Dead Michael Jackson Jokes
I do not know what would be more appropriate right now then jokes about Michael Jackson dying. If you have any to add do so in the comments section.
- Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.
- Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.
- Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.
- In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.
- In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.
- Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.
- I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.
- Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.
- Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.
- MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.
- It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.
- In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.
- Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.
- Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.
- Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.
- Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.
- Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!
- Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”
- What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!
- Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.
you lot are so mean
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Cha your just a pedo sticking up for a pedo. No one cares if michael jackson died or not. He had it coming anyways. Just like we all do. Its just another person gone. And too bad no one can sue for the dead jokes since ya know…hes dead. So stfu and get over it. I would call you a nigger lover but michael jackson kinda ruined that for me, stupid white…chocolate..person.
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I agree wit Omgloljackson Cha needs to shut the fuck up. I know why cha sticks up for mj it bcuz micheal paid him 4million dollars to FUCK him. ANd cha dnt want to say anything bcuz micheal jackson will haunt him in BED!!!
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first of all u idiot, i am a woman, but in your case more of a man than you. second of all, why don’t you 2 tramps go fuck one another
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WTF???? put away the whiskey bottle, get your thumb out of your cousins ass and try it again.
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Every one just CHILL!!!!!…. Some of Micheal Jackson jokes are Funny. Cha… U need to shut the fuck up. U think u run this shit but u dont. All ya’ll nigga’s that think some of Micheal Jackson jokes are funny you are right if Ya’ll agree wit me send a comment
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you shut the fuck up you fake ass waana be gansta. I have never said that I run anything, but perhaps you should run to the nearest library and check out some hooked on phonics books and learn to spell you fucking ass wipe
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U know wat shut The FUCK up Robert. Man.. u wish u wuld suck Mj cock. Micheal did nutn to u damn people. He was found inosent. See how much you fuckers know… We will always have mj in our hearts
R.I.P Micheal Jackson 1958-2009
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You can’t spell “inocent”?
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I dont give a fuck if i spelled inosent wrong.
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Ok… ^^^ pedophiliac lover ^^^
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DUDE…. I really dont fuckn like him. He fuckn loves kids. Bro im just playn i really hope his ass burns in hell. haha lol :)
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Man Im goin to be nice. U ppl that Micheal Jackson is dead and thinks it funny thats ur opinion and i can’t do nutn bout it. But here’s my opinion… I think he inspired alot of black people to do wat ever they want through rough times back then because alot of rap music wuld not be here if mj was never here. And most ppl like r&b and pop and rap music today. So u ppl dat think mj is an asshole. go head IDC. If u think he’s an asshole why the hell would u look up micheal jackson jokes u dumb ass’s. Dueces!!
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He inspired a lot of braindead Mick Jackobot zombies who go around like his own personal Jackopropaganda press corps who try to get you to 4give n 4get his pedophile charges.
He inspired N’SUCK boy bands.
He inspired the artist Prince(ess).
He inspired pedophiliacs to be more creative (they couldn’t compete with an amusement park).
He inspired late night comedians (David Letterman) to make tasteless jokes about (Alex Rodriguez) raping 14 year old children (Sarah Palin’s daughter Piper). I’m a Satanist, but GODDAMN, she didn’t do shit to deserve that! And yet, you MJ fans prolly thought it was funny. (Jay Leno rules: he kicked his ass in the ratings. Letterman was turning into a bitter, ageing hippie liberal.)
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IM GHETTo. I listen to rap. I hate fuckn Micheal Jackson What do u have to say now Tommy Boy?
Dueces nigga’s!
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I want to FUCK Micheal Jackson. He’s hot and yummy. he turns me on. i want to hump him really HARD… And eat his soft dick. and me to scream HARDER HARDER. I luv guys and iam 1. I just want a man to lick my dick and i will lick his at the same time. UHHHH!!!! Im playn wit myself right now and im thinking of micheal jackson.as my dildo. IT FEELS SOOOO GOODDD!!!……
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gay guy ur fuckn wrong ur a guy and like dudes. U should look out for those hot ass women out there man… U missn out..
