Victoria’s Secret model and Orlando Bloom’s bang toy Miranda Kerr posed naked for the upcoming issue of GQ magazine.

What the hell did Orlando Bloom ever do to deserve to plow Miranda Kerr every night. Sure those elf and pirate movies he was in were pretty good, but it is not like he is a Jihadist who writes for a mildly popular celebrity gossip site or anything. Besides with that baby face I sincerely doubt Orlando can grow a proper beard.

Miranda Kerr needs to be with someone more fanatical and exponentially more hairy like myself. She could run her finger’s through my back hair and make me purr like a wild cat! Then we could go at it for like 15 minutes before I leave her covered in my sweat and unsatisfied. So if anyone out there knows Miranda Kerr pass it along that I am interested… but don’t make me sound desperate!

Here are the naked pictures of Miranda Kerr in GQ magazine.

Alessandra Ambrosio and Miranda Kerr posed in their Valentine’s Day lingerie for these pictures in Victoria’s Secret’s new catalog.

As many of you unlucky in love girls are probably well aware Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and frankly I don’t want to hear any of your whining about how you can’t find a “good man”. You need to stop blaming men for your issues and look at yourself first. If you looked and dressed exactly like Alessandra Ambrosio or Miranda Kerr you’d have a line of “good men” at your front door.

I know it seems obvious now but you’d be amazed at how many women out there don’t look like super models. It is like hello girlfriend what are you thinking!

Anyway here are the pics of Alessandra Ambrosio and Miranda Kerr in their Valentine’s Day lingerie. Let this be the model for you girls on how you should look, and know that anything less will make you a failure who will probably die alone.

Miranda Kerr and some other models posed topless for the 2010 Pirelli calendar.

I have no idea who or what Pirelli is but it sounds European. That would probably explain why the girls are all topless. Many Americans don’t know that in Europe the women all walk around topless.

That was the main reason why the sexually repressed Pilgrims came to America. They were fleeing the beautiful bare breasts of Europe. Share that little bit of information with your friends and family this Thanksgiving. Oh and show them these pictures to emphasize the point.

Victoria Secret just held their annual lingerie fashion show, and once again Celeb Jihad was not invited to attend. If you are half as outraged at this snub as I was then I will need to pause for a moment to let you collect yourself…..

When are those Zionist pigs at Victoria Secret going to recognize that Celeb Jihad is the Internet’s #1 celebrity gossip site run by Islamic extremists? It can hardly be considered an “event” if we are not there to cover it!

As a showing of goodwill I have decided to post pictures from the show. But hear me Victoria Secret, if I am not invited to the next showing and given an exclusive backstage pass to the model changing area were I will be allowed to inspect how the bras and panties fit, apply baby oil, and tweak nipples, then there will be hell to pay!

Wow it must suck to be Orlando Bloom, between these pics of Miranda Kerr’s ass and these of her topless I’ve pretty much seen his girlfriend naked.

How do you like that Mr hot shot movie star? I can picture your girl nude and do nasty things to her whenever I want and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. You do not even want to know what I have planned for her tonight. Let’s just say if someone actually did this they’d put them away for a long time… and probably have to shoot the donkey.

Miranda Kerr, who is best known as the parking spot for Orlando Bloom’s penis, had a nip slip occur during a recent photo shoot for Speedo.

Sure we have already posted topless pics of Miranda Kerr here, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy checking in on the state of her nipples every once and a while. From this nip slip pic I can tell not much has changed, they are still adorable.

Miranda Kerr is a beautiful Victoria Secret model, but she is probably best known as the place where Orlando Bloom parks his manhood.

Why a beauty like Miranda is wasting her feminine wiles on a man like Orlando Bloom is beyond me. As evident from his “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies Orlando is incapable of growing a respectable beard thus proving that he is not a real man.

Miranda should be with a real man like Osama or Santa Claus not that lady boy Orlando. In the Middle East women scorn baby face half men. I guess I’ll never understand western aesthetics.

Here are some pics of Miranda Kerr topless at the beach during a Victoria Secret photo shoot.