Jessica Simpson Is Totally Not Fat

Jessica Simpson fat

Breaking News! Jessica Simpson is totally not fat!

Jessica Simpson (the enormous dark blue blob in the picture above) appeared at the launch party for Dove’s new line of chocolates yesterday. Representatives for Dove were confused at first considering this was a corporate event and Jessica Simpson was not invited. An event spokesperson had this to say,

“She just sort of showed up. We felt bad because she was all dressed up, so we let her stay. She was very enthused about the chocolate.”

In fact Jessica Simpson was so enthused that she single-handedly finished off the numerous samples which were supposed to be for investors and the press. Someone then broke into Dove’s warehouse next door and stole the first national shipment of chocolate, setting back Dove’s planned market release date over a month.

A lot of people have been fingering Jessica for the crime, because they say she is “overweight”. However, I find that racist and extremely offensive. Jessica Simpson is not fat! Sure her body looks like the Michelin Man’s… and her double chin looks like it is about to give to a triplet… and her arms are flabby and they undulate when she moves them… wait were was I going with this?

Oh yeah, Jessica Simpson is not fat! So there!

  • Aeva

    just because she doesn’t starve herself like most celebs now a days doesn’t mean she’s fat. Chances are she’s slimmer than whoever wrote this article.

  • scarlett

    I have a DD chest. Like Jessica my body is in proportion to that. I am not fat as i have boobs and i like that. Leave Jessica alone girls are always jealous of girls with big boobs.

  • Jabbar ibn Husayn al-Mutrah

    I disagree with the person who wrote this article. She is extremely fat. Anyone with a body type like hers, like the person above this post, should concider slimfast or maybe actually having a somewhat active lifestyle.

  • bigd

    shes fat her career is over shes just an airhead the reason she got famous it was bcuz she was hot not fat.

  • not you

    She’s definitely not fat. She’s a beautiful woman. She’s not super skinny, she’s not overweight, she’s pretty much the perfect size, leave her ALONE!

  • dannyoui

    Get Real Shes ” FAT “


    hello! she is super huge. what happened to that hot bod in 2005? she gained like 80lbs in only 5 years. lets also not forget she never brushes her teeth! too much chicken of the sea can be a bad thing.

  • srh

    80 lbs? really? now that we’ve established you’re a complete moron, let’s move on…

    Fat? Take a look at the average person in your country – THAT is fat. Jessica Simpson? Not so much. You only notice her more because she doesn’t look like an emaciated stick like most of the women in Hollywood. Kudos to her for being one of the few real women in that industry, and not apologizing for it. You people need to take your heads out of your asses and stop letting Hollywood’s standards dictate your own. She’s a beautiful woman and if you can’t appreciate that, there are millions of other people who will. Move on.