        So you approve of this kuffar! As i said, you westerners sicken me and then try to cover yourselves by saying, “Everyone else did it too”. *BLEH

        • RighteousMuslimBro

          westerners are so disgusting.

    • Dead Ed®

      *[VOMITS LIKE NO-ONE EVER HAS]*

      You Islamo facist, Muslim Nazi (the word “Nazi” means: “national socialist”) radicals make me sick and I’ll tell you why:

      Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.

      Let’s see now:

      No beer, No bars, No radio, No television, No Playboy or Penthouse, No Teasers, No cricket, No rugby, No football, No basketball, No baseball, No golf, No dancing, No music, No bikinis on the beach, No nude beaches, No summer mini skirts and braless beauties, No barbecue pork, No Ham, No bacon, No hot dogs, No burgers, No lobster, shellfish, or even frozen seafood sticks, No Christmas.

      Rags for clothes and towels for hats, Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and there are no doctors, Constant wailing from the guy in the tower, You can’t shave, Your wife can’t shave, You can’t shave your wife, Sand is everywhere, Sand gets into everything, You wipe your backside with your left hand without toilet paper, You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.

      The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times, Your bride is picked by someone else, She smells just like your donkey, and your donkey has a better disposition.

      Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get the 27 virgins (or is it 72? I don’t know. They write and read backwards) and it all gets better!

      Nope…. no mystery here!!!

      Fatwa this ,|,, ,,|,

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        You don’t have to remain a miserable kuffar….. jealous of the wonderful Muslim way of life.
        Convert to Islam and you can have the same joyous lifestyle as all Muslims plus you will know ALLAH.

        However, if you decide to remain an infidel…know that you will eventually be killed by a dedicated soldier of ALLAH and your soul sent straight to hell!

        • RighteousMuslimBro

          That’s right!! Convert to Islam and you can have the same joyous gay lifestyle plus you will know ALLAH is gayest of them all. I can’t wait to meet the 72 gay virgins for me in paradise. Just thinking about it makes me horny :D

    • Richiee

      dude seriously? get your terrorist, allah worshipping, dune coon, sand nigger ass outta here.

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        Imperialist homoqueer infdel!

        How dare you speak to a Muslim using that disrespectful tone. Have you not been taught how to correctly communicate with your superiors? I guess not you useless dope head nintendo addict.

        And….you were the one that invaded this web site and began to hurl insults. For that you have earned the fatwa….which means that wherever your miserable kuffar ass may be hiding….the sons of Allah will be ready to send you straight to hell in a very painful way.

        Think about that you son of a drunken prostitute!

        ALLAHU AKBAR

        • nate

          Hahahhaha!! I love the manatee joke!! :) lol but muslims plees.. Why u so uptight lifes too short 2 argue.. Especially if ur a suicide bomber.. ( So u guys should know).. But I don blame u for being so agro.. The workplace must be hell for you.. Not so much job security as a suicide bomber..( When u get promoted do u fall 2 pieces… Hahhahahah). Don’t say shit against the west.. While u crunch down on some macdonalds, drinking a coke , and watching western porn.. Haaahaha..

  • Fat Housewife

    Justin B00ber is a girl, and would not penetrate a manatee. Now you guys are just making stuff up. Does anyone but me realize that when Kidz Bop covered B00ber’s song “Baby” they, being four years or more younger than B00ber, sang the song LOWER than her. I wish Lady Gaga would come out as a man already so that Justin B00ber would come out as a girl. I don’t think anyone would care except for B00ber’s tween audience, and because Justin is such a legitimate talent with broad appeal to all ages, coming out as a girl wouldn’t cause a significant problem, right?
    Oh, I hope that wasn’t too bad. I was trying to be brutal but I’m probably not very good at it. At any rate I express my discontent at the complete impossibility of this article, and to boot my boys would like the bikini-wearing manatee’s phone number if anyone has it

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Fat housewife
      Have you not heard of the disgusting sex device known as the “strap on cock”?
      It is used by female kuffar homoqueers to satisfy their degenerate lust for same sex boinking.
      Justin used this strap on device when she tricked this poor near sighted sea animal into the most degenerate of all known sex acts: Homoqueer bestiality. Yes, Justin engaged in homoqueer sex with a female from a different species.

      This is a new low for infidels and is clear evidence that the U.S.A. needs to become a Muslim nation before it falls into utter destruction.