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I got you beat, Ghetto all da way. I break all stereotypes. I’m a Satanic Hispanic Conservative Republican (as apposed to Republican party being the white Christian party, according to Howard Dean & Eric Holder). I don’t listen to Hispanic music. I play in a Black Metal band & listen to Death Metal.
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bro Dead ed. I will beat the shit out of u. I represent westend. Wat do u represent… Fucking Hispanic Christians U dumb ass u dont know me… ANd u dont want to know me either im not like gay guy up there.haha
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I prolly don’t know you. I’m not from the east coast, or west coast. I’m in the middle, No Coast. Just a pond & some catfish. In Iowa. (Idiots Out Wanderin’ About). You don’t run SHIT. Life is more than just the ghetto. Get out and smell the pigs. There’s cornfields outside the ghetto. You should c it sometime. We pay your government welfare bills. We on the outside contributing to your community. How’s my money, bitch?
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Ur scared to reply u fuckn Hispanic…. Now i got u BEAT niggA.!!!
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Look up, dude ^^^
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michael jackson wanted gary glitter to look after his children when he died so they could have the same bedtime routine
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I cant believe that Jerko is in HELL before OJ!!! At least OJ will have a welcoming committee.
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OJ will have fanfare in hell when he arrives. Led by Johnny Cochran, telling him & MJ, “if you sleep with the fishes, you’re dead sons of bitches.”
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Michael Jackson got away with to much to long,I only wish he would have spent his last days in jail where he belonged,and as for anyone who tries to justify his being a child molester I hope johnny law catches up to you!
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Do you know they could tell that it was bedtime at the “Neverland” ranch?
The Big was on the Little hand……………………..
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FUCK MJ HE WAS A CHILD MOLESTING RAGING FAIRY BESIDES THAT ALL HE EVER WANTED TO DO WAS BEAT IT IF HE WOULD HAVE BEAT HIS OWN INSTEAD OF LITTLE BOYS. AND YOU KNOW HE FUCKED HIS PET MONKEY HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHA
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I feel bad for God. He has to keep an eye on MJ from molesting his son, Jesus.
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MJ is going around immitating Ed McMahon now. Poor Eddie is disgusted & Farrah Fawcett asked him what’s wrong. Ed shakes his head & says, “he’s going around saying, ‘wheeeeeere’s Johnny?’”
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Sightings of MJ, the Necro Pedophile, have been seen in Canton, MI, Crown Point, IN & Calumet City, IL. Witnesses say he’s been found at the bedside of children’s beds dancing to Thriller.
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Billy Mays is now MJ’s maintenence.manager. He puts Mighty Putty on his nose & bleaches his skin with OxyClean.
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Will MJ’s organs continue to be donated to little boys?
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the jokes are just that.but the facts are this piece of shit screwed up the lives of kids,and the parents of these children that settled for a cash settlement are just as fucked up as michael jackson .and by the way dead ed you don’t have to worry about god having to watch over m j because i really don’t think thats where he’s hanging out.
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I DON”T GIVE A SHIT… YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS
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Ok, we’re the idiots, but you’re the one defending a CHILD MOLESTER! Stupid bitch!….
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He looked like he was carved out of a bar of soap !
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He made my ass look like a baboon !
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I hear Blacks are well hung ! Bet his asshole hung out 7 or 8 inches !
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It’s a myth. A myth black comedians keep harping on. I wouldn’t know, but, I know some sluts & queers who would know.
MYTH.
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Macully Cocain Said MJs penis reminded him of a peanut ! I ask if it was that small ! He said NO !!!! ” Salty “
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Michael Jackson died and went to heaven and was black. He begged God to make him whiter. Next thing he hears? “Hi, I’m Billy Mays here with Oxy-Clean!!”
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Michael Jackson’s will states he wants to be cremated and spread into a sandbox. This will he will be getting into kids pants even in death.
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The only Karma to watch out for…. has already been placed on MJ..
