Jessica Simpson Still Really Fat

Jessica Simpson fat

We have just received some breaking news coming off the AP wire, singer and actress Jessica Simpson is still really fat. This should ease the mind of millions of Americans who were no doubt wondering if Jessica Simpson was still a wide load.

Being from the Middle East I can appreciate a really fat woman like Jessica Simpson. Fat women are useful because they are hearty and in times of hardship they can continue to plow the fields feasting on their own fatty tissue for energy. Also in times of extreme hardship they can be roasted on a spit, and provide essential protein for the males of the clan.

Jessica Simpson is certainly stocking up on her fat reserves. Either she expects this to be a long harsh winter or she fears a double dip recession, because she is being extremely mindful to only eat foods with a high caloric content and to live a sedentary life style.

I applaud Jessica Simpson for getting really fat in these difficult times. If things take a turn for the worse Jessica will be able to sustain thousands of lives with her bloated fatty carcass. Allahu Akbar!

  • Fat Housewife

    Wow, I never knew I was that well-equipped for that many things. I’m going to show this to my doctor, who says that my ice cream and chocolate consumption is hazardous to my health or something. And if he doesn’t like it then I’ll go to Afghanistan for my next doctor appointment

  • Abdullah The Butcher

    I would not let this rotund infidel anywhere near my livestock!

  • theheadchimp

    Somebody can tell Captain Ahab we know where Moby Dick is.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      I’d say she’s heard many a bro say, “there she blows!”

  • Jenny

    you are a bunch of STUPID people. So what she gained weight, she is so beautiful !!!!!!! AND YOU, ARE STUPID, I WOULD BURN A QUARAN IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE EATING BACON!!!!!!!! HOW’S THAT YOU LAME TURD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are soooooooooooooo mean and guess what????????? ALL MUSLIMS ARE GONNA GO TO HELL unless they acknowledge Jesus is Lord, and Jesus is the Son of God.

    • Abdullah The Butcher


      You crazy whore!!!!!!!!!!

      First….fat women are ugly as fuck!
      There is nothing beautiful about belly rolls, double or triple chins, and cottage cheese thighs….and lets not even discuss huge….camel sized asses!
      You stupid kuffar bitches have decided to tell each other the lie that fat is ok….just so you can eat like pigs and get super-sized!
      Well….your lie has failed……fat is disgusting!

      As for Muslims going to hell.
      OMA…. (that means, Oh my Allah)

      That was even stupider than your “fat is beautiful” retard comment.

      Listen drunken prostitute…..Jesus was at best a second rate prophet….and a third rate exorcist. It was that crazy drunk Paul who tried to make him into a “god”… get yourself educated before you run that mouth. And another thing jizz bucket….what gives you the idea you can even try and tell a Muslim….a true man of God anything?
      I’ll tell you….drugs and alcohol….they have left you crazy.

      Get your act together prostitute while there is time….when Jihad comes to your town…the stones will be flying in your direction.

      Death To America

  • Jenny

    all people who wears them funny clothes like them women wear and the men that wear the turbans on their heads are TERRORIST!!!!!!!!! stay outta my country you TERRORIST!!!!! i think America should ban all muslims!!!!!!!! and all Americans who have converted to Islam should go be de brainwashed. Cuz Islam is a LIE and BIG LIE. There IS only one God , and allah is NOT HIM. NOT AT ALL !!!!!! My best friend is a American Muslim and it makes me very sad.

  • Jenny

    and who are YOU, YOU MUSLIM PIG, to be talking about an AMERICAN that way????????? Go talk about your own people. they have enough problems. LEAVE US AMERICANS ALONE. Osama (Yo daddy mama) Bin Laden wears one of them turbans… HE is your leader you terrorist freaks!!!!!! Go get em tiger!!!!!! I’m surprised you even KNOW english, you are probably using a transelator….

    • Abdullah The Butcher


      You must be a google or a wigger. Your fucked up word usage is the smoking gun.
      I bet you have a huge ass and wear big hoop ear rings.
      Yep….you must be a sight as you work your favorite corner trying to pick up diseased infidels for $5.00 blow jobs. You are a classy bitch……..NOT.

      Take notice……….It is the Muslims who will soon own America….so you had better make a decision: Stay and be killed or leave and be killed.

      The choice is yours whore…..become bear food in America or Lion food someplace else.

  • Jayne

    Wow, the world is shallow. She is a beautiful person and she isn’t screwing up her life like other celebrities. Is this the best you can do? All you have written about is her weight, like anyone cares. I f they do care then they probably have nothing better to do. Oh, and lastly, what happened to religious tolerance?

    • Abdullah The Butcher


      This fat bitch is a mental train wreck and the reason she hasn’t fucked it up worse is because she’s too busy hitting the “Golden Corral” 12 hours a day.

      As for religious tolerance. That is a western concept made famous by you filthy polytheistic christians. Religion by it’s definition cannot tolerate other religions. You cannot believe in the true God Allah and tolerate heretics.
      Just like you Jane….you’re a whore….you cannot also be pure. You are one or the other.

      So take your stupid ass opinions and your big western mouth and come to Iraq or go to Afghanistan. We will educate you in how to be a proper woman.

      I have just the perfect burka for you to wear….it’s black.

      • Jayne

        You’re probably more of a whore than I am, I have never been a whore in any sense of the word. I am a proper woman, in my country. If I went to yours, all I would need is a burka and forget about trying to be equal to a man, then I would fit in easily. Also, you’re sharing your opinions. No, it is not truth, but if you think it is, then that’s your business. Jeez, you have issues. I suggest Prozac.

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          shut up whore…..I do not listen to infidels

  • Lyza

    I get what you’re trying to do.

    Fat, brown, and bitter at those west of Africa.