      Please be more aware of the facts before making any future criticism….this website only posts the truth…..and anything other than the truth would never be posted on this site.
      ALLAHU AKBAR

      • Fat Housewife

        Okay, thanks for letting me know that. I have to ask, though. If Muslims avoid such things as this “strap on cock”, which I’ve never heard of in 42 years living in the south (and 5 years in Canada, where can be found any degree of stereotypes and oddities), how do you guys all know so much about them?
        P.S. Thanks to whoever sent me the manatee’s phone number; my two eldest boys are hunting her down as we speak and I made them promise not to come back without wives and grandchildren

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          Fat Housewife
          We have hired several Las Vegas prostitutes to provide us with such information. It is a shame we have to use such whores, but we are in a fight against the sexual deviates of the world, and that requires unorthodox measures.
          Considering the number of drunken homoqueer whores in Canada, I’m surprised you have never heard of said artificial dong.
          ALLAHU AKBAR

          • Fat Housewife

            In Canada it’s not like America at all. The drunken homoqueers tend to keep to themselves and live private lives of iniquity. Here for some reason they enjoy homoqueering in public and getting their pictures taken and published for it. I’ll never understand, but I must admit ice cream is much better here due to the climate being much less humid and much warmer. It really kills the joy of ice cream when right out your door is a big pile of fog at the same temperature that you could be eating instead for no calories.

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            Canada sounds like a hellish place; a perfect new home for the land stealing Zionists.

  • Dead Ed™

    Looks like they’re re-enacting the Paki Flood.

    In down town Pakistan born and raised,
    In a mud hut is where I spent most of my days,
    Chillin’ out, maxin’, scrapping for food,
    And shooting up Infidels outside of the school,
    When a couple of clouds, that were up to no good,
    Started soaking everything in my neighbourhood,
    We had one big flood but nobody cared,
    So we’re all movin’ to England where we get free health care!

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      What are you….a lonely kuffar reject who is desperate to be noticed?
      Your generally obscene and mindless comments are quickly dooming you to an eternity in hell.
      Do not think you can escape the justice of the mujahideen…it will happen sooner than you realize.
      Think about that infidel and know your time is running out!
      ALLAHU AKBAR

  • i love you

    justin NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • i love you

    jb let me..be your gf please

    • Joe Jonas’s Girl

      He won’t become your girlfriend.

  • Dead Ed®

    This arouses you?

    • RighteousMuslimBro

      Of course, does it not you?

  • mrs.bieber

    WHAT THE FUCKK this is not truee! this was for a photo shoot..that boy is fucking innocent, and he just loves kim kardashian *inthephoto above* soo he got to take pics with her…and hes a virgin! and also a really religouse christain! i am muslim……but im a HUGE blieber! and i know alot about justin!! and i know this is fucking fake! and most of the info on this web is fake justin will not call christains `lame-o-rama` cuz hes christain! so some fucking stupid head is making this shit up and writing it..and getting ppl to belive it……..well i dont cuz im a TRUE blieber sooo i always know the truth! but this webssite needs to gett there fucing facts staite..thank u veryy much! and dont jusge my grammer im not in language class BITCH

    • Abdullah the Butcher

      From your erratic and confused post I can only assume that you are a drunken whore high on Zionist crazy pills.
      You are not worth the effort to correct, and I will only say that I look forward to the day, when I can stone your infidel ass.

      ALLAHU AKBAR

      • Dar al-Harb

        Word!

  • Fuck mussies

    Fuck all u stupid fuckin mussies!!!!!!!! Now I know why our bad Ass armies are over there beating the fuckin shit out of all you alaha belivin motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Wretched infidel

      While your armies are over there, we are over here.
      It is only a matter of time before the mother of all Jihads is turned loose on America.
      When that happens many kuffar will be sent to hell and many will be made slaves.
      I look forward to your submission to Allah!

      • Fuck mussies

        Fuck allah dawg!!!!!!!!!! You and your musslum shit can lick my fuckin balls u prick!!!!!!!!!!

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          Have you no shame homoqueer infidel?
          Homosexuality is a sin and you have sealed your fate by your rampant immorality.
          Soon America will know the Sharia and you will be brought to justice.
          Think about that ghetto kuffar….soon you will be roasting in hell with the rest of your infidel homies.

          • Fuck mussies

            Dude fuck off!!!!!! Do u even really belive in all tht shit!!!!!??????

          • RighteousMuslimBro

            indeed, it’s is clearly written, homosexuality is a sin to all, except for true Muslims like Abdullah and myself.

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            RighteousMuslimBro

            I believe you have spent too much time amongst the kuffars…..I advise you to return to the Islamic state of your birth and recharge your Muslimism.

          • RighteousMuslimBro

            I do not know what you mean brother Abdullah. I am a righteous Muslim like you. Anyway, we must not fight amongst ourselves. These infidels need to be taught!!

            ALLAHU AKBAR

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            I agree…there are many infidel necks to chop!
            ALLAHU AKBAR

      • Fuck mussies

        Oh hahahaaha I see…….. ur too pussy to reply!!!!!!

