Joe Jonas Definitely Not Gay

Joe Jonas gay

We here at Celeb Jihad have received a lot of flack from smart mouthed teen girls with low self-esteem and even lower spelling skills, ever since we suggested that singer, actor, and all around fancy boy Joe Jonas might be gay or at the very least play for both teams.

Well as if to say “hey you nasty boys at Celeb Jihad I am soooo straight and love women parts” Joe Jonas squeezed into some short shorts and went on a man-date to go buy smoothies.

It takes a big man to admit when you are wrong, so let me be the first to apologize to Joe Jonas and his fans for ever suggesting he was a gay. I now see how awesomely straight he is, and am convinced that after him and his male companion finished off their smoothies they went and sexed a boat load of women. There is no way in hell that they went back to Joe’s place and had a tickle fight, blew each other, then fed each other fresh strawberries out on the lanai.

  • Evie

    I don’t care which way he is; he’s adorable. To whom in their right mind (I know that might not be you or many of the tweenies) does it EVEN MATTER?

    What is the fixation on “short shorts”, btw? What are people supposed to wear in warm places, to work out? I don’t get it.

  • daniele

    FUCK U!
    joe is the most amazing person in the whole entire world and u say he’s GAY?

    • plato

      What’s so wrong with being gay? So he takes it in the dumper and loves the smell of hot mansack while he gets tea bagged. So what, he’s still a tween idol right? It not like chugging cock and getting it balls deep in his brown eye is gonna affect his singing, look at that Justin B. kid. As long as he remembers to floss out the butt hairs from eating guy-ass before he hits the stage he’s set.

  • NutzzinBallzzz

    Get this in your head’s ladies, you’ll never ever get within a hair’s reach to sleepin’ or even touchin’ him….ha…tough luck, but it’s the truth;\

  • noya

    Just another site using the Jonas Brothers to spread homophobia and woman-hating.

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  • Fer

    Was that sarcasm?….. Funny lmao!

  • belle

    This is hilarious and I love you for this. He’s ridiculously gay. And I don’t care, but you know, closets are no fun at all

  • PiFF

    hahahaha ..tickle fight.. There is no reason a man should wear shorts four inches above his knee.. unless he is gaaaay of course…

  • Joick forever!

    If you’d ever paid ANY attention to the Jonas Brothers in interviews or on stage you would be well aware of the fact that Joe is ridiculously in love with his younger brother, Nick. They share a hotel room while on tour and every single night they have wonderfully hot underage incestuous gay sex. And I, for one, completely support them in this. ;) Sex tape, please!

  • M

    While I agree the shorts are too short, that’s his personal trainer, Joey Rubino, you can see him in other pics of him after work outs as well.

    Wearing shorter shorts doesn’t necessarily mean he’s gay, I mean I know straight men who wear them as well. I believe he is metro however, wearing those shorts since longer ones would make his short legs look even shorter!

  • sasha

    The shorts are wayyyyyyyy to short for a dude and theres nothing wrong with being gay :)

  • Michael

    He can’t be gay. No self respecting gay man would wear those shoes to the gym. They do kind of look like ballet shoes though.

  • Kari

    Pretty much NO fangirl or boy is ever getting close to him whether he’s straight or gay. That’s exactly why it DOESN’T MATTER. Fantasize away, ladies & gents.

  • Hahahahalaugh97

    Hahaha omg i know this site is a joke but honestly the story sounds real. I can tottally imagine this happening xD just the line ‘they fed eachother fresh strawberries in the lani’ had me in a hysterical fit of tears

  • lila

    idk if hes gay or not.. but just to point out that isnt his boyfriend haha. thats his personal trainer. duhh. they were running (which shows why hes wearing shorts.) Now, they got smoothies after, big deal. and can i just say those arent gay shoes either. they are shoes for like going green (recycle)

  • sara

    joe is amazing, regardless if he was gay or not. but the fact is HE ISNT

    thats his personal trainer. and obviously, he had just finished training.

    HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?! just cause you’re not as amazing as the jonas brothers, dont take it on him :)

    and you probably only want him to be gay, cause you fancy him.

  • Rebecca

    He isn’t gay. Wearing shorts doesn’t mean he’s gay. He would never become gay.

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