    Go back home, terrorist.
    I get it and everything. This is your life…worrying about other people and their lives.

    Blogging about people you’ll never be able to put your tiny little brown pecker in.

    At least you’ve reached at least one of your goals — pissing people off on the internet.
    When someone gets mad at you, then you get to type out your cutting (yet frothy) comebacks and feel like you’re just hilarious for a day!

    So, props.

    Let us know when you reach your other goal of growing your nasty ass beard out down to your toes.
    Or achieving a genetic miracle and having a little baby girl with your favorite goat that you fuck routinely!


    • Lyza


      I’ve read some of your other posts…(maybe it was one of the other guys)…

      and I change my mind. Fucking hilarioius.

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        I see you are a devil possessed schizophrenic……but that only makes me want to stone you that much more!

        Your kuffar tongue has went too far…..prepare for your doom.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      The devil speaks through you crazy whore….get yourself an exorcism and then put on a burka.

      • Lyza

        Did you really think the last one was necessary…after what, staring at the screen for 17 minutes?

        Umm, I mean..ouch. That hurt. =(

        My burka is at the cleaners. Back off.

        • Abdullah The Butcher


          The truth is always necessary.
          And your weak attempt at sarcasm only reveals your desperation to be taken seriously; but alas….that will not happen here.
          Women are only good for 2 things: popping out Jihadists and manual labor.
          The opinions of women are like camel farts; they have no substance but at the same time… they remind you that something shitty just happened.

          As long as you are an infidel….you will be on the Jihadist hit list. Convert to Islam and wear the is your only hope for happiness in this world and salvation in the next.

          The choice is yours prostitute!

          ALLAHU AKBAR

          Change your ways and

          • Lyza

            This is the WORST tech support extension I have ever been transferred to.

            Not only is it your accent, but I especially cannot understand you through your superfluous insults.

            I think it’s time for new material.

            Go back home and stop crying over people who throw up in their mouths at the mere sight of you.

            All hail Allah.

          • Lyza

            …”desperate for attention seeking…”…oh, that makes sense.

        • Abdullah The Butcher


          You are the one that is used to throwing up…. you skanky alcoholic. And don’t get too uppity….whores like you are a dime a truck load in the degenerate west.

          As for my insults…they are 100% Allah approved….especially for putting stupid infidel crackheads in their place.

          Face facts cunt……You had might as well submit….your worthless female opinions have no meaning here. So go back to nagging some infidel, who is too spineless to punch you in the mouth when you make idiotic comments, and leave the condemnations of celebrities to real men (i.e. Muslims).

          Suck on that infidel bee-atch!

          I hope you overdose at the meth clinic.

          ALLAHU AKBAR

          • Lyza

            My opinions obviously do matter…to you. That is why you continue to take the time to respond to what I have to say.
            You have so clearly analyzed all that I have to say, flip-flopping every rebuttal against me.
            So calm down. Get over it.
            Your humor is rightly appreciated in regard to your postings…
            However, your attacks are so excessively alike…it’s retarded.
            Your ability to amuse, outside of satirical stories about celebrities, is painfully vapid.
            Simply instructing me to read every single defense you’ve expressed to anyone opposing your thoughts would have sufficed.

            Uppity. I like that word.

          • Abdullah The Butcher


            Go on and lyza down and take it up the rear.
            That’s about all you would be good for….you desperate for attention seeking crockadillapig.

            And just because I insult the fuck out of you doesn’t mean I give a damn about your stupid ass opinions……on any thing….what are you 12?

            “I matter….because the big bad Muslim calls me a stupid sperm dumpster…yay!”

            Yea bitch….you matter……just keep telling yourself that….especially while some dumb fucker unloads his jizz between your eyes.

            Now go and pick the scabs out of your worn out cooch before you take on your next “customer”….that might even get you a tip.

            ALLAHU AKBAR

  • Nichole

    What in the Hell is going on with her these days? First she abandons what could’ve been a great pop star career to sing country for whatever reason then she’s been packing on the pounds which by the way does not look good on her whatsoever. I mean, she’s a cute girl and I loved hearing her music..I just don’t get why she’s doing all she’s doing…seems a bit weird to me.

  • roflmao

    Why aren’t driver’s ed and sex ed taught on the same day in the middle east?
    The camels would get too tired.

  • Lyza

    Aww, big boy disabled the “reply” option.
    I replied on something else.
    Look at it! Look at it! Puh puh puh pleeeease!
    This was fun.

    YEEWWWVE been served!

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Lyza……. on her back a lot

      Stupid kuffar

      I do not control the reply mechanism…that is performed by some automatic function…It auto detects stupid bitches… and cuts them off after so many of their useless blah, blah, blah’s.
      You certainly fall into this situation.

      I laugh at your anxiety at being ignored……it further reinforces my diagnosis of your quite evident mental condition: stupid ass dependent prostitute syndrome.

      I urge you to go to your local mental health center and ask for the biggest quack there and see if that kuffar will help you………in the area of assisted suicide!

      If no one there is interested in your extermination..go to plan “B”
      Find the nearest train tracks and jump in front of the first “Iron Camel” you see approaching.

      Have a shitty day ignorant infidel whore!

      • Lyza

        Quit your bitchin’, dude.

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          ah…the werebitch of London returns!

  • Reton Axwell

    Hey I agree with most of the stuff u were saying but about westerners, maybe just a few of us are actually ok.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Reton Axwell

      Convert and join the Jihad.

  • nhngnggf

    Most men like a little cushin for the pushin. You can’t get your cock up ona woman like sarah jessica parker.

    • IHateCelebs

      your analogy would work better if you compared Jessica to another woman, but Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse, obviously. A female horse, but still…

  • i hate victoria justice

    eww she got ugly