Dead Michael Jackson Jokes
I do not know what would be more appropriate right now then jokes about Michael Jackson dying. If you have any to add do so in the comments section.
- Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.
- Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.
- Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.
- In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
- In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.
- Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.
- I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.
- Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.
- Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.
- MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.
- It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.
- In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.
- Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.
- Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.
- Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
- Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.
- Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!
- Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”
- What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!
- Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.
wow cha is a dumb ass
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wow idk, your momma is a whore
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mj sucked my dick i hate him!
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mj sucked my dick i hate that dumass
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MJ was such a fucking waste of life i am as well as most of the owrk dhappy as hell he has moved on to a more appropriate place(HELL) where he deserves to be. FUCK MJ like he fucked them kids
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I think who ever said these smart ass comments should be prosicuted for the nasty smart ass bull shit talk about some one if your putting the bullshit out there about someone you are no better than anyone else you suck yourself
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fuck all u bitches that say anything bad about MJ … u all are just a bunch of badmind mother fuckers and the person or fag that wrote those jokes about MJ ha! the jokes on u cuz they were so funny i forgot to laugh!!!!
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Jackson, a good musician that turned out to be better at being a kiddy fiddler and getting away with it.
Glad that so many loyal fans are so happy at being betrayed by the selfish guy that managed to wimp out and loss his life.
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All these are nonesense, rubbish, you don,t make fun of the dead period.
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hahahaha
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you guys are honestly sick to the bone!!!
what the fuck did MJ ever do to upset ya’ll?????????????????/
nothing all he ever did was heal the world & make it a better place
he’s twice thw ma you are all ever gonna be.
just let him rest in peace. think about his kids
would you like it if your dad died and everyone was calling him names???
or if you died you wouldn’t like it would u???
no so just lay the hell off him
all of you go to hell and burn
love you michael 4ever and always
-Miley xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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He was a fucking diaper sniper. He got off easy
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michael was 100% innocent the only reason he paid so much 4 his innocence is because lisa marie presley told him 2 he was proven innocent in 2005 on this bullshit he was the best person 2 ever live he is definitly in heaven these jokes can burn in hell along with all u damn dumb asses who think he molested children he jus liked them alot it kills me 2 think some people remember him dis way so MICHAEL,THANK U 4 EVERYTHING U MADE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GOD BLESS U U WILL 4EVER LIVE IN MY SOLE AND IN MY HEART AS THE KING OF POP AND THE BEST ENTERTAINER AND HUMAN BEING THANK U 4 TRYING 2 MAKE DA WORLD A BETTER PLACE AND SOME PEOPLE JUS COULDN’T SEE IT BUT ALL THE PEOPLE WITH A RIGHT MIND SEE U 4 WHO U REALLY WHERE THE BEST ALLTIME GREATEST PESON EVER THANK U 4 CARING SO MUCH MAY U CONTINUE 2 HAVE THE BEST AFTERLIFE EVER I LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!!! King Of Pop suporters.
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LMAO HE’LL LIVE IN UR SOLE???? what size shoe you wear??
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funny i really hope u burn in hell man these jakes r so fucking childish god jusFUCK ALL MJ HATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the writer of them jokes u jus earned urself a one way ticket 2 hell funny u ain’t funny at all u need 2 change that name 2 dumb ass queer that would fit good get a life and stop buming on the king of pop.
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???
