Less than one year after getting beat down by Chris Brown, Rihanna is dating again. Her choice? Somewhat curious considering it is a man who makes his living swinging a baseball bat – Dodgers slugger Matt Kemp.
Standing at 6’3, 230 pounds Kemp is equipped to throttle the obviously masochistic Rihanna in a way that she never imagined possible. Nicknamed “The Bison” for both his size, aggressiveness, and raw style of play, Kemp is capable of a Rihanna ass-whooping that would make Chris Brown’s handiwork look like a scraped knee in comparison.
While the relationship is still in the honeymoon period, it is only a matter of time until the man MLB scouts call “the NFL’s loss” gets sick of Rihanna refusing to shut her man pleaser and uses her for a little late-night batting practice. Below are a few photos of the pre-Rihanna Matt Kemp moments of rage:
Kemp practices a chokehold guaranteed to “shut that bitch up”
Kemp throws a rage-filled right hook while “blacking out and seeing red,” testimony he will draw upon in open court six-months from now
Kemp works on his “What the f*ck?!” face when the jury convicts him of aggravated assault in court
Kemp practices being restrained after beating Rihanna within an inch of her life
Kemp goes into “Beast Mode” (as his T-shirt states) and practices “blasting that bitch with a bottle of champagne”
Pop star and ex punching bag Rihanna expresses herself as a woman the only way a woman can by posing almost nude for pictures in a magazine. In this case that magazine is the upcoming issue of GQ.
It takes a lot to impress me after I’ve already seen the subject naked, so since Rihanna’s naked pics were leaked her photos were just not catching my attention until now. The first pic espcially is quite good. Very classy and artsy use of a crotch grab with tits almost fully exposed.
Here are the pics of Rihanna in GQ. The only thing missing is some doggy style butt stuff… maybe next time.
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In a wacky attempt to make light of his domestic violence issues with Rihanna, Chris Brown and a friend have chosen the outrageously tasteless Halloween costumes of “A Salt” and “Battery.” This is no doubt a play on the term “assault and battery,” and is meant to poke fun at the brutal beating he allegedly gave Rihanna earlier this year. Leave it to the always optimistic Brown to take a negative situation and make the best out of it.
Brown, pictured above as “Battery,” came up with the idea while antiquing with his friend and longtime male companion, Rinaldo, who is pictured above as “A Salt.” At first, Brown was apprehensive about the costumes, until the always catty Rinaldo assured him that “if Rihanna can take a beating, she can surely take a joke.”
Added Rinaldo, “Ewww, I’m such a bitch.”
Happy Halloween, fellas!
Does Chris Brown want to repeatedly hit Rihanna in the face with a hammer until her skin falls off and she looks like the corpse of Michael Jackson? Surprisingly, the singer says no.
In his first radio interview since assaulting Rihanna, Brown said he wants a second chance. At no time did the singer make any comments about his unquenchable desire to pound Rihanna’s face into a bloody mess with the closest blunt object at hand.
“At the end of the day, I’m human,” said Brown, who was probably thinking about smashing Rihanna’s eye socket with a brick during the whole interview. “Of course you’re gonna have your thoughts and opinions. I’m not gonna say they’re wrong. But at the end of the day, it’s not right to judge someone,” Brown said.
We assume that is code for, “God I wish Rihanna was here right now so I could use this chair to knock out all of her god damn teeth.”
Rihanna continued her quest to snag Justin Timberlake from Jessica Biel by wearing this see through dress. Rihanna made sure to show that her booty can rival Jessica’s as far as shape and plumpness.
Justin Timberlake should go with Rihanna. He’s been stuck with Jessica Biel for years now he has to be tired of her. Besides Chris Brown already did the majority of the work in training Rihanna. Justin may just have to slap her every now and then, but she should be pretty well behaved.
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A few months ago naked pictures of Rihanna were leaked to the Internet. The rumor was that Chris Brown had leaked them to damage Rihanna’s reputation.
Internet skeptics dismissed the pictures because the naked woman in them has a nipple ring on her right breast. The skeptics swore Rihanna did not have a nipple ring. Well look at this.
For those that are a little slow it looks like the nipple ring is on the other breast because she is taking the picture in a mirror. So as you can see Rihanna does have a nipple ring that looks nearly identical to the one from the leaked nude photos.
Here are Rihanna’s leaked naked pictures for your enjoyment.
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Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are on the rocks, Star Magazine is reporting. Sources close to Timberlake are speculating that the split is due to the fact that Timberlake is desperate to hit Rihanna.
“He really, really wants to hit that shit,” said a source close to Timberlake. “She’s well known for letting other guys hit that, so Justin knows he’s got a chance.”
The source continued, “I know Justin, and he would hit that shit hard, too. He’d just destroy her, and she’d be sore for weeks, that much is for sure. She might not even be able to walk right after he was done.”
When asked how far Timberlake would go to get a shot at Rihanna, the source said, “He’d do anything, even if it meant spending time in jail, just to hit that once.”
