Celebrities Give Thanks
Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and “give thanks” for our many blessings. We asked several of today’s hottest celebrities what they were thankful for….
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Britney Spears is thankful for her two wonderful children…and Roe v. Wade…in no particular order. |
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Guy Ritchie is thankful to be over his debilitating eight-year case of dry twat. |
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Perez Hilton is thankful for Paris Hilton, a generation of celebrity-obsessed retards, and assless chaps. |
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Oscar the Grouch – “I’m thankful that Jim Henson is still dead.” |
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Kirk Cameron – “I’m thankful that my role of Mike Seaver in Growing Pains allows me to spread the word of God to lost souls watching A&E at 4:00 am. I’m also thankful that so many of those lost souls have bought my book, Still Growing, in stores now.” |
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Twilight star Robert Patterson is thankful that teenaged girls are so god damn stupid. |
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Dr. Phil is thankful that middle aged women are so god damn stupid. |
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Leonard Nemoy – “I’m thankful that JJ Abrams found a way to bring my only chance of working back from the dead…again. Not even Jesus of Nazareth has topped that.” (Writer’s Commentary – “That’s my fave because I took a shot at Spock and Jesus.”) |
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Gary Busey – “I’m thankful that the recent economic downturn hasn’t affected the quality or quantity of delicious honey produced by my ant farm.” |
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Richard Gere is thankful that everyone forgot about “the whole gerbil thing.” We didn’t. |
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Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is thankful that Biggie Smalls took those potentially embarrassing rumors about bedwetting to the grave. |
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Rosie O’Donnell is thankful to live in a culture where being an ignorant loud-mouthed muff diver gets you on television rather than stoned to death in the town square. |
I am thankful for the internet because now I have a forum to express my rage. My dog is also thankful because he previously bore the brunt of my rage.
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eh… cognitively..
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