Jay Leno to Bang Conon O’Brien’s Wife

In an effort to boost sagging ratings, Jay Leno will bang Conan O’Brien’s wife when his show returns to the 11:30 pm time slot after the Winter Olympics. NBC executives have confirmed that Leno will bang Elizabeth Powell, O’Brien’s wife of over seven years and the mother of his two children, for a half hour. After the initial 30 minutes, O’Brien will then step in to finish her off.

Jeff Gaspin, chairman of NBC Universal Television, told reporters that the move was designed to keep both stars at NBC.

“My goal right now is to keep Jay and Conan as part of our late-night lineup,” Gaspin said. “And I really think this will help accomplish my goal.”

Added Gaspin, “This is a good idea.”

Gaspin added that while Jimmy Fallon will not participate, he will be allowed to masturbate in the corner provided he does not start until 1:05 am.

  • jimmy t

    thats sooooooooooo funny hahahahahaha

  • Dead Ed™


    I know true stories don’t belong on CelebJihad, but this had to be shared:

    You got to love this guy.

    This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

    It was in the local newspaper and even JAY LENO mentioned it.

    It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

    After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.

    He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

    He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

    As a token of his deep appreciation, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

    So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

    He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

    Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

    The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

    After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, “Fuck you!” Then he turned to his bride and said, “Fuck you!”

    Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, “I’m outta here.”

    He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

    While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

    His revenge — making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

    This guy has balls the size of church bells.

    Do you think we might get a MasterCard “priceless” commercial out of this?

    Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

    Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000.

    Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500.

    The look on everyone’s face when they see the 8×10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

    There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MASTERCARD.

    • no

      That story is fake, and you are stupid.

    • RoRo

      300 guests on a budget of $32,000? Who catered this wedding, McDonald’s?

    • Taty

      Actually, Prince did play a pink paisley guaitr during the Around The World In A Day tour I recall seeing a video with the song America, I believe, where he used such a guaitr Anyway, very much like Carlos Santana and a little Jimi Hendrix Prince has always rejected comparisons to Hendrix, saying he was always trying to emulate Santana’s cleaner, sharper licks as opposed to Hendrix’s more muddy, grungey style. Anyway, great video and I wish he had given me that guaitr!

  • Dead Ed™

    My girlfriend said that I am becoming obsessed with CelebJihad.

    I didn’t like that, so I showed her my dislike of her comment with a thumbs down.

  • Jason Misson

    hi i always watched jay at the tonight show i kinda grew up with him i do like conon alot to but things change alot they are both funny so moving him back to that slot thats ok to