Exclusive Twilight New Moon Photos

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Twilight New Moon



CelebJihad has just received these exclusive Twilight New Moon promotional photos, and we could not wait to share them with our fellow “Twihards”. Since no one has seen the movie yet, and I am probably the biggest Twihard in the world I will be providing captions for each photo describing what is going on in the scene pictured.

 



Twilight New Moon
Angry that her Dad missed her ballet recital when she was 7, Bella seeks out the town’s black man and his “low hanging fruit” for comfort.



Twilight New Moon
In the movie’s only scat scene. Edward smears feces on Bella’s face.



Twilight New Moon
Bella is badly injured after trying to redecorate a gay man’s condo.



Twilight New Moon
The cast relaxing before the movie’s big orgy scene.



Twilight New Moon
After a night of drinking Mad Dog 20/20 Bella gives Jacob a handjob in his truck.



Twilight New Moon
Bella farts in a crowded movie theater.



Twilight New Moon
Bella about to be gang banged by a group of shirtless Mexicans.



Twilight New Moon
Jacob flirts with Bella to make his crush Edward jealous.



Twilight New Moon
Bella’s friend explains to her the joys of anal love making.



Twilight New Moon
Bella’s dad gives her a picture of his balls and a 1st edition copy of the classic novel “Lolita” for her sweet 16th birthday.

 

Comments

Add a comment 16 Responses to “Exclusive Twilight New Moon Photos”
  1. Sam says:

    whoever wrote these captions ina deuch. f off and get a life.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 5 Thumb down 15

  2. Rosie Palmer says:

    Whomever wrote these captions is brilliant!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 5

  3. jacobfan#1 says:

    WHOEVER WROTE THE CAPTIONS BETTER FUCK OFF!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 13

  4. OhNoes says:

    For reals! They better fuck off or these Twihardons will get angry and upset due to their poor reading comprehension!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4

  5. logical one says:

    For those of you that get upset about the captions… GET A LIFE! there is more to the world that Twilight and Edwards sparking skin.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 5

  6. Twilightisterrible says:

    WHOEVER WROTE THE CAPTIONS BETTER FUCK THE TWILIGHT CAST

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4

  7. Dead Ed says:

    The next person to complain about the captions, sucks my cock.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 4

  8. Liz says:

    I love Twilight, but that shit is hillarious!!! Come on people, get a sense of humor!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

  9. Mik says:

    The captions are a WIN! I’m a fan of Twilight, but I LOVE to make fun of it, too!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 2

  10. Rob says:

    These captions made my day! Hilarious!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3

  11. Hafiendo Hashinksi says:

    Bella needs a good banging.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

  12. Dead Edâ„¢ says:

    Twilight re-write #4668:
    “I know what you are, you’re pale white and ice cold”
    “Say it.”
    “Michael Jackson?”

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3

  13. AlyssaAshley says:

    Whoever wrote this, you are a GENIUS!! Gosh I LOVE YOU! You seriously made my day. I woke up to find this article everywhere on the Twi Sites and found myself laughing. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!! xoxo

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  14. NICOLE says:

    OMG JACOB IS SO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU JACOB ALSO MY SISTER LOVES JACOB AND EWARD I LOVE YOU JACOB FUNNY CAPTENS I LOVE JACOB YOU ARE SO SEXY YOU HERE THAT YOU ARE SO SEXY

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  15. AlyssaAshley says:

    Am back again!! Just wanted a good laugh again. MY ULTIMATE FAVE of this is the one with the “group of shirtless Mexicans”. That is just classic! HAHA. Did I mention that whoever wrote this is a genius? Well, I’m saying it again! Boy you are a GENIUS! I am a mature fan of Twilight but I have a sense of humor so I find this highly amusing. =D xoxo

    P.S. Will you please make more of these? Thank you!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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