Catherine Zeta Jones Will Soon Be Single

Michael Douglas cancer



Good news! Based on this picture of Michael Douglas it is pretty obvious that Catherine Zeta Jones will soon be single.


Michael Douglas was recently diagnosed with throat cancer. Probably because he is part Jew and Allah wanted to punish him. Once Michael Douglas is dead (which should be any day now), Catherine Zeta Jones will finally be free to marry a strong Muslim man.


How Michael Douglas tricked Catherine Zeta Jones into marrying him has always been a mystery, but I firmly believe large amounts of opiates and death threats must have been involved.


Thankfully Michael Douglas will soon be burning in the eternal hellfire for his sinful Jewish ways. Praise be to Allah in his infinite wisdom for giving him cancer and setting Catherine Zeta Jones free. Allahu Akbar!

 

  • WTF

    OMG cancer is not a punishment from God or Allah or whatever. My Grandma had cancer and she was a great person and not being punished

    • Jayde

      OK I’ve always defended you guys and thought you were hilarious but this is taking it too far how many people have lost a father, mother, brother, sister, etc. to cancer. This is just sick it is not funny and you are going to lose a lot of people who visit your sight because this is insensitive.

      • Mel

        So now that they make a joke about something you are sensitive about it is wrong?

        The whole point of this site is not just the offensive jokes, but to laugh at those people who come on all offended and claiming a moral superiority to the authors.

        It is a joke, it is either funny or unfunny. Don’t fall into the trap of saying what people can or can not joke about because that is a slippery slope.

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          Mel you speak the truth.

          These stupid infidels are fine and dandy when the joke suits them but when the burn hits close to home they get all critical….well….when Islam takes over you mofos wont have to worry….we will censor everything.

          TV will be called “Allah-vision” and there will be only one channel: A-1.
          There will be no radio or newspaper or public internet.
          Life will be simple and good and I Abdulla will be in charge of information.

          I know it sounds too good to be true but soon you will be thinking just what I want you to think.

          ALLAHU AKBAR

          PS
          Life will not be good for you if you are a jew, nigger, mexican, asian, greek, south american, western european, russian, eastern european, or aussie.
          You fuckers will be killed.

          • shitardsimnot

            hey, shitard! muslims like u gives all the others a bad name. we have asian muslim, u jackass. life would not be good huh? assholes. burn in hell u fucking pig.

          • hooch556

            Hey Abdullah the Butcher or Alli Babbah, I’ve got your infidels between my legs!!! If your’e in the U.S. and have that sh8thead mentatlity then GTFO Ass8ole

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            hooch

            What a homoqueer you are….admitting that you have infidels between you legs!
            It amazes me how degenerate western society has become…..and it gets more degenerate by the day.

            And to top it off…you write like a nigger!

            Yes…..Mr. Nigger…..you will love it when Islam takes over…….

            In case your nigger brain can’t comprehend sarcasm…..you will not love it when Islam takes over….because subhumans like you will be slaughtered and sent staright to hell.
            And I predict you wont like hell at all…….but that’s too fucking bad!

            ALLAHU AKBAR

        • Jayde

          Yes I know that. I usually laugh at that too but wait until you or someone close to you has cancer and see how funny it is then.

          • Joe Jonas’s Girl

            You are a pathos-heavy whore. I’ll bet you don’t eat meat because someone’s chicken died and see how funny it is when it’s your pet chicken who dies. Why don’t you go cut yourself, you emo banshee?

          • Name Stealer

            Joe Jonas’s Girl, how could you be so heartless???

  • Ewok

    Agreeing with Jayde 100%.

    • Common Sense

      Disagreeing with Jayde 100%
      The right to free speech can NOT be infringed regardless of how offensive it may be.
      As a matter of fact I could mention that I did your mother last night, that she is a fat smelly skank slut, and that she sucks cock in the bathroom of TGI Friday’s for 50 dollars of heroin money.
      I could say all sorts of things even if I don’t mean them
      For example (none of the following is sincere, but…)
      Fags should go kill themselves
      Obama is a terrorist
      Mexicans shouldn’t even cross the border
      Hitler should’ve won World War 2
      Burn the US flag

      Yeah, odds are good you’re all thinking that I’m horrible. That’s your right. Keep in mind I don’t agree with a think I just listed, but let’s pretend I believed it all. You can think that I’m horrible, but let’s reverse it a little bit. Let’s pretend that I were horribly offended by Jayde’s atrocious misspelling of the word “site” (she spelled it “sight”, which is the word for vision and not for base or foundation, and is not used in “website”). Let’s pretend that my father, mother, sister, brother, etc. lost a spelling bee by misspelling that word.
      Well you can misspell some words, but let’s pretend that this is taking it too far. Let’s pretend that this is just sick and not funny and not even acceptable, and like I’m horribly offended by Jayde’s misspelling of a word.
      Should Jayde have misspelled the word? Maybe not. Should I get all butt-hurt about it and put up a big stink about how this is just too mean and too hurtful?
      There’s something wrong with anyone who thinks that freedom of speech should be revoked in any way. Opinions differ, and the less tolerant we are of what we consider to be offensive, the more miserable, violent, and disliked we become. There is no taking expression of opinions too far. Limitation of speech based on majority opinion is called mob rule.
      The principle of this government is as follows: majority rule with minority rights
      If Jayde wanted this article to be illegal and enough people agreed, this article would be taken down. If I were the person I just pretended to be and enough people agreed with me, her comment and the improper form, “sight”, would be taken down. Neither case would be fair. Instead, it’s fair to give Celeb Jihad their right to this article and give Jayde the right to butcher the English language even though my relative lost an important spelling bee with that word and I’m horribly offended by it.
      You’re bound to offend someone regardless of what you say, just don’t get hung up on it and make the world just a little less dumb by not being offended by small things.
      In other words, don’t be “sensitive”, just be tolerant and be the bigger person. Otherwise you’re just pussy-sucking crack whores who make America look like a land of intolerant prudish hypocrites (which is your right because of the 9th amendment; it also makes you an epic moron, though, and there’s no excuse for being an epic moron).
      P.S. All due respect to Jayde for expressing an opinion, but I’d like to urge her to reconsider her opinion and delve deeper into the nature of right and wrong.

