Justin Bieber, Alan Thicke Defecate on American Flag After Canadian Hockey Win

Everyone knows that Canadians are crazy about hockey. But native canuks Justin Bieber and Alan Thicke took their devotion to a disgusting extreme on Sunday night, defecating on an American flag after Canada’s overtime victory in the Olympic gold-medal game.

Bieber and Thicke, both obviously intoxicated, were watching the game at The Canadian Tuxedo, a hip nightclub that caters to the burgeoning Canadian immigrant community in Los Angeles. Things turned ugly by halftime as the two, with the help of fellow Canadians Rick Moranis and Ryan Gosling, pummeled an elderly man who was wearing a Team USA jersey, sending him to the hospital with a broken pelvis.

With bouncers unable or unwilling to rein in the pair, the scene quickly escalated. When the Americans tied the game with only seconds left, an enraged Thicke threw his glass of Seagram’s V.O. Canadian Whisky at a flat-screen TV as Bieber proceeded to vomit poutine on a nearby table occupied by a group of college girls. When the girls complained, Bieber lashed out, calling the women “a bunch of skags who belong at the Canadian Ballet,” a reference to Windsor area strip clubs.

When Canada finally secured an overtime win, Bieber and Thicke took to the streets breaking store windows and lighting cars on fire. It was at this point that the nimble Bieber scampered up a nearby flagpole and tore down the Stars and Stripes. Giddy with laughter, the two took turns urinating and defecating on the flag before friends finally convinced the pair it was time to leave.

Neither Thicke nor Bieber were available for comment.

  • a whitey

    Why aren’t we making a bigger deal out of this?? this should be all over the news!! I want someone to attack there credibility with the fierceness and fervor of nancy grace but with the true justness of judge judy. someone needs to take these guys down a peg. they live and work here, they can’t do that

    • Really?

      wow ur so stupid this site is a joke, dont u no????? lol, get a life

      • a whitey

        son i been a celebjihadist since you were a cum stain in your mommas panties.

  • Mikayla

    THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED! Justin Bieber was at a Lakers game yesterday when the Canidians won…it was on his twitter…

  • Terrence and Phillip

    T: Yeah right on guy, o Caaanado
    P: Yeah Justins the man ey? What are the americans gonna do ABOOT it?
    T: Nothing friend
    P: Im not your friend guy
    T: I’m not your guy ey
    Eric Catman: AAARGH shut the fuck up ugay canadian ASSHOLES! Jesus fucking christ!!!

  • Shamus

    The way I know this is fake is that there’s no halftime of a hockey game. The credibility of this article is totally gone!

    • JimmyJIhad

      Good catch!