  • wrong

    now i no why you muslims hate america because your jealous that we have amazing technology you could only dream of and that we have freedom in our land and yours is made up of sand stop talking about jihad we could could just drop a nuke over your pathetic country and watch it turn to glass take hiroshima as a lesson, and btw 1 in 10 people are gay so theres gay muslimsss ahahahhaha ! and uhh there is no such thing as a manatee there not real but you would know that if you didn’t live in a cave also your so obsessed with our celebrates get your fucking own wankersss !

    • Fuck mussies

      I agree with wrong 100%!!!!!!!!!

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      What is this homoqueer day?

      Wrong… you are a most despicable kuffar and while you are too stupid to realize the punishment your perverse comments will bring to you….you will soon drop to your knees before the soldiers of Allah.
      Islam does not put up with homoqueer sex…..so you had better enjoy your fanny banditry for now….because when the Caliphate is instituted we shall stone all homoqueers!

      ALL PRAISE TO ALLAH

      • Fuck mussies

        Ok…….. While your stonin my ass god and all of my countries nukes will be blowin all of u stupid ass motherfuckers to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soo u can have fun while your ass is fukin boiling into pure red mist!!!!!!!!! Just like wat is gonna happen to all u stupid terrorist motherfuckers and our fuckin bombs will turnyou and your friends and your “brothers” and wife and kids into a fine flesh powder bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!

        All HAIL THE US AND WESTERN IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          You are delusional kuffar.

          Islam gives us moral superiority…..you degenerate infidels have nothing but your immoral homoqueer society. We in the east have been preparing centuries for Jihad and now that your drunken American culture has hit rock bottom….it is time for the Muslim to wipe your ungodly presence from the Earth.
          Continue to make us laugh homoqueers with your empty threats.
          The time of your destruction is close.

          • Fuck mussies

            Ok think wat u want faget………… But when u bitches make your move u can be sure tht a wrath of hell will be unleashed on u and your country…….. Remember those words………. U all will regret your existance

            ALL HAIL THE US AND WESTERN IDEAS!!!!!!!!

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            The U.S. is the great Satan and western ideals are heretical.
            You ignorant homoqueer Americans need to accept the coming reality of the Caliphate.
            Remember this vile dog…..the Prophet has prepared the way and the infidel shall perish from the Earth.
            Your miserable nation of prostitutes, drunks,drug addicts, thieves, blasphemers, and homoqueers is about to end.
            ALLAHU AKBAR

          • Fuck mussies

            Say wat u want

    • Bob

      No such thing as manatees?

      • RighteousMuslimBro

        Ignorant westerners don’t even know your own language

  • Abdullah The Butcher

    Pay no attention to this character calling himself wrong. He is a prepubescent special ed homoqueer and he is ignorant as the day is long.
    Unless it involves degenerate homoqueer sex acts he knows nothing on any other subject.

    • wrong

      me your website is made up of shit ! its not my fault your a closet case (that means yur gay and to scared to admit it because your a muslim thats what is great about america we have money power culture) we dot go on abut the end of the world because jihad aint real love to see the look on your face when nothing happens !

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        If you want your filthy insults to be understood, at least stop having homoqueer sex long enough to type your words.
        There will come the day kuffar when you will beg for a quick death!

  • Muslim Shit

    FUCK THE MUSLIM A-HOLES!!!
    WE ARE WESTERN!!!!! U ARE DUMN THINGS
    I FUCKED ALLAH YESTERDAY!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

    • Mohommad

      FUCK THE MUSLIM A-HOLES!!!
      WE ARE WESTERN!!!!! U ARE DUMN THINGS
      I FUCKED ALLAH YESTERDAY!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

      That grammar’s so shitty, I think I’m gonna puke.

  • Mike

    What is wrong with you people. It’s gonna be funny when you continue fighting each other in hell.

  • the truth

    ok everybody settle down, Allah is God, Jesus is the most quoted prophet in the Quran, manatees do in fact exist, Justin Beiber is a prepubescent female and you’ll all go to hell for your blasphemy. You people are terrible examples of muslims and are just perpetuating a jihad loving terrorist stereotype. And as for you kentucky fried rednecks youre saying fuck you to the same God and principles that you observe in the bible. Thats all I have to say, im gonna go back to watching the guys who have no right to call themselves muslim argue with the inbred trash who are condemning them in the first place. Praise Jesus and all the prophets (pbut) and hopefully you guys will wipe each other out so the rest of us no longer have to tolerate this inane word vomit.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      You—–Infidel calling yourself the truth.