      • Common Sense

        Let’s also pretend that I’m horribly offended by the way I typed the word “think” where I meant to put “thing”. That wasn’t my brightest move, but inconsiderate as it was of me not to spell check what I posted before posting it, it was perfectly legal to post it anyways.
        Censorship is a slippery slope (Mel said it better)

      • Eminem

        You wanna pretend?
        Alright, Airplanes Part 2

        lets pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen
        lets pretend things would have been no different
        pretend he procrastinated had no motivation
        pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind
        marshall you’re never gonna make it makes no sense to play the game there ain’t no way that you’ll win
        pretend he just stayed outside all day and played with his friends
        pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend
        and it wasn’t time to move and schools were changing again
        he wasn’t socially awkward and just strange as a kid
        he had a father and his mother wasn’t crazy as sh-t
        and he never dreamed he could rip stadiums and just lazy as sh-t
        f-ck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won’t amount to sh-t quit daydreaming kid
        you need to get your cranium checked you thinking like an alien it just ain’t realistic
        now pretend they ain’t just make him angry with this sh-t and there was no one he could even aim when he’s pissed it
        and his alarm went off to wake him off but he didn’t make it to the rap Olympics slept through his plane and he missed it
        he’s gon’ have a hard time explaining to Hailey and Laney these food stamps and this WIC sh-t
        cuz he never risked shit he hopes and he wished it but it didn’t fall in his lap so he ain’t even here
        he pretends that…

        • Osbama bin Biladen

          Foolish infidel! Still your kuffar tongue and cease to disturb this jihad with your profanity! I am surprised that Jimmy Jihad and Durka Durka Mohammed have not yet taken aim at you, but be assured, you filthy Zionist rapper, that you are a target now more than you ever were in the past, and the jihad against the celebrities will rage against you as well. Be warned, fool!
          P.S. Jayde, there is nothing hilarious about jihad until the blood of infidels runs through the gutters. Then, at last, we may laugh

        • Music Critic

          Not one person gives Eminem a thumbs up? Muslims have no taste in music. Happy birthday, Eminem!

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        I agree with these things you have said:

        Fags should go kill themselves
        Obama is a terrorist
        Mexicans shouldn’t even cross the border
        Hitler should’ve won World War 2
        Burn the US flag

        I would also like to add:

        All Niggers should be relocated to Africa and then Africa should be nuked.
        All westerners need to convert to Islam
        All women need to wear the burka
        All prostitutes should be stoned
        No woman should be allowed to drive or go out in public without a male relative escort.
        Pigs are only good for hosting demons.
        All Japs need eye operations so they don’t squint.
        All hollywood Jews need gassed and burned.
        All Israeli Jews need gassed and burned
        Spongebob is a homoqueer and needs banned from tv

        When Islam takes over…these things shall come to pass.
        Anyone who disagrees with Islam will be killed.

        • Abdullah The Bitcher

          If all prostitutes would be stoned, you’d never ever get a fuck “Abdullah” (haha)

      • Jayde

        Ooh you clearly have a lot of time to spend on me. All I was saying is that until you have experienced both your parents die from cancer a few months apart this is not funny. And as for focusing in my spelling, which was incorrect because I was really upset at the time so that was the last thing on my mind. Comparing losing a spelling bee to losing a relative? You’re clearly a sick fuck who has no consideration for human kind and probably sold your mother for a buck so you could blow George Michael in a skanky bathroom.

        • Common Sense

          Oh…
          *sniff, sniff*
          I think I’m gonna cry now because I’m just so touched by some people and their plights. And now I don’t find chainsaws cool either because some people have lost relatives to chainsaws. This makes the above piece of satire horribly offensive and now it’s just not funny to me.
          *sniff, sniff*
          And by the way, you’re really good at interpreting metaphors and analogies, Jayde. I’ll see you in my uncle’s fifth grade special ed class next time I visit

      • Wow

        This all coming from the guy who said that there won’t be any news paper and that he will be in charge of “information”…. Guys give Abdullah the butcher a break. I was first offended too as you can read in my first post but obviously has some kind of psychosis and needs treatment. He and others like him post here because people like us will react to it. Think about it this way….. Why are there so many crazies go down town? Because people react to it. That, and because the mission/soup kitchen is located down town. LOL

  • theheadchimp

    People its a satircal website not a theological seminar at a fucking junior college. If you can’t express your opinion without writing a book, then someone should tell you…..B o r i n g !

    • Liza

      Bet you couldn’t write a book or attend a theological seminar at a junior college. Bet you’re too boring to see anything but boring. Only one person on this site is boring and that was a ranting mo fo called Spock Jenkins. The rest had something to say. Get an attention span, theheadsquirrel

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      headchimp

      I know how to “cut” these windy kuffars short.

  • theheadchimp

    You go Abdullah, these dumbass mofo’s think because they can type an entire page of bullshit it equals rational thought. If there was a thought in there you get bored halfway down and just say to hell with it.

    • Liza

      You brainless manslut, he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to you and didn’t reply to what I said. Now put something over your jock strap and learn what rational thought is instead of jacking off while heckling people who know more than you. Good luck finding anything you can understand

  • theheadchimp

    Liza short for lizard I see we have a feisty lezbo here. I was talking to Abdullah and he was talking to me, so where in the fuck did you come in? Stay the fuck out of a conversation that had nothing to do with your unimportant ass. You sound like one on those 200 lb dykes with a truckers cap and bib overalls. Go back to carpet munching and leave the men to do the important stuff.

