Billy Mays Found Dead
Billy Mays, the television pitchman for such products as “Kaboom!” and “OxiClean,” was pronounced dead Sunday morning. But wait there’s more! Not really though.
Authorities say Mays was found dead by his wife at his Tampa home. He was 50. Actually, he was 80, but since he died right now they took 30 years off. The family expects to have an autopsy done by Monday afternoon.
No word yet if they will be using an “Awesome Auger” to bury him, but one thing is for certain: Billy Mays is shouting at angels now.
I’m going to need Mighty Putty to stop these tears! :(
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I’m going to need the Scratch and Dent remover to fix my heart
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i bet they’ll put his urn on the mantle with the reach extending claw
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That claw’s awesome crap. As Billy might say, “it will even pick up a penny!” And smile smile smile. :) :) :)
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this isnt surprising he’s been hooked on that oxiclean for years
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is it bad karma if i use a Sham Wow to mop up my tears?
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Holy shit, I literally just said to my friend “I’m going to do StumbleUpon to take my mind off Billy Mays”.
The first thing I stumbled on was a quote that said “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
I was like, “Man, that’s relavent to my current situation”.
Next thing I stumbled on…was THIS.
This shit is freaking me out!
RIP Billy.
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Michael Jackson must’ve needed the OxiClean to bleach his skin.
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I’ve got no joke here…
‘cept to say, if I said I had 10 times the respect for Billy Mays that I had for Michael Jackson…
That would mean I had respect for Michael Jackson…
Rest in peace, Billy!
YOU will be missed
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Didn’t the makers of OxiClean had warnings: harmful if inhaled or swallowed?
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Don’t get me wrong, I loved the guy. He looked like my dad…(Only, my dad didn’t work, & would like Obama, as all lazy peeps do)…but Billy Mays motivated me to buy crap I never needed. Peeps like me kept the economy moving. Now the economy will tank even more without Billy Mays.
“Billy Mays here. Signing off.”
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obama all tha way bitch! so fuk u.
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G your helping your situation by using such excellent grammar, is this what we have to look forward to with an encouraged lazy generation? Thank you Mr. President!
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It would actually be “you’re helping your situation” not “your.” It’s a contraction of the words “you are.” Don’t be a dick to someone if you cannot speak or write correctly yourself.
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See what I mean? Billy Mays encouraged peeps to buy crap they don’t need, MJ encouraged New Kids on My Cock, & Obama encouraged Braindead-Obamabot-Zombies.
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Obama is an economic nitt-witt. He is a mad-dictator-tyrant-wannabe. Out of his entire cabinet, only 2 of them had ever ran a payroll & had real Executive skills. Everyone else, including Obama, never ran a lemonade stand. A community organizer is not a job. If you’re a community organizer, uve just been organIZED.
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Kaboom baby.
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It’s like Allah’s calling all his Angels back to Heaven.
David Carridine
Ed McMahon
Farrah Fawcett
Michael Jackson
Billy Mays
Daniel Day Lewis
Courtney Love
Martin Short
R.I.P.
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HEY NOW!!!
daniel day lewis the man….dont joke like that. i hope his ghost drinks up your milkshake for the rest of eternity
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They say deaths happen in threes. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw one in for free.
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OMG…you’re the smartest man alive. thanks that was awesome
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BILLY WAS A GREAT ADVITISOR ILL MISS HIM HIS COMERCIALS WERE GREAT IVE SEEN ANOTHER GUY DO COMERCIALS BUT BILLY MAYS WERE BETTER R.I.P. BILLY MAYS YOUR IN ALL OF OUR HEARTS
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BREAKING NEWS: I just found out an hour ago that Billy Mays died from a cocain overdose.
Michael Jackson’s death is still a mystery. Murder? Suicide? Drug overdose? The peeps have a right to know…
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