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Amen. {;o)>-
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how in the hell do u go from FUCK GOD to AMEN???? just wondering!?!?!?!
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How in the hell do you call yourself “angel” when your just an avid lover of child molesters? Just wondering?lol
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nope… I am a respectable human being and don’t see the need to make retarded ass jokes at a man that is dead
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I never said “FUCK GOD”. Please direct me to the time and date I said that.
Somewhere on here I DID say I was tollerant towards other religions. Especially CHRISTIANS. Jesus believes in Satan, Satan believes in Jesus. Can’t have one without the other.
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Let’s celebrate our Independence, while the celebrity worshipers celebrate DEpendence. I’m so a Patriot, my daughters’ names are Reagan, Madison & Liberty.
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I know what Michael Jackson and Farrah, Ed and Billy May are getting for Christmas!!! “Patrick Swayze!!!” May you all rot in peace!!
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BLAH
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Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One WALKS ON THE MOON… The other FUCKS LITTLE BOYS…
Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?…Acne at least waits until the boys 13 before coming on his face….
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wow
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In honor of MJ’s death, walmart decided to have a sell… little boys pants half off. … Oh, By the way, these jokes are funny as hell, it’s the least that fuck deserves. May he rot in hell (and be repeatedly ass raped by satan)
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just sooooooo old and not funny
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Seriously “angel” I think you would be singing a different tune if your kid was molested by him. What sickens me is this whole, arms across america for this sick fuck and may you rot in hell with him. More like the angel of death. hahahaha bitch!
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your’re absolutely right. therefore he would not have been able to buy my silence for a few million bucks. My kids mean way too much to me for that. I would have pressed the issue to have him thrown in jail or killed him with my bare hands. that is what sickens me about these so called victims you people are cheering for. not to mention the little innocent boy came out and admitted he made the whole thing up less than a week ago. he had this reputation back in the 80′s according to “america” so why in the hell will you, as a parent, allow your child to go unsupervised???
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and by the way, go suck on a dead dick you fucking bitch. I will rot in hell just as soon as you test the waters and let me know how it is ass hole
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hey your stupid and you can’t read. hahahaha. First off, I never said I would EVER leave my kid unsupervised with that fuck or any other accused child molester. It’s kind of funny how you will defend this asshole to the fullest, but if he wasn’t dead you wouldn’t let him watch your kids. One thing I do agree with you though, that mom had to be pretty fucked up to be silenced with money, personally, if it were my kid, I would have chopped off his dick and fed it to him. Oh, by the way I’m sure your kids would be real proud of mommy defending a fagot CHILD MOLESTER. And that makes you worse than MJ. I hope you fucking kill yourself along with all the other physco fans out there.
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actually I have a college degree that says I can read. Perhaps you might want to take a RE-fresher course in english. AND…. i never said I defend him because he is Michael Jackson, I wouldn’t care if it were Jackson Michael. He is still a human being that left behind family and friends that love him and will miss him…blah blah blah and all that jazz. Bottom line, YOU’RE a complete idiot, and my kids would love the fact that their momma is treating all human beings as equal and have respect for others and their feelings…they would be even more proud to see me bitch slap you… can we make it happen???
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What’s funny is you pretty much know he did it angel and you still defend him! Plus it wasn’t just ONE boy either.
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were you there holding his nuts while he dipped into their back sides or something??? It’s even more funny how you know he did it. and what does that mean it was more than just one boy??? hell people continue to play the lottery in hopes of winning a big chunck of change after seeing one lucky bastard strike it rich, but uuhhhh????
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By the way since you love mj so much…go suck on his dead dick, and trust and believe you’re ass will burn in hell just as long as you defend child molesters you fucking whore!
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I really do love mj, jj, rj and the rest of the A-Zj’s, but it doesn’t change my stand on this topic.