    • Liza

      200 lb dykes with truckers caps and bib overalls are more like Fat Housewife (I’m sorry, Fat Housewife, but that really sounds like you). I’m an engineering major and if you don’t know the stereotype for engineering majors, then I encourage you to remove the clothing covering your jock strap and continue masturbating in front of your computer screen as you did before I encouraged you to look into rational thought. There seems to be no hope for you and (I guess I’m just feeding the troll here, but) your mother is so fat that my calculator graphed her as a vertical asymptote.
      P.S. I’m no dyke, but if you want to talk down on carpet munching there’s a good article on Emma Watson. Run along and post a comment on how dyke she is according to Durka Durka or Jimmy Jihad or whoever posted that one, IDGAF really

  • theheadchimp

    Lizard you can lie all you want but it is well known that only bulldykes use the term manslut. I see you also have a fetish for jock straps as it appears it most of your posts lately. It must come from your use of a strap-on, but just because you strap on a dick doesn’t mean you can wear a jock strap. Plus you make it so easy, it is also well known that female engineering majors (at community college) are man hating dykes. Google it…..you will see
    Plus your calculator joke was pathetic, a 5 year could do better. Go back to carpet munching because I can see no real man would want you.

    • Liza

      Suddenly I really pity you. Good luck with life, you’ll need it a lot more than I will

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      headchimp

      I have dealt with many feisty lezboqueers back during my faculty days at (I’m ashamed to admit) a hillbilly state college. I can tell you this, the women who were in the engineering programs were one of two types: dominant lesboqueer and submissive lesboqueer.

      That was it; all the “hot to trot” slutty infidels were in social science. These women wanted to trade sex for grades and after graduating sought out the biggest “deep pocketed” infidel they could snag. They were whores without the prostitute title. This is why america is a degenerate land….the straight women are whores and the rest are lesboqueers! What a fucked up situation. Throw in the niggers and mexicans and it’s nothing but Sodom in the 21st century.

      Oh yea, the one exception to the social science sluts were the “intellectual” lesboqueers, who dominated the female studies program. Ahhhhggg….they were both mud ugly and man haters. My first infidel lesboqueer slaughter involved one of those feminist skags….and after that, I decided to devote my life to Jihad.

      As for fat housewife….she is too scatter brained to even try and flame into moral behavior; I have a grenade with her name on it and when the time is right…..boom! No more fat housewife.

      As for Liza… she had best pay attention to your words.

      What these infidel nut jobs don’t understand is that for every shitty comment they make….a “sleeper jihadist” in their neighborhood puts their name into his “Kill” book. Then one day he gets the word to close out his kill book and bam……a lot of infidel whores, homoqueers, lesboqueers, communists, atheists, niggers, japs, mexicans, and teen musicians get axed.

      Jihad is great!

      ALLAHU AKBAR

      • Name Stealer

        Abdullah the Butcher
        You likely have had a different experience with women in community colleges than I have. I attended a community college for high school, and based on what I saw there, I’m going to post something that hopefully clears the stereotypes up a little bit

        • Liza

          Hello my name is Liza and I am probably a dyke. I have never shaved, ever. I go to community college and every day I stuff my face full of hot, greasy pizza. I play D & D wearing a baseball cap backwards and when the boys try to apply tits or gtfo, I beat them down using my hefty dyke arms. I use words like “manslut” to describe people who have a problem with my tomboy lifestyle because they’re right and I should stick to sexting and drugs like other community college whores. One day I will drop out because I am too stupid to continue learning math but as a show of bravado, I post problems that apply mathematical concepts I don’t yet grasp, mainly because I suck at math and want someone smarter than me to solve a problem I can’t answer. I am probably black and I probably should go back to Africa because I’m draining money from the government and receiving scholarships that should go to people who don’t have AIDS like I do from the many blow jobs I’ve given to math teachers to sustain a GPA that won’t get me dropped. Obviously I have no intelligence or I would not try to base a yo mama joke on a calculator, but I am so stupid that I agree with Joe Jonas’s Girl on many levels. If I’m not on your kill book, then you are a terrible jihadist

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            Yes…that has cleared everything up.
            You my friend….know lesboqueers!

          • Liza

            Screw you douchebags. I’m not commenting anymore. You guys suck and you have no idea what dykes are like. You guys are misinterpreting me and I don’t want to hear it anymore so goodbye, I’m not replying to you dicks anymore

          • Abdullah The Butcher

            Liza
            The only dicks you lesboqueers are interested in are latex ones….especially the double headers.

        • Name Stealer

          That ought to do it

  • theheadchimp

    Lizard what more can anyone say after your last post. You must be butt ugly if you are a manhater in a mans field like engineering. 20-1 male female ratio. No dates… pathetic, personality….pathetic.
    What kind of a dumbass joke is this? your mother is so fat that my calculator graphed her as a vertical asymptote
    I’ll tell you its a boring stupid engineering joke. If it represents your personality then you have a long boring life ahead of you.

  • adolf

    mohamed-archloch

  • theheadchimp

    Lizard did I hurt your wittle dyke feelings? You lezboqueers make it so easy. Post shit you know about intead of mindless jokes. You may not comment anymore but I bet you keep reading so with that in mind…….. Piss Off.

    • Name Stealer

      theheadchimp
      If you hurt her feelings, then I doubt Liza is a dyke. I have yet to meet a dyke with feelings. Look, for example, at Lindsay Lohan, Rosie O’Donnell, and Joe Jonas’s Girl (under the assumption that Joe Jonas is also a lesbian). I have yet to see any display of feelings from any of them, except when influenced by strap-on ramming. Liza appears to be an oversensitive, aggressive, retarded trailer trash tomboy attending community college on a government grant for the mentally disabled. It would be unfair to the aforementioned lesbians to put this feisty tramp in their category because somehow I think that they take pride in being soul-free dykes.
      That’s just my take on it, though.

      • Abdullah The Butcher

        I agree…..this lesboqueer situation with Liza is a conundrum that must be solved.

        Liza:
        Are you or are you not a filthy degenerate lover of same sex muff fluffing?

        If you answer yes….you are a lesboqueer.

        if you answer no….you are lying lesboqueer

        Conundrum solved by Abdullah

        ALLAHU AKBAR

  • theheadchimp

    Adolf if you gonna pretend to be German atleast spell it correctly. Its arschloch you asshole.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Adolf sucks balls.

