Perez Hilton is a lot of things: fat, gay, tubby, queer, chunky, gay, fat. Also, he’s gay. But is he a child pornographer? Demi Moore thinks so.


Apparently, Demi has taken offense to Hilton’s suggestion that she is a bad mother for dressing her daughter Tallulah like a Beirut street prostitute.


“Let me ask all of you, what is it called when someone is telling people to look and focus on a child’s ‘boobs & ass’ while providing photos?” Moore asked via her twitter account.


Since you’re reading celebrity gossip, we’ll make it a multiple choice question.


The answer is:

A – Billy Ray Cyrus

B – Joe Simpson

C – A child pornographer

D – Joe Francis

E – All of the above


The answer will be given later today.



I always figured Fergie loved big cock, I just had no idea that Allah had blessed her with one of her own. Her obsession with her “lovely lady lumps” always seemed odd, and now we know why. This girl has a penis as big as minaret!

This also explains why will.i.am’s clan reacted so violently when the great sodomite Perez accused him of being “fag.” Perhaps the filthy manyak was right, and will.i.am loves Fergie’s giant scud?


Fergie cock grab Fergie grabs her cock Fergie

perez hilton



This is a picture of the noted sodomite Perez Hilton with a black eye after being punched by the manager for the Black Eyed Peas, the righteous Polo Molina. It is probably the most satisfying picture I will see all week.


If Allah in his infinite wisdom allowed onanism, I would pleasure myself furiously to this pic.

perez punch



There have been a few celebrity responses to the whole Perez Hilton getting punched incident. It is not surprising that celebrities are being sassy towards the noted sodomite and celebrity blogger. No word yet if any celebrities are going to doodle penises on his pic and post them on their blog though.


Kelly Clarkson:
“I’m gonna be honest with you, he’s gonna get a lot of flowers—not Perez, the manager. I do not think violence is the answer, but what did you expect? You can’t say that much crap about people without having to say something.


Joe Rogan:
“PerezHilton talking about how he doesn’t like drama in his life after he called Will.I.Am a fag and got punched in the head made my day. Watch this, it makes you want to smack him. 3 He talks shit about people for a living and gets upset when karma rolls.”


John Mayer:
Not true. In fact I’d like to train you in Krav Maga. Then you’ll have the situational awareness not to get in someone’s face. I also want to train you in an old martial art called “Never Call A Black Dude a Faggot Jitsu.” this will be the last public mention of it. You know how to find me. Words have cause and effect, even if the effect is wrong.”


Frankie Muniz:
“Perez Hilton, how do you call a man a FAGGOT right in his face and not expect to get hit?”


Travis McCoy (of Gym Class Heroes):
“PS. WILL.I.AM- 1, PEREZ-0, It’s about fucking time.
AAGH,I just watched him get his Chris Crocker on ‘I write drama about other peoples lives,I don’t want drama in mine’ You got BOOM BOOM POW’D! Violence is not the answer. Trust me, been through it. The fact is, not EVERYONE is going to take being called a vulgar expletive lightly.”

will.i.am



will.i.am

will.i.am

will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas is one of our most hated infidels. For years I have prayed to Allah to smite him from the earth. I even went as far as to email my cousin Amin who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Osama Bin Laden’s 11th son to see if we could issue a fatwa against the blasphemer. But Allah the Most Wise, in his infinite wisdom, had other plans, and continued to let will.i.am “get retarded in here.”

 

But last night while attending a party in new Sodom (Toronto), will.i.am became an instrument in God’s divine plan. He (allegedly) had a member of his clan attack my arch nemesis, celebrity blogger and noted sodomite Perez Hilton. My heart lept with joy as I watched this video of the once boastful heretic humbled to the point of tears. All praise to Allah the Humiliator and Righteous Teacher.

Perez Hilton


As for will.i.am, I have no doubts that he will squander his god-given chance at redemption and return to his sinful life of shitty, shitty music. But for today, peace be upon him.

 

Allahu Akbar

Two years after launching his celebrity blog perezrichie.com, local overweight homosexual Perez Richie has been unable to find much of an audience.


Richie, a semi-literate immigrant from Guatemala, has been attempting to piggyback the success of his hero, Perez Hilton, but has thus far been unable to even remotely rival perezhilton.com, as evidenced by his Alexa traffic rank of 24,578,785.


Though there are countless reasons for Richie’s failure, he is unable to see any of them.


“It not fair my site make no money,” whined Richie. “I fat, I gay, I have internet. Why I can’t be rich like Perez?”


New Media experts point to Richie’s home base in Oklahoma City versus Hilton’s roots in Los Angeles as one reason for his inability to gain traction online.


“On one hand you have a person who is connected within the business, in the center of everything and who updates his site multiple times a day,” said Kathy Martin of Digicom Media. “On the other you have an individual who, aside from barely speaking English, is completely out of touch with celebrity gossip, updates his site less than once a month and, on the occasions when there is a new posting, it’s usually ripped out of last year’s headlines. It should come as no surprise to Richie that his site is such a colossal failure.”


With recent unreadable headline stories such as “Britney Does Oops Again” and “Taco Bell Chi-wa-wa Quiero Fancy Feast Cat”, Richie seems destined to continue his unsuccessful attempts at becoming a celebrity blogger. However, he has indicated that he will continue on with his occasional postings until the day that he can no longer afford the $6.99 renewal fee for his domain name.


“I keep going for my dream even after I wake up,” said Richie. “My dream all I have left, besides my Type II diabetes. Doctor say I have that forever.”