I’d love to suck his dick, just as soon as your daddy is done. can you give me a jingle when he is???
and i am not the whore that carried you for nine months..;o)
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I know you’re trying to do the humane thing by showing respect to the dead, [pat pat pat] if I can pat you on the head I would. But you are really sounding like a condenscending snotbag with that tone of urs towards others that disagree with you. It’s just not worth it on this site because it’s a loser battle.
Think of a celebrity YOU hate, (George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Kelsey Grammar, Mel Gibson, the band Staind, the band Avenged Sevenfold, the Right Brothers, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Ted Nudgent, Julie Banderas, Maria Gomez, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Kerrie Prejean) if any of them died, YOU’D be happy.
Just thought I’d mention them because you come across as a liberal that supports the elite no matter what their past, so I mentioned some conservatives you might be happy to see gone. Now, tell the truth, if somebody you didn’t like was gone, wouldn’t you be happy? Would you be as “humane” as you are towards Michael Jackson?
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OMG! I 4got one everybody hates.
She’s got blonde hair, long legs, & a powerful intelect. She’s a writer, a real fighter you can say she’s on the cutting edge. And she captures my heart, when she tears libs apart. And now I must confess things as they are…
I’m in love with Ann Coulter. All I wanna do is hold her. And have her read her books to me, just like she does in my dreams. I wonder if she’s got a boyfriend, ’cause my girlfriends leavin’. She says I’m living in a fantasy. Even she can c it’s over, because I’m in love with Ann Coulter.
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And everytime I c her on, my television screen, she looks into my eyes I know, she’s talkin’ straight 2 me… —RB
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i would never find joy in any person’s death, sorry for you that you can. and yes I even cried when my dog died. so I can’t see all of these jokes as funny. some are, and I chuckled at a few but dude, where do u draw the line???
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You don’t draw the line. It’s America’s nature. Isn’t freedom lovely. This isn’t former Soviet Union, this isn’t Cuba or Venezuela where they control the information highway of the internet and media. This isn’t Iran, North Korea or Nazi Germany. You get my drift. You can’t do anything about something that you disagree with. I see a lot of things I don’t like, like example: David Letterman joking about Sarah Palin’s 14 year old daughter getting raped by Alex Rodriguez in the 7th inning stretch. It got some laughs. I’m a Satanist, but DAMN, she didn’t do shit to deserve that.
What can you do? I felt bad for the little girl. But it’s not my problem. Sarah Palin handled it herself (good 4 her). It took him a week to apoligize after failed attempts at it with nonapoligies.
Just let it go.
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Btw, just because I’m a Satanist it don’t mean I go around sacrificing animals, babies or virgins. That’s a myth. And people who do that aint REAL Satanist. They’re psychopaths. Pick up a Satanic bible at your local book store. We don’t do that shit.
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I get that…land of the free. we can argue over his untill he cows come home. You feel like you do, and I feel like i do and no one can change that. You know what they say…Opinions are like assholes, everybodies got one. So whatever dude. I feel satisfied knowing that my heart is one that cares
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Ok. Excellent. Fair enough. You care for MJ. Great. I can respect that. But let me just KINDLY say that I disagree with your position & stand by mine 4 the obvious reasons I believe 2 be true after my own careful research & checks & balances provided me to bring forth my own perfectly executed celebrity poltical analysis.
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That is also true, but there again it is a mater of opinion that we can only draw based on hear say. The “little” boy say he did, Mike say he didn’t. Nobody was there to confirm either story, so therefore we make our decision based on that. People say he paid them money so that makes him guilty, others say since the family took the money that was their intentions. ALL OPINIONS… just like the Kobe Bryant case, right? So I am not campaigning for him becaus he is “Michael Jakson”, but I just feel that it is wrong for someone to be judged by others that “morally” have no right.
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No joke here.
Mj quote: his words, not mine.
From an interview re: the latest scandal in 2003 (MJ was a 44 year old man):
Interviewer asked about his affamation with children and MJ says:
“When you say ‘bed’, you’re thinking ‘sexual’. They make that sexual. It’s not sexual.
“We’re going to bed. I tuck them in & I put a little like, er, music on & when it’s story time I read a book.
