Like most Americans, I bust my ass day in and day out to collect a disability check. But it seems like every month a higher portion of my hard-earned money is going toward my cable bill. Why?

I’ll tell you why! It’s because of all these unemployed, white single mothers. Rather than get a useful TV job like “weather girl” or “softcore starlet,” these women just sit around and have a bunch of babies so they can live off handouts from the cable companies.

It makes me sick, but how can I blame them? Why should they work when they know those bleeding-heart TV executives and their mindless liberal policies have incentivized irresponsible behavior? The more kids these white women have, the bigger the handout.

Kate Gosselin: White! No job! No husband! Just 8 kids and bunch of stuff we paid for!

Octomom: White (whiter than I am, anyway)! No job! No man! 14 friggen kids from multiple fathers. When I see her driving around in her fancy SUV showing off her expensive lip injections it makes me sick!

Michelle Duggar: White! No job! At least she has a husband and teaches her 18 kids important things like right from wrong and how dinosaurs never existed. But answer me this; who is paying for all those fancy ankle-length denim dresses and her trendy bird’s nest hairdo! We are, that’s who!

I hate to paint all white women with the same brush, but stereotypes exist for a reason. I didn’t immigrate to this country and blow my legs off just so a bunch of lazy white parasites could jack up my cable bill.

Contact your congressman today and tell him to do something about all these white, unemployed single mothers.