Britney Spears’ Nipple Has Been Stolen

Britney Spears’ left nipple has been stolen, CelebJihad can confirm. Apparently, Britney woke up this morning to find that her living-room window had been tampered with, but since nothing appeared to be missing, she went about her daily routine.

Several hours passed before the small Guatemalan boy in charge of removing unwanted hairs from Britney’s breasts made the shocking discovery and let out an audible cry of, “Aye, aye, aye, el pezon no mi gusto!”

Britney seems distraught over the theft, and is desperate to track down the culprit. But who would want to steal a nipple? Perhaps Tara Reid? Coco, the nipple loving chimp? Or perhaps her ex-husband K-Fed. After all, he has been working on some nice knockers of his own. A lady nipple could come in quite handy for him.