  • theheadchimp

    Adolph is a meat tenderizer in more ways than one.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Now that was funny.

  • Haywood Jablomi

    I just finished wiping my ass with mohammad toilet paper. I think I’ll piss on a copy of the quran next.

  • Infidel

    I can not believe how hypocritical you Muslims are. You stone women, are okay with honor killings, terrorize the rest of the world for not being of the same religion, and then have balls to claim moral superiority. On top of it all, you claim that the Muslim religion is one of peace. Then there is the whole 72 virgin thing, which to be honest is as retarded as Mormans believing that only 200,000 people are going to heaven. Then, when people express they’re ability of free speech, (the woman who started draw Muhammad day, the Swedish filmmaker who was murdered for a documentary about the oppression of Muslim women. and lets not forget southpark,) you threaten their life, and or take it. I for one am tired of hearing about your empty threats, and trying to curb modern thinking with a religion straight out of the stone age. Either get with the times, accept that women have the right to independent thought, and are not objects to be possessed (I mean selling off 12 year old girls to marry old, fat, hairy, creepy dudes, seriously wtf?) or accept the fact that the world will leave you behind, and no-one will save you, or help you when the oil runs dry. Considering that oil is your only export, and its running out, I would say your fucked. Fucked, since your culture is as capable of reasonable thought as the rock that osama bin laden is hiding under. Fuck the muslim religion and fuck you all. (it doesn’t surprise me that the one negative comment about Michael Douglas and his fight with cancer comes from a Muslim website.)

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Infidel
      Your whiny ass rant gets you no sympathy from me or any other Muslim.
      I will not spend much time trying to educate someone as fucked up as , so I will be short and to the point:
      The times are changing and it is to our advantage. Your degenerate homoqueer dominated civilization is in shambles and pussified fuckers like you are nothing more than wannabee women with manginas.

      Also, I would not try and criticize a civilization which handles it’s women quite well….especially when you live in a land run amok with drunken whores and lesboqueers and 12 years olds with fatherless children.

      I tell you this: the time for an Islamic takeopver of your putrid country is near and I look forward to butchering as many of you infidels as I possibly can.

      Now run and cry to your homoqueer lover and let him pump your ass real good…because soon you will face Sharia!

      Allahu Akbar you sorry Ass MOFO!!!

  • Smelly Muslim

    Allah is a cunt!

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    youre a fucked up a hole.. its ppl like u who make the name muslim sound bad.. the poor guy has cancer and ur happy hes gonna die just coz hes a jew….. well then.. hope u get hit by a bus cuz ur a muslim, how does tht sound??

    ps im a muslim and ur an a-hole

  • dcslayer

    Lol, I like how you guys just keep arguing.. What are you a microcosm?

    For your own good, the good of your family, your nations, your world, show acceptance and forgiveness. Don’t play into the offensive blogs postings to incite you for this

  • theheadchimp

    someone who hates muslims like you……….Black muslims don’t count. If you want to pretend to be Muslim quit your niggerese. Real Muslims hate your dumb black ass so don’t get any hopes that you are special dumbass.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    lol theheadchimp.. im not black :) and for ur info… just coz i type like that it doesnt make me black … and u must be some racist dude who thinks that black muslims dont count…… islam isnt based on the color of ur skin.. and if u think that just coz ppl dont hv the “specific color range” to be muslims like you said, ur the worst kind of muslim… go and plz read the Quran again and do it while actually understanding it… just yapping stuff in arabic doesnt make you a great muslim. u have to know qhat the translation is. tell me just in 1 ayat/surat where its said tht black muslims arent muslims and i wont say anything.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    oh and by the way.. who are the “real” muslims anyway. not people like you i hope .. cuz if so .. then we’re so screwed.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      someone who hates muslims

      You are right…you are screwed. You have no idea of what is coming and you will have no choice but to die. A lazy wannabee nigger like yourself would make a sorry slave and since you would be worthless as a manual laborer ….the only thing left is to put you out of sight of Allah…and by out of sight….. I mean outright slaughtered.

      I have read some of your sorry ass posts and it is clear that you are the result of an ass fuck gone awry. How on Earth your drunken slob of a father fertilized a turd in your prostitute mother’s ass is beyond science to answer, but you know doubt are a “turd-semi-human” hybrid. You are an abomination…..a “huturd.”

      So listen huturd….you have no business running your foul, diarrhea dripping mouth to anyone on this site. We are here to raise the consciousness of the uncivilized world (the infidel dominated west) and if you don’t like the truth…well tough shit…(pun intended…huturd).

      I am a true Muslim and I hate all infidels….especially infidel niggers, wiggers, mexicans, asians, vampire looking fuckers from eastern europe, fat ass italians…..ameri-queers…..and especially jews!

      So drag your degenerate ass to where ever the fuck you came from and start counting your days because soon you will be fertilizing some fig trees in the new Islamic Republic of California.

      ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!

      PS
      We will say what we want to say anytime….. because we only speak the truth!