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First off let me say, that I didn’t feel like this was appropriate to post in the MJ RIP thread, and I hope that the Mods keep this open. People are pouring their hearts out, and reading what many folks here on CJ are saying about MJ is really touching. I’m going to post a transcript that I found from the “Living with Michael Jackson” where MJ was interviewed by Martin Bashir. The transcript is where Bashir asks MJ about sharing his bedroom with children. Before I go any further, I just want to say that I am a HUGE fan of his music. There will never EVER be anyone who comes close to making the type of impact he did on the whole landscape of the music industry. I can definitely appreciate his music, but I am a little confused as to what to make of him as a man. Most of my feelings come from his relationship with children. It’s no secret MJ had a horrible upbringing, but there is NO excuse IMO for his actions. As much as I blame MJ, a lot of the fault has to fall on the shoulders of the parents who would trust this man unattended with their kids in the first place. No one knows what actually went down behind closed doors, but after reading this transcript I couldn’t help but to . My feelings on the man since he has passed are virtually the same as when he was alive. I’m not insensitive, but the underlying issue of what his relationship was with kids etc overshadows a lot of who he was as a whole. The transcript and a picture of MJ w. “Gavin” is going to be posted below….again, please….let’s have a mature discussion on this. The RIP thread is filled with great photos, videos, and rememberances of the man…I want to let that be, and not take away from that thread or what others have to say. If you can honestly have an OBJECTIVE discussion, please chime in. “Living with Michael Jackson” Excerpts from the programme transcript (from ITV.com) On Jackson’s habit of sharing his bedroom with children: Martin Bashir: “When you are talking about children we met Gavin – and it was a great privilege to meet Gavin because he’s had a lot of suffering in his life – when Gavin was there he talked about the fact that he shares your bedroom?” Jackson: “Yes.” Bashir: “Can you understand why people would worry about that?” Jackson: “Because they are ignorant.” Bashir: “But is it really appropriate for a 44-year-old man to share a bedroom with a child that is not related to him at all?” Jackson: “That’s a beautiful thing.” Bashir: “That’s not a worrying thing?” Jackson: “Why should that be worrying, what’s the criminal…who’s Jack the Ripper in the room? There’s some guy trying to heal a healing child … I’m in a sleeping bag on the floor. “I gave him the bed because he has a brother named Star, so him and Star took the bed and I went along on the sleeping bag.” Bashir: “Did you ever sleep in the bed with them?” Jackson: “No. But I have slept in a bed with many children. “I slept in a bed with all of them when Macauley Culkin was little: Kieran Culkin would sleep on this side, Macauley Culkin was on this side, his sisters in there…we all would just jam in the bed, you know. “We would wake up like dawn and go in the hot air balloon, you know, we had the footage. I have all that footage.” Bashir: “But is that right Michael?” Jackson: “It’s very right. It’s very loving, that’s what the world needs now, more love more heart.” Bashir: “The world needs a man who’s 44 who’s sleeping in a bed with children?” Jackson: “No, you’re making it – no, no you’re making it all wrong …” Bashir: “Well, tell me, help me …” Jackson: “Because what’s wrong with sharing a love? You don’t sleep with your kids? Or some other kid who needs love who didn’t have a good childhood?” Bashir: “No, no I don’t. I would never dream …” Jackson: “That’s because you’ve never been where I’ve been mentally …” Bashir: “What do you think people would say if I said well – ‘I’ve invited some of my daughter’s friends round or my son’s friends round and they are going to sleep in a bed with me tonight’? Jackson: “That’s fine!” Bashir: “What do you think their parents would say?” Jackson: “If they’re wacky they would say ‘You can’t', but if you’re close family, like your family, and you know them well and …” Bashir: “But Michael, I wouldn’t like my children to sleep in anybody else’s bed.” Jackson: “Well, I wouldn’t mind if I knew the person well. I am very close to Barry Gibb – Paris and Prince can stay with him anytime; my children sleep with other people all the time. Bashir: “And you’re happy with that?” Jackson: “Fine with it. They’re honest, they are sweet people. They are not Jack the Ripper.” — Speaking to Gavin: Bashir: “What is it, Gavin, about Michael that makes him connect so well with children? What is it?” Gavin: “Because he’s really a child at heart. He acts just like a child, he knows how a child is, he knows what a child thinks”. “See, because I think that you don’t necessarily have to be a child just because society says that 18 and up you have to be an adult. Doesn’t really matter. You’re an adult when you want to be one.” (snip) Bashir: “When you stay here, do you stay in the house? Does Michael let you enjoy the