      Mind your own business you wretched kuffar.
      You know nothing of what it means to be Muslim or of our holy war against the scum of the Earth infidels.
      In the coming new order, we shall seek out vermin such as yourself and end your godless state of misery.
      ALLAHU AKBAR

  • hahahah.

    Why do the commenters take this shit so seriously? LMFAO again.

  • Mohommad

    This is why infidels must die! Vile westerners!

  • justinbieberisgross

    kim is out of his legue. anyone who’s female is out of justin’s legue since he’s such a fagotted little boy! gross! anyone who fancies justin queefer is a lesbian! don’t you guys know that he is secretly hiding a hairy vagina under those boxers! see the fucking light! he’s a girl! he’s such a fag!

    p.s. this is probably a publicity stunt. plus, since justin is a woman, he should start dating men! freaky little fag/dyke………………………..
    0_o

  • Israel Shalom

    Ha! Compared to what goes on in Arab hotels, having sex with a manatee is lightweight…

    There’s such a difference between what Muslims claim to believe and their actual practices you’d think they were Christians…..or Jews….

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      More lies from the land stealing Zionists!

      A Muslim holds true to the Qur’an and would never violate the special relationship he has with ALLAH.
      Your day will come kuffar….and I will laugh as Satan welcomes you to hell!

  • Israel Shalom

    Too often I’ve stood behind Muslim friends who were buy Seagram’s 7 at the market, and later bragging about bagging the girls at the massage parlors down the road…..there is as much hypocrisy in Islam as in any religion…..

    Kuffarooo…..relax and allow your bowels to move more easily.

    Rabb Issa is ruh Allah…the very word, the very spirit of God. But the Quran does not acknowledge who He really is….

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      You fill me with rage infidel!

      Do not speak the name of ALLAH with your filthy tongue!
      The brothers of Islam are everywhere and we do find unholy blasphemers and heretics on a daily basis.
      Why do you think so many kuffar just vanish?
      I am taking my truck straight to the rock pile today and loading up on several tons of throwing stones.
      I cannot wait until Extreme Jihad begins……there will not be an infidel left without a knot on his noggin from a Muslim stone thrower.
      Keep insulting Islam and see how long your head remains unstoned!

      Death To America
      Death To Israel

      ALLAHU AKBAR

  • Israel Shalom

    In the West, if we wish to be stoned, we eat some hashish butter, and get over ourselves. So save your gas, both truck and oral on your silliness. Save it for Zionists….do not let my screen name here confuse you.

    Oh death, death, death. And you wonder why people call Islam a death cult. Just stop….enough is enough, and you know that already…..how much land has screaming Allah Akbar saved in Al Quds?

    Shalom and salaam brother…..

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Zionist impersonator!

      Do not think the network of Jihadists around the world are just sitting around watching corrupt infidel TV shows like “Gossip Girl and Sponge Bob.” No, we are actively planning the destruction of all infidels.
      It does not matter in the big picture if you are Zionist or run of the mill infidel. We have to kill all non-Muslims. We just get an extra thrill when we send a Zionist to hell…..but in the end…all kuffars must go.

      Your cool attitude does not fool me. You are full of fear now that you know that Jihadists are actively looking for you!
      Enjoy what time you have left degenerate western kuffar.

  • Israel Shalom

    That’s why we want your Muslims butts back in the sand where you belong, eating camel shit and having sex with donkeys. Maybe your Imam can straighten your confused self out.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      You are the confused nut case that needs straightened out.

      As for eating camel shit and donkey sex…that is forbidden by Islam….the true religion.
      This is why we Muslims will control the Earth—we have the superior morals—unlike you degenerate westerners who think it is fine to be a drunken, drug using homoqueer.

      We are not leaving America…..we are taking over America. This must bring you great fear, because you know it is only a matter of time before you meet your first Jihadist…. face to face.

      On that day kuffar, I doubt you will have many insults.

  • Joe Jonas’s Girl

    How could he have s*x with a manatee? The author needs to do another article of Justin. This article needs to make fun of Justin more. I hate Justin. Keep making fun of him and Miley Cyrus, Salena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift. But stop making fun of the Jonas Brothers.

  • Matiu Blair

    If I had the power to shutdown an utterly ludicris blog like this – i would x 1000. You think its mighty funny… really unbeleivable – I’m ashamed to call myself a homosapien – I thought time progression was about evolving an’ forming new ideas an’ understanding where we as humans came from – as I mentioned a few days ago – I’ve never read so much trash as I have on the pages of this ridiculous site. Maybe the Mayan calendar will show us the way to a new dawn – something beyond the space time continuum – the planets realign, the sun goes out because we’re sucked into a massive black hole. But I guess we learn from our mistakes, right? 20 days to go, people – make the most of it while you can…