  • theheadchimp

    If you are not black then quit talking like a fucking nigger. You can see how I might be confused by your jive ass bullshit. Nothing is more pathatic than a white trying to go jungle monkey. You dumb mothafucka when did I speak in Arabic? You are so stupid you don’t understand Enlish eh? I will dumb it down for you ok?
    plz go fuk urslf u dum stopid cocksuker coz u seam t b a real fuking nitwit.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    haha funny you guys say im talking like a nigger when you yourself are talking such crap. now tell me is tht what ur daddy told you to do to people who tried to say things that were true and u didnt have an answer for them? … all your posts are less abt islam and muslims and more about “fuck, ass, cock”
    and im pretty sure i didnt mean u speaking arabic..i meant that when u guys read the Quran u just read it in arabic without-and im pretty sure- knowing what it really means… and the abdulla dude.. u cant put me “out of allah’s sight” as even if im dead he will know what my soul is doing or where i am… and i know ur gonna say “it;ll be in hell” but to tel you the truth … u dont know what God will decide… i can be the most fucked up person in the world and itll be upto god to decide whether to put me in heaven or hell.. so y dont you shut up and like i said.. speak if u have some proof of the shit ur talking abt.. and dont reply saying.. “ur a hoturd” simply because you dont know how to respond using words and sentences tht are of this topic…
    and abdula ur a true muslim?? and u hate asians niggers etc…
    ((((Qur’an, sura 2 Al-Baqara, ayah 62))))) search this in Quran and Read
    . well im pretty sure that Hazrat Mohammad and Allah said something abt that.. im not sure of the exact quote but it was something like dont discriminate… and dont force ppl into accepting islam… which people like you are doing… so u cant be a true muslim
    AND it says respect women.. women had no respect b4 islam.. Hazrat mohammad gave them that respect when islam came.. so you too should respect them if ur a true muslim.. and ur saying theyre prostitutes and cock suckers and should be slaughtered.. shame on you. you call urself a muslim
    and once again.. read the Quran again and stop writing wht creeps like osama has drilled into ur head… and as for the slaughtering part thats not in islam either.. cuz if it was them there wouldnt hv been a sheep in place of hazrat ismail…. Allah wouldve let Hazrat Ibrahim .kill his child….
    So dont go on about slaughtering people and saying ur a true muslim.. thse pl who DID slaughter ppl were the worst muslims. and are going completely against quran and what islam is about
    so i suggest you shut ur pie holes unless you KNOW what ur talking about..
    toodles

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    the story :)
    and this is why slaughtering isnt allowed :). unless you believe that this story isnt true and u have ur own version saying that he nauzubilla slaughtered his son
    Prophet Abraham was Ordered to Slaughter Ishmael

    Ishmael grew up to an age where Prophet Abraham felt hopeful that he would see a lot of goodness from him, in terms of obedience to and worship of God. When Ishmael grew up to be a young man, with the signs of intelligence on him and the readiness to obey, God subjected Prophet Abraham to a difficult test. Then was the first son of Abraham, a son so loved and cherished by him, and yet Abraham was ordered to end the life of this awaited child. God subjected Prophet Abraham to this difficult test to expose to Abraham, and us, the quickness on the part of Abraham to obey God.
    Abraham had a dream that he was slaughtering his son. Abraham knew that this was an order from God, as the dreams of the Prophets are part of Revelation.
    Abraham told his son to bring a rope and a knife, and to come with him, on a certain route of Makkah. On their way, Satan appeared to them, wanting to block Abraham from fulfilling the order of God.
    Prophet Abraham threw pebbles at him. This is where the Muslims throw pebbles during Hajj. The significance contained in our act is that if the devil appears to us, as he appeared to Prophet Abraham, we shall degrade, reject, and throw pebbles at him like Abraham did.
    When Satan became hopeless of distracting Abraham, he appeared to Ishmael, who was carrying the rope and the knife behind Prophet Abraham. Satan said, Young man, do you know where your father is taking you? He said, To get wood for our family from that route. (This is what he thought.) The devil said to him, By God, he only wants to slaughter you. Ishmael asked, Why? The devil said, He claims that his Lord ordered him to do that. Ishmael said, Then let him do that which his Lord ordered him to do.
    When Ishmael did not listen to the devil, he went to Ishmaels mother and told her, Do you know where Abraham took Ishmael? She said, He went to bring us wood. The devil told her, He only took him there to slaughter him. She said, No, he is very loving to his son and too merciful to slaughter him. The devil said, He claims God ordered him to do that. She said, If this was the order of God, then we are subject to the orders of God.
    The enemy of God, Satan, left as a loser, not achieving anything from Abraham, Ishmael, or Hagar. By the Will of God they did not listen to him. They unanimously stood obedient to the orders of God.
    When Prophet Abraham was alone with his son on that route, which is known as the route of Thabir, Prophet Abraham addressed his son by saying, I have seen in my dream that I am slaughtering you, so what do you have to say? He said, O father, do that which you are ordered and, God willing, you will find me patient.
    Then Ishmael said, O father, if you want to slaughter me, and then tie me well so that none of my blood would splash you, because the pains of death are strong and I probably would shake under the throes of death (for death has a lot of pain). Sharpen your blade to be quicker in finishing me. When you want to slaughter me, do it in a way that you cannot see my face, and that I do not see the blade (and get scared as a result). If you want to take my clothing back to my mother to make it easier for her, then do so.
    Prophet Abraham told him, You are such a good assistant to me in carrying out the orders of God! Abraham tied Ishmael down and sharpened his blade, as Ishmael suggested. Abraham made sure not to look at Ishmaels face, and he placed the blade on his throat.

    The Sacrifice from Paradise

    At that point an angel called Abraham and told him, O Abraham, you have fulfilled the orders of God. The angel told him Take this sacrifice instead of your son, as it is cited in Suratus-Saffat 107.
    Instead of Ishmael being slaughtered, a hefty lamb with horns and red wool was slaughtered. The lamb had grazed in Paradise for forty years. God made that lamb come down to Earth, and Prophet Abraham slaughtered it in Mina. This is the reason people slaughter a sacrifice at that place in Hajj. The people making the pilgrimage spend of their money to buy an animal and the meat of that animal is given to the poor of Makkah.
    The two horns of that lamb from Paradise hung on the Ka^bah for the people to see for many hundreds of years. They were still there when Prophet Muhammad lived, and continued to be there until the rulership of ^Abdullah Ibnuz-Zubayr. At that time the Blessed House was set on fire by the unjust. These two horns burned in that fire.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    and abdullah slaves werent killed tht iasnt wht hazrat mohammad wanted… dont u remember that story that each slave was to teach 10 children to read and write… and ur saying tht a slave like me wont be able to do any labour so might as well kill. u can ven search online if u want .. its all over the internet. translations of quran.. Ayaat. hadiths. and theyre translated by muslims so you cant say “dumbass kuffar translations”
    they are pure translations.. so open ur eyes and read

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    Islamic scripture and law forbids forced conversion. A verse of the Quran (2:256) is frequently cited: “Let there be no compulsion in religion” (check it yourself if you dont believe me)

    so u cant go killing people who arent muslims.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    and chimp im not white either not chinese or any others ur fellow dude mentioned in his racist list of ppl he hates.. and “jungle monkey” ?? lol seriously.. .. ur the head chimp.u urself are a species of monkies.. so next time .. think b4 u write :P

    bye bye.*waves with a cheeky smile*

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      You are one dumbass mofo!