whole premises?” Gavin: “There was one night, I asked him if I could stay in his bedroom. He let me stay in the bedroom.” “And I was like, ‘Michael you can sleep in the bed’, and he was like ‘No, no, you sleep on the bed’, and I was like ‘No, no, no, you sleep on the bed’, and then he said ‘Look, if you love me, you’ll sleep in the bed’. I was like ‘Oh mannnn?” so I finally slept on the bed.” “But it was fun that night.” Jackson: “I slept on the floor. [to Gavin] Was it a sleeping bag?” Gavin: “You packed the whole mess of blankets on the floor.” Bashir: “But Michael, you’re a 44-year-old man now, what do you get out of this?” Gavin: “He ain’t 44, he’s 4!” Jackson: “Yeah, I’m 4. I love, I feel, I think what they get from me, I get from them. I’ve said it many times, my greatest inspiration comes from kids. Every song I write, every dance I do, all the poetry I write, is all inspired from the level of innocence.” “That consciousness of purity. And children have that. I see God in the face of children. And man, I just love being around that all the time.” Bashir: “But when people hear that children from other families have come and they’ve stayed in your house, they’ve stayed in your bedroom ..?” Jackson: “Very few.” Bashir: “Well, you know, but some have, and they say, is that really appropriate for a man – for a grown man – to be doing that? How do you respond to that?” Jackson: “I feel sorry for them because that’s judging someone who just wants to really help people.” “Why can’t you share your bed? The most loving thing to do, is to share your bed with someone.” Bashir: “You really think that?” Jackson: “Yahhh. Of course.” Gavin: “You are taking the position that you use every single night that you sleep and you’re sharing it with another …” Jackson: “You’re saying you can have my bed if you want, sleep in it. I’ll sleep on the floor. It’s yours. Always give the best to the company, you know. Like to him. Because he was going to sleep on the floor and I said ‘No, you sleep in the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor.’” Bashir: “But haven’t you got a spare room or a spare house here where he could have stayed?” Jackson: “No.. yes, we have guest units, but whenever kids come here they always want to stay with me, they never want to stay in the guest rooms.” “And I have never invited them into my room, they always just wanna stay with me. They say, ‘Can I stay with you tonight?’, so I go ‘If it’s OK with your parents then yes you can’.” Bashir: “Were your parents happy that you were here with Michael?” Gavin: “Yeah, well, my ma was very, very, very happy. And I know they’re happy, because I’m happy.” Bashir: “Did they come with you?” Gavin: “Most of the time I wasn’t busy with my parents, I was mainly with Michael.” Bashir: “But they were happy that you were here? Jackson: “Yeah.” — (snip) Jackson: “I’m just very sensitive to their pain and I am very sensitive to the family, the human condition, you know. “On that subject, it means a lot to me and I want to help. Whatever I can to help that you know, it’s like I said before and I’ll say it a million times, I’m not afraid to say it.” “If there were no children on this earth, if someone announced all kids were dead, I would jump off the balcony immediately, I’m done, I’m done.” — On allegations of molesting 13-year-old Jordy Chandler, which Jackson has always denied, He paid the boy’s parents 18 million to drop a civil case against him: Bashir: “I suppose the problem for many people is what happened in 1993, or what didn’t happen?” Jackson: “What ‘didn’t happen’?” Bashir: “Just cast your mind back, what was that like when you first heard the allegations that were being made against you?” Jackson: “It was shocking and I’m not allowed to talk about this by way of law, so …” Bashir: “But how did you feel about what was being said? I’m not asking you to talk about what was said.” Jackson: “I was shocked because, um, God knows, in my heart how much I adore children.” Bashir: “Isn’t that precisely the problem, that when you actually invite children into your bed you never know what is going to happen?” Jackson: “When you say bed, you’re thinking sexual, they make that sexual, it’s not sexual.” “We’re going to sleep, I tuck them in and I put a little like, er, music on and when it’s story time I read a book.” “We go to sleep with the fireplace on. I give them hot milk, you know, we have cookies, it’s very charming, it’s very sweet, it’s what the whole world should do.” Bashir: “The reason that has been given for why you didn’t go to jail is because, because you reached a financial settlement with the family?” Jackson: “Yeah, I didn’t want to do a long drawn-out thing on TV like OJ, and all that stupid stuff, you know, it wouldn’t look right. I said, look, get this over with. I want to go on with my life. This is ridiculous, I’ve had enough, go.”
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THANK U FOR PUTTIN THIS ON HERE. EVERY TIME THAT COME ON I WATCH OVER N OVER N CRY EVERY TIME.
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Oh shit, these are hilarious. Who would’ve known that the best Michael Jackson jokes would come afetr his death. Haha!