“We go to sleep with the fireplace on. I give them hot milk, you know, we have cookies. It’s very charming. It’s very sweet. It’s what the whole world should do.”
Once again: HIS WORDS. NOT MINE.
“It’s what the whole world should do?”? Would you do that with stranger’s kids? Would you let your kids do that with strangers… nay… with a 44 year old man?
Now THAT’S Perfectly Executed Celebrity Political Analysis.
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Michael Jackson was the reason Waldo was hiding.
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People, if you are offended by these jokes, don’t read them and stay off the page!
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SHUT UP IDIOT!
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U stupid idiot ugly lozzers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MJ is my idol! BUT HE DIED SO U UGLY STUPIDS COME UP WITH STUPID JOKES! SHUT UR BUTT HOLES UP U BABY HEADS!!!!!!! ARE U CRAZY!!!! HE DONATED 2 CHARITY!!!!!!!!! AND U BUTT BRAINS R IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE WORLD CRIES FOR HIM U UGLY IDIOTS!
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FUCK YOU THAR JUST JOKES
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Them are not his kids! Look at em ! You can’t have kids by sticking it a 12 yr olds but !
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What does MJ and pimples have in comon ? They wait till your 12 befor they come on your face!
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I am not here to be a racist, but there is 2 reasons why Michael Jackson got away with child molesting little boys, 1 he has money to pay for the best attorneys and 2 that he is black. I mean Michael Vick got a slapped on the wrist with a 2 year prison sentence while anyone else that ran a dog fighting ring would get 30 years in prison because of those 2 same reasons. It seems if you’re black and have money, you’ll either get off on the charges or get a slap on the wrist sentence.
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Brian go jump in the river. You make no sense to play the race card. Th family asked for that amount of money to be quiet
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person 1 = what micheal jackson died??!
person 2 = yea! can u believe it!?
person 1 = well now that i think about it.. he was looking a little pale.
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I am so glad Michael Jackson died, he is doing all the children a favor. Lol. J/k. His music is great but his actions are bad.
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I am so glad Michael Jackson died, he is doing all the children a favor GODS JUGING HIM NOT YOU JOKE R JOKE BUT THATS 2 FAR
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The guy who was neither BLACK OR WHITE in appearance told us he was BAD, we didn’t take him seriously, then he said he was DANGEROUS, we didn’t look into it, but we later learnt that the SMOOTH CRIMINAL’s THRILLER was a little boy, and another boy, and another one. He could not stop with one boy because he never got enough – DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU GET ENOUGH.
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I GOT A NEW CAR STEREO. I SAY ROCK IT PLAY ROCK.I SAY RAP IT PLAY RAP.2 KIDS RUN IN FRONT OF ME I SAID FUCKING KIDS IT PLAYS MICHAEL JACKSON SORRY IT NOT A DEAD JOKE
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Q:WHAT WAS MACULLY CAUKIN’S REACTION OF HEARING OF MJ’S DEATH?
A: DAMN,I GREW UP “ON” MICHAEL JACKSON !
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Q. What do Michael Jackson and Catholic priests have in common?
A. What do you think?
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They’re fucking jokes and they’re funny. It doesn’t matter if you believe he molested the boy or not. It doesn’t even matter if he did it. It’s funny to fucking joke about. That’s the word joke. We’re having fun. This isn’t a hate website so calm the fuck down. This is funny as shit and if you want to someone to freak out about it get chris crocker on the phone.
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relax already before you have a stroke. you seem like you could use a big cup of cold prune juice to help you relax
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What’s with the prune juice? Poop doesn’t relax me.
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And besides micheal Jackson was the one that had a stroke in the childrens hospital.
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HAHAHAA LOVE IT. HE WAS A CHILD MOLESTER THAT PAID OFF THE FAMILIES. GET A LIFE YOU HOLLYWOOD BALL SWINGERS!!!!
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they forgot a joke when its thundering and its not raining its elivis killing micheal
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