  • theheadchimp

    someone who hates muslims….5 posts in a row without making one single point. Congrats that maybe a record. But atleast you CAN post without sounding like a nigger. Now read this real slow because it maybe difficult to understand……but the headchimp is a screen name, just a screen name.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      This nigger’s rants are not worth deciphering.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    again.. mr racist fuck here’s another ayat which proves what GREAT muslim you are :) and i wouldnt have to say this again if you guys had read what i wrote, but i know you didnt coz ur in ur own little muslim world u made up with ur own rules … and mr chimp, “without making a point”?? kindly read back again what i wrote and you will know EXACTLY what my point is. but i guess u cant understand my “non-niggerese” either, now can you?.. poor fellow tut tut

    Racism is not allowed in Islam, for the Quran speaks of human equality in the following terms:

    O mankind, We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes for you to know one another. Truly, the noblest of you with God is the most pious.2 Truly, God is All-Knowing, All-Aware. (Quran, 49:13)

    Islam rejects certain individuals or nations being favored because of their wealth, power, or race. God created human beings as equals who are to be distinguished from each other only on the basis of their faith and piety.

    The Prophet Muhammad said:
    {O people! Your God is one and your forefather (Adam) is one. An Arab is not better than a non-Arab and a non-Arab is not better than an Arab, and a red (i.e. white tinged with red) person is not better than a black person and a black person is not better than a red person,3 except in piety.
    ..
    now i suggest you stop saying ur a true muslim because u dont even care of the ayat and hadith and keep rambling ur racist shit
    i can post some other ayats and hadith too if u like… clearly to show wht idiots u are and wht REAL islam is.

    u can talk shit abt what i hv to say but if ur such “great” muslims u cant talk crap about the real thing now can you?.
    i wonder now what ur going to write next,
    oh wait i know… ur gonna say “dumbass shit head”
    why?
    because like i wrote b4 u guys dont have a real response to the actual topic.. so thats y ur going on and on abt threats and cusses

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      We don’t read your mindless posts because it reeks of niggerese.

  • theheadchimp

    Dumbass shit head you are truly a mindreading muthafucka. You know what I am going to say before I post it. Well mindread this shithead
    1.
    2.
    3.
    p.s. dumbass shit head post some real facts instead of gibberish.

  • theheadchimp

    Dumbass shit head I just realized you sound like Lizard, but without the lameass joke. I thought you weren’t going to post anymore Liza? Being an engineer, only a smart educated person like you could figure out to use 2 screen names.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    im not sure why you think its lizard ur talking to but to be honest u are one fucked up asshole who has a brain the size of a pea
    real facts real facts
    u chimp what are the REAL facts…im posting quran surahs here and u think those arent real facts
    u r messed in the head dude… and like i said u still didnt say ANYTHING abt the actual topic

    and abdulla mindless posts? ur a shitty muslim if ur ignoring the ACTUAL surah’s ayat and hadiths

    im betting you are both chimp and abdulla… so that it looks like someones backing you up.. but meh even if ur not i dont care ur still full of shit :)

    toodles ;)

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    oh and thts why shitty muslims like you are here.. they dont read the truth in frnt of them and stay in their little made up muslim worlds like you abdulla… and you know something im not a racist fuck…. that isnt what islam is about… so go ahead and keep on talking shit abt other nations.. “because ur SUCH a great muslim” *claps sarcastically*
    i bet you havent read Quran once in ur life and just yap on abt what the nearest fucked up muslim told you
    am i right or am i right??
    and u know im glad u told me i can type like a black… i always wondered how they did that… guess i learned tht pretty quick now didnt i.. ty for telling me :D

    “peace out ma homies”

  • theheadchimp

    Dumbass shit head you are even more ignorant that I thought. Blah blah blah your mindless drivel is giving me a headache. I know that given a choice between a Muslim like you, and Abdullah I will take The Butcher any day. You religious dickheads spout your yadda yadda yadda but The Butcher tells it like it is.
    Reals facts???? You are full of opinions but no facts. Trying to impress with how smart you are just proves you are mental midget.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      I support the headchimp and his righteous message of rationality against the low life infidels, who continuously infest this site, like a plague from the time of Job.

      I warn you all you kuffars; which includes the most degenerate of the degenerate—-especially cock sucking homoqueers, rug munching lesbodykes, niggers, mexicans and jews—-all you fuckers must submit to the wisdom of the headchimp….or face Jihad wrath.

      You swine have been warned!
      Obey!

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    oh yeah u will take abdulla cuz hes a freak like you. and what makes u think im religious, i didnt even say tht ANYWHERE in my posts… u and ur butchy friend keeps going on and on abt tht.. i just wrote down 2 ayats and im religious?.. u make me laugh so much… all ur facts and opinions are shit now that i only presented u with 2 ayats.. haha u and the butcher were claiming to be the great muslims tht u are. i nvr said i was. but i know this that im FAR better than you.

    is it not a FACT that it is WRITTEN in th quran to not be racist..
    oh i guess u think thts just an opinion. dont you?

    peace out ma peeps.. i hv a harry potter marathon to watch now :)
    toodles
    *waves with kittenish smile*

  • theheadchimp

    Dumbass shit head
    *waves with kittenish smile* What the fuck kind of gay shit is that? The only fact that you have posted is that you are a fairy.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    lol funny how after all these posts u havent guessed tht im a girl…
    and now im so sure ur gonna start talking shit sbt how girls are dirt and men are great and wht not
    .. not tht i care… and thnx for telling me im a fairy.. u dont get tht kind of compliment everyday
    .
    fairy is leaving now, see you tomorrow :)))

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      someone who hates muslims…….. but is a fucked up nigger wannabee

      I will not say you are dirt…that would be an insult to dirt.