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yall act so imature. i hope yall younger then me. yall assholes really. have some dame respect. now yall know he aint touch dat lyin ass boy. his parents froce him to say that for money. they were tired of bein broke. Michael even said he crys all the time becuase off all of this madness. he gon now n stop actin like lil ass kids. real shit. im only 14 n yes i have a potty mouth but im tired of all this stuff. plus he has skin diease n he a lucuse. so leave poor , now dead man alone.i listen to him since i was 2. how would yall like if MJ said someting about yall. hahaha yall would be mad as hell…..
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basterds! this is a load full of shit
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I swear to god you fucking crackers that wrote this will fucking rot in hell!! I will kill you myself if I saw you and make jokes about it.. You fuckers are all going to hell, and then get butt fucked by the devil. He will want you computer nerd virgins too. And by the way Michael Jackson led way more of an honest live than Sarah Fawcett!
p.s. Fuck you all
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dude yall should chill out karma will come to yall
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u guys need to shut the hell up about michael jackson let him rest in peace he hasnt done anything to any of u all…
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HAHAHAH WHEN I FOUND OUT MICHEAL JACKSON DIED I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF HE IS A STUPID BITCH AND I WAS LAUGHING EVEN MORE WHEN HIS DAUGHTER WAS CRYING SHE WAS LIKE I MISS MY DAD’S PLASTIC PENIS HAHA LIKE A BITCH OH YEA I LOVE ALL THE JOKES DUDES I WISH I WAS THE CAUSE OF MICHEAL JACKSON’S DEATH THAT WOULD BE AWESOME AND BRUTAL LIKE I RIPPED OUT HIS EYES AND SODOMIZED HIS EYE SOCKETS TILL I PUNCTURED HIS BRAIN AND HE BLEED THROUGH THE ASS!!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
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HEY LUV MJ UR FUCKIN STUPID MJ CANT SAY SHIT CUS HE IS DEAD OF CUMSHORTAGE FOR FUCKIN A 12 YEAR-OLD TOO HARD HAHAHHAAHHA
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I THINK EVERYBODY WHO TALKS ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON NEED A LIFE BECUZ MICHAEL IS A GUD MAN AND HE NEVER DID NUTHN BAD 2 HURT ANYBODY AT ALL AND HE DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH NO LITTLE BOYS SO CAN PEOPLE STOP SAYING DAT DAMN!!!!!!!!!
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Haha you all have WAY too much time on your hands! More comments then jokes
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Whats the differance between m j and a grocery bag? nothing. . . there both white, plastic, and harmful to children.
KizzleCaliKidz
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that one bt the McJackson was EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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FUCK YOU ALL!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!! HE WAS A GREAT PERSON!! HE HELPED THE WORLD MORE THEN ANY OF YOU PEOPLE WOULD EVER DO!!!! SO SUCK IT!!!
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LOOK YOU A- HOLES! FIRST OF ALL IF THE MOLESTING THING WAS TRUE THE PARENTS WOULDNT HAVE TAKIN THE MONEY CUZ THEY WOULDVE WANTED HIM IN JAIL SO BAD SO YOU BURN IN HELL EFFER’S! STOP TALKING ABOUT HIMM! I LOVEE HIMM, ALL YALL IS PROBABLY BUTT ASS UGLY SO DONT EVEN TALK ABOUT HIM SO FUCK OFF DICK SUCKERS! BETCHA HE HAS MORE THAN ALL OF YALL, NOBODY KNOW’S THE TRUTH BUT HIM SO STFU! ONLY HATERS TALK SHIT SO YALL HATIN,BEST STAR WHO EVER LIVED! EVERONE WORSHIPS HIM,BEYONCE,ALICIAKEYS,AKON,JAY-Z,P.DIDDY! ALL THEM, IF IT WASNT FOR MICHAEL THERE WOULD BE NO BLACKK ASSES ON T.V AND YES IM BLACK! SO FUCK ALL YA HATERS,YALL HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANYBODY SO IM NOT RESPECTING YALL. DAMN,LET HIM REST IN PEACE HE CANT GO NOWERE WITHOUT EIN ON THE NWES OR TALKED ABOUT! LEAVE MICHAEL JACKSON LONE ASSHOLES! BLESS HIS FAMILY AND KIDS!
