Closeted British homosexual Russell Brand blindsided wife Katy Perry when he filed for divorce Friday December 30th citing irreconcilable differences. “Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage,” he said in a statement to PEOPLE “I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”
Feeling betrayed Katy Perry did what any desperate, attention starved infidel whore would do, she released a statement of her own, to an unknown source saying, “I gave my heart, soul, and ass virginity to a man that didn’t appreciate me and filed for divorce behind my back like a coward.”
An off the record comment was overheard when Perry joked with fellow pop star whore and friend Rihanna about leaking a sex tape starring Brand and herself which Katy described as “A visual exploration of a rape fantasy meets an aristocrats joke.” adding that “I have nothing to remember him by except this video and the occasional genital herpes outbreak, but I’m going to make HIM remember me forever”
No word yet on when the Katy Perry Russell Brand sex tape will be leaked, but I for one will welcome it’s release with open eyes, a bottle of camel spit, and a steady hand.
Just when I think this country and its celebrities have hit rock bottom, Katy Perry manages to sink even further into depravity. As the photo above clearly demonstrates, Katy Perry takes part in wanton acts of bestiality. No, I’m not talking about that filthy British ape man to whom she prostitutes herself. I’m talking about disgusting sex acts with circus animals, including elephants.
Katy is truly a sick individual. The Qur’an strictly forbids both bestiality and oral sex, not to mention that a woman is also not allowed to open her mouth more than four centimeters without the permission of a male relative. But despite these clearly defined rules, just look at how Katy struggles to fit her mouth around the elephant’s giant member.
Katy Perry must be punished. I did not spare my own sister when I caught her in a compromising position with my uncle’s camel. We buried her up to her head in the sand, covered her face with Nutella and left her for the scorpions. The same must be done to Katy Perry if this country wishes the Celebrity Jihad to end!