      As for you being a girl, I need to see your dna test. You are no doubt some sexually ambiguous abomination….in addition to being a huturd.
      The only thing we know for sure is that you are one dumbass kuffar.

      There will come a day when you and your asshole relatives have to account for your foul mouthed rants and numerous blasphemies….I hope I am the one to subject you to “the final solution, 21st century style.”

      Now go back to whatever immoral behavioral you are addicted to. I do not have time to waste on such a huturd as you.

      ALLAHU AKBAR

      PS the headchimp speaks more wisdom in one word than you could possibly produce in a lifetime….and if I have my way….your lifetime will be “cut” considerably short!

      Islam Rules!

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    only God knows who a kafir is and who a true muslim is.. u cant judge me.. and as for me being a girl well ull hv to take my word for it cuz thts true
    and me foul mouthed?? lol ur the one typing hoturd and asshole and everything on ur posts for no reason and im foul mouthed?

    .I hope I am the one to subject you to “the final solution, 21st century style.”
    21st century shove it up ur butt.. because tht is something muslims like you created.

    ok heres the thing.. post 1 just 1 ayat or surat or hadith or anything from quran that says something similar to saying tht what u “so called muslims” of the “21st century” are doing is allowed and ill shut up
    because trust me .. i have read the quran.. and there isnt anything there saying “cut their throats.. blow them apart. kill every non muslim”

    find 1 surah which says this and ill admit tht ur a GREAT muslim

    and u said 1 thing right…. islam does rule… no denying that part so i wont say anything bad abt tht.
    islam is the best..

  • Mmhmm

    Cancer is nature’s population control.

    We are not the “intelligent life-form” that we always brag about. I bet there are scientists out there right this second trying to figure out a way for people to live for a thousand years. You call that “intelligent”?

    Anyways, religion is a scape-goat, and cancer can – and will – happen to anybody. We live in a world of microwaves, cell phones and x-ray’s… so don’t cry about it.

    He was a good actor, but I will shed no more a tear as I would the next person… just because he’s an actor.

    • someone who hates muslims like you

      er ok?? lol

    • someone who hates muslims like you

      ikr .. it can happen to anyone. and religion doesnt have anything to do with it.

  • someone who hates muslims like you

    oh dude.. what is with you .. cant u chill. this is why people hate muslims.. if you tried to reason with them and help them teach and learn abt islam who knows how many of them wouldve converted. but because of this attitude tht we have they thyink islam is something bad.. now i know we’ve been fighting and all but seriously.. if i forced you to do something would you do it?.. u would only hate tht thing im forcing u to do…
    its the same with this. if you threaten to kill them do u really think that even if they do convert tht would be just out of fear. and not a true conversion?
    can u answer me this without fighting. this is my problem this is what i cant understand.
    no offence but ur a hot-headed guy but can u plz tell me this without just going ahead and cussing at me?

  • theheadchimp

    Ms. Dumbass shit head
    Its hard to believe you could use such profanity at a wholesome site like this. You should be ashamed.

    • someone who hates muslims like you

      what profanity? i just asked you something.. now im sorry if im not familiar with something that u think is bad but i – without fighting or cusses- would want to know if there is something wrong with me… im not an expert thts true.. but i asked you to tell me because i dont know. and u only reply with more cusses
      to be honest im truly sorry if i offended you or anythying and i know i said some bad things too.. but u werent any good either.. so from the start. i just want to know wht i did or said wrong. that u and abdullah attacked me?.
      because all i said was tht this guy was dying and u didnt care abt tht
      tht was wht my 1st post was abt.. so im not sure how it got upto here

  • theheadchimp

    someone who hates muslims
    Don’t take it personal. This site is for back and forth and give and take. Do you know what satire is? It is not meant to be taken seriously. You didn’t offend me and didn’t do anything you need to apologize for. Post in the spirit of the site ok?

    • someone who not so much hates muslims like you

      thnx for explaining that :) .and again sorry if i offended you or abdullah. i just got angry at the thought that someone was dying and people said “good riddance” just because of his religion.

      and abdullah:
      not fighting but u should be a little less hot headed.. we wouldnt have gone this far if we werent cussing each other out
      we really got off on the wrong foot… so truce? :)

  • theheadchimp

    not so much
    I can only speak for myself but nothing you said offended me. I can take as well as dish it out.

  • Muhammad al-Omari

    Women, like children, should only be seen and not heard.

    Western women do not know their place.

    • someone who not so much hates muslims like you

      women have thier own place and it was given to them by Hazrat Mohammad and and if ur talking about me then sorry to disappoint u but im not western

      • Muhammad al-Omari

        Yes, women do have their proper places — the kitchen, the laundry room, and rearing children at home. They do not belong alongside men in the workplace. In short, they do not belong anywhere their husbands, fathers or brothers have not given them permission to be.

        • Abdullah The Butcher

          You speak the truth Muhammad

          A Muslim woman’s place is at home with other Muslim women doing her required chores and raising future Jihadists. The moment they become polluted with crazy western ideas like microwaving TV dinners instead of preparing goat meat or thinking they are too delicate to dig a well…..they need immediately lashed…..and if that doesn’t solve the problem….they need stoned……to death

          Women need the Qur’an for moral guidance and a hard rock to keep them on the path righteousness.

          ALLAHU AKBAR

  • HairyArab

    I love this site, but seriously making fun of the terminally ill with cancer? You can come up with something funnier. Pretty lame. Obviously you were really digging for an article and all you could come up with was this fluff piece. I say “keep on praying to Allah and hopefully he’ll give you some inspiration to come up with some funny shit”

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      When the Jihad begins…I will personally show you some “funny shit”…..and by… “funny shit”….I mean your motherfucking guts ripped straight from your body.

      HA HA Hell…..MoFo!

