Exclusive Twilight New Moon Photos
CelebJihad has just received these exclusive Twilight New Moon promotional photos, and we could not wait to share them with our fellow “Twihards”. Since no one has seen the movie yet, and I am probably the biggest Twihard in the world I will be providing captions for each photo describing what is going on in the scene pictured.
Angry that her Dad missed her ballet recital when she was 7, Bella seeks out the town’s black man and his “low hanging fruit” for comfort.
In the movie’s only scat scene. Edward smears feces on Bella’s face.
Bella is badly injured after trying to redecorate a gay man’s condo.
The cast relaxing before the movie’s big orgy scene.
After a night of drinking Mad Dog 20/20 Bella gives Jacob a handjob in his truck.
Bella farts in a crowded movie theater.
Bella about to be gang banged by a group of shirtless Mexicans.
Jacob flirts with Bella to make his crush Edward jealous.
Bella’s friend explains to her the joys of anal love making.
Bella’s dad gives her a picture of his balls and a 1st edition copy of the classic novel “Lolita” for her sweet 16th birthday.
whoever wrote these captions ina deuch. f off and get a life.
Hot debate. What do you think?
6 
16
Whomever wrote these captions is brilliant!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
18 
5
WHOEVER WROTE THE CAPTIONS BETTER FUCK OFF!
Hot debate. What do you think?
7 
14
For reals! They better fuck off or these Twihardons will get angry and upset due to their poor reading comprehension!
Like or Dislike:
6 
4
For those of you that get upset about the captions… GET A LIFE! there is more to the world that Twilight and Edwards sparking skin.
Like or Dislike:
6 
5
WHOEVER WROTE THE CAPTIONS BETTER FUCK THE TWILIGHT CAST
Like or Dislike:
8 
4
The next person to complain about the captions, sucks my cock.
Like or Dislike:
8 
4
I love Twilight, but that shit is hillarious!!! Come on people, get a sense of humor!
Like or Dislike:
7 
2
The captions are a WIN! I’m a fan of Twilight, but I LOVE to make fun of it, too!
Like or Dislike:
8 
2
These captions made my day! Hilarious!
Like or Dislike:
4 
3
Bella needs a good banging.
Like or Dislike:
4 
2
Twilight re-write #4668:
“I know what you are, you’re pale white and ice cold”
“Say it.”
“Michael Jackson?”
Like or Dislike:
1 
3
Whoever wrote this, you are a GENIUS!! Gosh I LOVE YOU! You seriously made my day. I woke up to find this article everywhere on the Twi Sites and found myself laughing. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!! xoxo
Like or Dislike:
3 
0
I KNOW RIGHT AND I LOVE JACOB XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
OMG JACOB IS SO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU JACOB ALSO MY SISTER LOVES JACOB AND EWARD I LOVE YOU JACOB FUNNY CAPTENS I LOVE JACOB YOU ARE SO SEXY YOU HERE THAT YOU ARE SO SEXY
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Am back again!! Just wanted a good laugh again. MY ULTIMATE FAVE of this is the one with the “group of shirtless Mexicans”. That is just classic! HAHA. Did I mention that whoever wrote this is a genius? Well, I’m saying it again! Boy you are a GENIUS! I am a mature fan of Twilight but I have a sense of humor so I find this highly amusing. =D xoxo
P.S. Will you please make more of these? Thank you!
Like or Dislike:
2 
0
jacob is the most sexyest man earth
Like or Dislike:
0 
0