The future Mrs Durka Durka, Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel, continues to frustrate me. Since we are obviously soul mates and meant to be together I find it a little irritating that she has yet to respond to any of my letters. I didn’t even get so much as a thank you card for the delicious goat testicles I sent her.

Obviously the real problem is that Candice Swanepoel has not had her clit circumcised yet. That explains why she is too busy running around in her underwear being a whore instead of waiting on me hand and foot like proper woman should. If her thong fitter at Victoria’s Secret could just give her a little snip I would be very grateful, and kill them last in the coming religious war.

Until Candice Swanepoel accepts her place by my side I will continue to post pictures of her in lingerie to shame her. Here is are a ton of pics of Candice doing what she does.