      ALLAHU AKBAR

  • Rockmuede Cameljockey

    Praise be to Allah. My IED do not detonate correctly and this exchange of techno-mation has me doubt filled. Perhaps a stero-typical enginering major could help me. My goat has a wandering eye it seems. This goat does not know its place!

  • T.javed

    Really disturb my mind how week we human are, as a mslim my believe is we all have to die one day and if some one is sick or ill in this life may Allah ease his pain, because when any none Muslim get ill our beloved prophet Mohammad ( pbuh) alway go and see him or her and alway prey for them. Islam is for all humanity only few selfish people think otherwise. Allah made all mankind if Michel duglas is sick I pray for him Allah ease his pain rest of the judgment is not up to me. T

  • stickjihadupyourharris

    You smelly jo daki’s need exterminating. Who the f@ck do you think you mo fo’s are. I’ve just read through all of your twisted replies and can honestly say that you need putting down & so do your families for having you. You f@cking arabs are all the same, unwashed, smelly and full of shit, stick jihad firmly up your harris. My old dear had cancer & died from it you c@nts, would love for you to say some thing to my face about that, i’d turn you upside down and use your head for mop. Show some respect you retards.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      stickjihadupyourharris

      STFU Asshole!

      I want you to know that your niggerese was quite revolting to decipher.

      Why can’t you niggers learn English?

      I’ll tell you why….you huturds are the dumbest animals on the planet.

      Get back to your chicken and Boone’s farm while you can because in the coming Jihad….”we gonna pull da plug on you niggas!”

      Eat Shit Niggers!

      ALLAHU AKBAR

      • stickjihadupyourharris

        wrong colour you silly little dundaling, not that it matters.

        Your reply clearly shows that you have no brains at all. Get on your flee ridden north facing rug & pray that I never find out who you are or what you look like, cos if I do then Jihad, the taliban, ballsackbar or any other riduculas band of little sheet head wearing arabs ain’t gonna help you.

        Do one little boy.

        • Abdulla The Butcher

          stickyourheadupyourassharris

          You sound like a nigger and your ill written rant shows that you are as stupid as a nigger.
          Ha…I bet if you checked your family tree….you’d find a nigger swinging from a branch or two.

          In the eyes of Allah…..you are a filthy motherfucking nigger……and a target for nigger haters everywhere.

          Go to hell you MoFo nigger wannabee!

  • theheadchimp

    stickjihadupyourharris
    If you post like a nigger then you are a nigger no matter what shade you are.

  • stickjihadupyourharris

    the head chimp, that’s about rite, couldn’t have named you better myself as that’s what you sound like in your replies.

    quote “If you post like a nigger then you are a nigger no matter what shade you are” err, ok chimp or is it chump. I’m a white, english geezer who was offended by you & the other dirty shit heads that feel the need to mock some one with Cancer. Stick to eating banana’s and swinging from tree’s you mug or if you want to catch a flight over here then lets meet up to discuss further. That goes for any other of you fucktards that fancy avin some too. As for Abdullah, what sort of name is that, fucking ridiculas. your not even worth replying too you burk.

    No your place you dirty little arabs, you are firmly bottom of the pile in every aspect. Even Somalians are ahead of you lot in the pecking order.

    • Abdulla The Butcher

      Iwillstickyourheadupyourassharris

      You stupid ass brain dead infidel!

      Up till now, I just wanted you dead because you are A subhuman kuffar; now you have begun to insult not only the chimp…myself, and my religion.

      I tell you this vile eel eater….you have been too long on that shit hole island, fucking sheep, and practicing homoqueer sex with your fellow drunken buck-toothed bastards.

      And for your information…..my proud name means, “slave of God”
      What does your name mean harris?
      I’ll tell you….it means hairy ass cock sucker.

      How dare you even think that your fucked-up opinion on any topic matters to any normal human. You are no more than a turd with lips…..a walking shit pile. You don’t deserve to be listened to…you deserve to be killed…..and flushed down the toilet.

      Know this you filthy blasphemer….Jihad has already begun on your shitty rock of a country, and soon someone will be in your neighborhood, bringing Islam to your front door. On that day….you will know terror….and then meet Satan.

      Also, English is my second language and I still do better at it than you.
      I guess years of inbreeding and drinking have left you British subhumans nothing more than a bunch of stupid pussies.

      You had better hope you get cancer and croak, before you have to meet up with a pissed off Jihadist …….because I’m sending out the word to look for anyone named harris.

      And finally…..you still sound like a nigger

      Suck on that cocksucker!

      ALLAHU AKBAR

  • theheadchimp

    You limey asshole
    Do you even read the posts before you reply dumbass? You post like a nigger, you type like a nigger, then you are a white nigger. Do you understand that boy? You limey fucks are a sorry lot. Thats why your insignificant little island is infested with welfare niggers from Africa. Fuck the Queen and you too asswipe.
    PS Fuck your gay lil Prince Charles too.

  • stickjihadupyourharris

    yeah rite, slave of god. How about we just leave it at slave, as your only good for wiping peoples arseholes you bearded clown.

    How many ‘white niggers’ do you know you mug. You two really are the dumbest pricks i’ve ever come accross. I’m actually laughing at how stupid you are.

    Fuck you both, fuck your families, religion & above all your silly arab names that mean fuck all to anyone with half a brain cell. You are both morons of the highest order & as for inbreeding….you’re having a laugh, you sick fuckers are the worlds worst. That’s why you all look so fucking deformed.

    You have been told, now for the last time, fuck off & die.

    • Abdullah The Butcher

      Big talk from a limey pussy.

      Your scurrilous words means nothing to me…I have killed meaner women than you…and they were better spellers than you to boot.

      I have to say…you british suck! You fall somewhere between jews and niggers on the degeneracy scale; which puts you slightly behind the mexicans.

      And your big mouth is currently writing a check your old ass can’t cash.
      You don’t know what Jihad means old man but you will soon learn the price for your insolence…..and that price is death.

      Now get back to your crumpets and warm beer….you white trash asshole.

      I have Jihad business to do!

      ALLAHU AKBAR