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i thank mick is and fag
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MJ can molest kids in hell… so don’t feel sorry for him… you will all meet him soon!!! >:)
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All of you are sick bastards why don’t you go fuck your father.Instead of writing this crap.
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fuck all you people
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http://niketalk.yuku.com/topic/187478/t/Michael-Jackson—affinity–children-Mature-Discussion.html
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Hey Jake Harris, remember that news footage a few years ago showing Michael Jackson dangling a young child from a hotel balcony? Odd, because he normally just tosses them off.
Fucks sake, Jake!!!
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tool academy is the solicitation for you sick people
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Hey Jake Harris, when watching Michael Jackson’s coffin being pushed away by the Jackson Brothers, was anybody else reminded of those two words…
Cool Runnings?
Fucks sake, Jake!!!
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dead ed your fucking gay man you just sit around on your lazy ass bloging about stupid shit im the boss fucker watch the warriors now can you dig it
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Hey Jake Harris, what do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave little boys’ bedrooms with empty sacks.
Fucks sake, Jake!!!
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imbreads
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Hey Jake Harris, thank God they found Balloon Boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from Heaven.
Fucks sake, Jake!!!
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fuck you dead ed you retarded asshole mj is my hero and fuck all you go rape a cat or somthing
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Hey Jake Harris, what with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 world championship, Barack Obama being president of the USA, Will Smith being the world’s highest paid actor and Tiger Woods being the world’s best golfer, it has never been cooler to be black.
Poor old Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.
Fucks sake, Jake!!!
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fdjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffdead ed your dead i will kill barrack obama one of these days
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How unlucky am I… Only went and swapped my Michael Jackson tickets for the Boyzone Reunion tickets… Fucks sake!!!
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WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A REFRIEGERATOR AND MICHAEL JACKSON.ONE DOSEN’T FART WHEN YOU TAKE THE MEAT OUT
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I’m all ready for Halloween. My Michael Jackson costume came this morning.. it’s a bit small though, looks like its for fucking kids!
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Loved Mj, he was a legend, and an awesome guy. But these jokes are hillarious. Well Most of them xx
Why is everyone going mental. It is just jokes. You know the type where you are supposed to laugh. He is dead, he wont mind honest xx
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I LL GIVE UR ASS A GOOD WOOPIN’ YEAH AFYER YOU DIES ILL MAKES JOKES ABOUT YOU AND ILL SPIT ON UR FUCKIN GRAVE
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SHUT UP YOU FUCKING FUCKS!
GO TO HELL GO FUQ YOUR IDIOTIC MOTHERS! I HATE YOU ALL BURN I HELL! YOU BRAINLESS ASSHOLESS!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!
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Twilight re-write #4668:
“I know what you are, you’re pale white and ice cold”
“Say it.”
“Michael Jackson?”
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micheal didnt realy of a heart attack, he was in hospital and he went past the childrens ward and had a stroke
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i’m not horrified by the act of cracking jokes about dead people, rather horrified at the lack of creativity that went into these jokes. mj child molester jokes are lame and too easy. the only funny one was the biodegradable joke…
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ok first of all i do not like Micheal Jackson..and not everyone does. I believe he did it and thats just my opinion..not everyone has to like him so there for all of you people who are getting pissed off cause some people hate micheal jackson and think jokes about him are funny need to get a fucking life. Not everyone has to like him or think the way you do. If micheal jackson didnt do it then why did he pay the family off? Seems kinda suspicious if you ask me….so those of you who are telling the people who hate MJ to go kill themselves or that you hope we die can go suck on a giant monkey dick cause if your telling us to go kill ourselves or to just go die then your the ones who have to be afraid cause like some people have said…KARMA IS A BITCH
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whoa watch out if jackson comes back as a zombie O:
idk whats scarier,
a zombie that eats your brains out
or one that eats your ass out
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WTF?!?!?!?
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funniest jokes ever
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you assholes, michael is awesome he was proven innocent of molestation charges shut the fuck up before i hunt you down and kill you he was a legend and you are just jealous hoes
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You all will rot in hell (: I will be there to watch.
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